It’s true! American schools do brainwash children. Just not in the way I thought | Arwa Mahdawi

Imagine my shock when our three-year-old came home singing about ... an NFL team. I blame the teachers

Parents, beware! If you send your impressionable young child to school in the US they are at risk of contracting a nasty case of the woke-mind virus. There's a good chance a teacher will turn your kid trans and, in the middle of maths, whip out surgical equipment to perform gender-affirming surgery. We know this because - despite any evidence to back it up - our esteemed leader, Donald Trump, has said as much.

Can you imagine you're a parent and your son leaves the house and you say, Jimmy, I love you so much. Go have a good day in school,' and your son comes back with a brutal operation," Trump said at a rally last year.

Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist