It’s war and peace with Donald and Pete – and the worst group chat the world has ever seen | Marina Hyde

We absolutely won't tolerate leaks, they said before looping in a journalist to top secret war plans. Feel safe? Me neither

Once again, we find ourselves having an anguished debate about mobile phones and online safety, in this case asking: should we ban the devices for US national security advisers under the age of 60? Do you know what your national security adviser is doing on his device? Is he using it to stay in touch with other guys in the big-man-osphere to talk about bombing Hooters? Or did he maybe add the editor-in-chief of a leading general interest magazine to a Signal group in the crucial hours running up to a highly sensitive US military operation in Yemen, seemingly committing so many alleged crimes that he should have a full-body orange jumpsuit tattooed on him for ever?

By now, you will have caught up with the tale of one of the most idiotic breaches of security imaginable - executed, regrettably, by the actual US national security adviser. Mike Waltz seems to have been aided and abetted in his full-spectrum fatuity by other ultra-senior figures, including the vice-president, JD Vance, and the defence secretary, Pete Hegseth, who shared detailed operational and strategic information in a chat to which Atlantic editor Jeffrey Goldberg had been accidentally invited. Is Hegseth OK? Has he returned to being - how to put this delicately? - someone you probably don't want to give important tasks to after lunch"?

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist