Gizmos and toys for babies to help harassed parents

Jude Rogers, with 11-month-old Evan in tow, tests the latest technology

Man has been tested through history. Abraham underwent trials, Hercules suffered labours. Women have been tested too, and I am among them, having been asked to assemble and review baby technology while in charge of 11-month-old Evan.

Driven by a birth boom, this market is rotund. A staggering 900m a year is spent on baby products, with new gizmos issued at the rate of stinky nappies. Innovation is key. Why have a simple buggy when yours could have headlamps and an odometer? Educational toys are old news: here's Baby's Own Tablet! The marketing literature says this stuff is for people who "enjoy staying on top of the hottest trends ...[and] we know your children feel the same way". "Gimmicky tat for credulous ******", my husband sighs, wrestling with an allen key. Electronic kiddie entertainment or assistance is useful, but there is a darkness behind the trend too.