On the road: Nissan Pulsar – car review

'The handling is a bit creaky and stiff, like a person with a slightly bad back'

Nissan has been going through a phase of making cars that look like their internal organs are on the outside of their bodies (chief among them, the marvellously ugly Juke, which once you notice, you become fascinated by, like ugly babies). In the Pulsar, they bring us a car that looks like a car: they are obviously a bit embarrassed by that, which is why they gave me a red one (they think we're like bulls, and you hold our attention by waving a red thing at us: which in my case is broadly true).

The look suited me fine: I prefer a hatchback to be sensibly close to the ground. The way they endlessly try to raise themselves above one another is vulgar. It has all kinds of nice finishes, from the classy textures on the ledge above the exhaust, to the alloy wheels, to the elegant fonts on all the displays. The boot looks large and is even larger, as I learned when I swapped cars while away and had to leave the dog in Kent (joking! I went back for him).