On the road: Vauxhall Adam S – car review

'If you have driving aims other than feeling like a giant and going extremely fast, think again'

The Vauxhall Adam Grand Slam was a variation on the Adam, designed to be more appealing to men; then, manliness being such a difficult quality to pin down, they changed the name to the S. Everybody knows that men love initials, especially consonants.

You cannot fault it on performance. Its 1.4-litre, turbo-charged, four-cylinder petrol engine could get a tractor to a decent speed over time; a car this size is at 62mph from cold in the time it takes you to wonder how long it will be before you have a panic attack and jump out, shouting, "I don't need an MRI! I'm fine with a brain tumour - I'll get it treated homoeopathically!" (This, if you really want to put a number on it, is 8.5 seconds.)