Mini JCW: ‘This car asks: Are you having fun yet? The answer is, of course, yes’ – car review

If I didn't have children and I did a lot of exciting driving, this is the car I would get

On day five with the Mini JCW (John Cooper Works, if you like your car to be known by a host of unconnected words), I mused aloud that if I didn't have children (they complained about the legroom, as they always do, and it's only going to get worse), and I did a lot of exciting driving, this is the car I would get. The eight-year-old said he now understood how the dog felt when we discussed what breed we'd get once he was dead. (The six-year-old said, in an unhurried monotone, "Sausage dog. Furry one.")

Oh yes. In this natty little hot hatch, with its dials and binnacles and cup holders and darling gear stick, all-round shiny and joyful like a Marc Jacobs key ring, its beautiful red and racing green colour-way, its ever-ready revving, I can totally see it: just me, a wire-haired dachshund and the open road. It's quirky, but it refuses to sacrifice performance for cuteness.