Which U.S. president would win in a massive knife fight?

This is from way back in 2012, but Geoff Micks determined which U.S. president would win in a massive knife fight and it is essential reading.

The scenario had a few rules-the combatants are in the best health of their presidencies, they're in the Colosseum, each are issued with a standard Gerber Combat Knife, FDR is permitted a motorized wheelchair-but they are otherwise left to their stabby devices.

Each president's chances are individually discussed. [via JWZ]