The Register

Agenda revealed – get your tickets today for November conference Event We’re thrilled to announce the first tranche of conference speakers for Serverless Computing London, which will return to the UK capital from November 6 to 8.…

Think we're at RISC of overdoing the Intel puns Ubuntu is set to drop support for the i386 processor architecture beginning with its next release.…

Massive data dump, code release for E.T. hunters After years of listening to the cosmos, scientists have failed to pick up any sign of alien civilizations. So, the experts have dumped online a petabyte of signals picked up from the Breakthrough Listen project so nerds like you and me can rifle through the readings and have a crack at finding E.T.…

Follow us down the rabbit hole in uncovering who is possibly responsible Google has removed a Chrome extension called Youtube Queue from its official online store for violating its program policies following complaints it was hijacking users' web searches.…

Watch Rasputin sing like, uh, Beyonce, Einstein natter away... Videos Remember that artificially intelligent software that could transform lifeless still images, such as portrait paintings, into moving heads? Well, you can now take a single photo or picture of someone and animate it to make them say specific words and sentences, using AI algorithms.…

150,000 personal records on people, including US veterans, upset with their healthcare In what has become a depressingly common occurrence, the personal information of hundreds of thousands of people may have fallen into the wrong hands because yet another organization did not secure a cloud-hosted database.…

Just make sure you're running the latest version Mozilla has released an emergency critical update for Firefox to squash a zero-day vulnerability that is under active attack.…

'Customers want tech as a service, they also want it on their terms' – at least 50% correct, there, Ant HPE – the company that failed to cut it in the public cloud and offloaded its Enterprise Services biz a few years back – wants to make its whole portfolio available to buy as-a-service by 2022.…

We can't decide if Primera sounds like a Thundercats character or a 1990s eurodance hit HPE has pitched Primera, its new high-end storage platform, at mission-critical applications, and it may eventually edge out the 3PAR line.…

Digital currency tokens coming to WhatsApp, Messenger next year Comment Facebook – the global ad business pilloried repeatedly over the past 15 years for privacy disasters – on Tuesday announced a scheme to allow account holders to buy credits and spend the digitized funds online through a network of partners, under a "strong commitment to privacy."…

The tables are turned, database tables that is The healthcare debt collector ransacked by hackers, who gained access to millions of patients' personal information, has filed for bankruptcy protection.…

Photoshop-compatible files, 3 types of brushes in touchy app Adobe has unveiled Fresco, the new drawing and painting application – previously known as Project Gemini – that should be out later this year.…

Up to hundreds of petabytes per filesystem, thanks to Lustre Tintri's California-based data-nomming daddy, HPC player DDN, has squeezed out the latest crop of appliances in its EXAScaler product family, EXA5.…

Hint: The pub is that way >>> Updated Google Calendar has gone TITSUP* with no sign given as to when it should be unborked.…

What next? Tugging the Test Plans? Grappling with GitLab? Microsoft-owned GitHub has waved a big bunch of bamboo shoots at code collaboration outfit Pull Panda.…

What? We're not afraid it'll attack us in our sleep. Are you? Blighty's Ministry of No Fun Allowed* has continued to live up to its nickname by slapping an export ban on a fugly crab ornament that by all rights should be locked in a chest and slung into the deepest abyss never to be seen again.…

Well, oil be damned. Faster computers, faster apocalypse? French oil and gas supermajor Total will be seeking to pump even more flammable stuff out of the ground after purchasing the world's most powerful commercial supercomputer from IBM.…

Microsoft's risky strategy: Develop on Windows, deploy to Linux Docker has published details of what its container technology will look like for developers working on Windows, after the release of Microsoft's Windows Subsystem for Linux 2 (WSL 2) that is currently in preview.…

Contents were cached by Google so we can all point and giggle Someone in the Parliamentary Digital Service managed to leave a server so completely exposed to the internet that Google indexed the Windows machine’s operating system.…

AI know what you did last summer Windows-on-Mac flinger Parallels gave its Remote Application Server (RAS) a slapping with the wet fish of AI this morning with the release of version 17, featuring Session Pre-Launch.…

Home devices are so poorly guarded, attackers don't even need sophisticated tools While netizens and journalists worry about criminals and spies using sophisticated cyber-weapons to hijack Internet of Things devices, basic security protections are being overlooked – and pose a far greater threat.…

The benefits of cloud in a fast-moving future Promo Amazon Web Services is launching a series of videos to illustrate the various ways its cloud can help businesses innovate and prosper.…

GoDaddy offspring admits to security breach, takes sweet time with emergency patching UK hosting provider tsoHost is recovering from a week of major service disruption, after discovering "unauthorized code" was "injected into servers" in one of its data centres.…

Also: The Bennu Thrill Show - coming to an asteroid near you Roundup What price a boot on the Moon? Or maybe six robot wheels? There's a number for the former in this week's round-up of all things spacey.…

Software trained from patient transcripts. The 'normal' dataset? From, er, Reddit Machine-learning algorithms can help psychologists predict, with 90 per cent accuracy, the onset of psychosis by analyzing a patient's conversations, according to this research here.…

Talk about poacher turned gamekeeper Video Artificial intelligence built by Adobe can detect how an image may have been manipulated using, er, Adobe Photoshop, and predict what a doctored picture should have looked like.…

Bitdefender teams up with FBI, cops to rescue Windows PC documents Victims of the latest incarnations of the GandCrab ransomware now have a way to reclaim their files without paying a penny to extortionists, thanks to the release of a decryption tool.…

Tweet deleted as telly maker reconsiders damning but refreshingly honest messaging Samsung on Sunday sent out a tweet urging people to check their Sammy smart TVs for viruses – and then deleted the message, as if someone realized that highlighting the risks posed by connected TVs may be bad for business.…

Woulda, CUDA, shoulda "Nvidia brings CUDA to Arm," the graphics chip giant announced with a straight face on Monday, specifically, "its support for Arm CPUs."…

Payment biz shrugs, says users are fine with sharing Graduate student Dan Salmon has released online seven million Venmo transfers, scraped from the social payment biz in recent months, to call attention to the privacy risks of public transaction data.…

Don't let miscreants play hacky-SACK with your gear. Apply these mitigations, patches now if you can It is possible to crash vulnerable network-facing Linux servers, PCs, and gadgets, or slow down their network connections, by sending them a series of maliciously crafted packets. It is also possible to hamper vulnerable FreeBSD machines with the same attack.…

Actually probe expensive gear in real life? Pah. It's 2019. We're Boeing digital As the Boeing 737 Max controversy rolls on, the American planemaker has now been embroiled in a fresh row – after it was revealed it wants to shorten and replace some physical certification tests with software-powered processes.…

Claws out as slippery-pawed cameraman renders officials with cat ears and whiskers A political party in Pakistan is suffering the indignity of internet memedom after someone left the cat filter switched on while live-streaming a press conference.…

Toughen it up and reduce all that warrantless state surveillance, demands Liberty Human rights pressure group Liberty is taking the British government to court this week in its ongoing battle to have the most invasive parts of the so-called Snoopers' Charter struck down.…

Shasta minute: HPE purchase to provide 1 exabyte of ClusterStor for Oak Ridge National Laboratory Cray has won a $50m-plus contract to provide 1 exabyte of ClusterStor storage for Oak Ridge National Laboratory's (ORNL) Frontier exascale supercomputer in the United States.…

George Gilder and Nicholas Negroponte join CEO for 2-hour 'Tea with Mr Ren' Huawei's public relations onslaught continued today with a "panel discussion" between the company's founder Ren Zhenfei, blockchain blowhard George Gilder and MIT Media Lab co-founder and non-stop tech panellist Nicholas Negroponte.…

League of Entropy is the superhero gang you may or may not need Like some kind of space-age Bingo hall caller, a cloud-based API that publicly streams random numbers arrives today, and is being touted by Cloudflare.…

20 GOTO 10 After just over 55 years, the birthplace of BASIC has been honoured with a memorial marker in New Hampshire, USA.…

Don't wanna be a security id-IoT: Trusted hardware extends beyond computers The Trusted Computing Group (TCG), a nonprofit developing hardware-based cybersecurity tools, has started work on the "world's tiniest" Trusted Platform Module (TPM).…

Also: storage migration, Mac development and The Trillion Dollar Man performs the dividend dance Roundup The Edge team subjected itself to the dubious mercies of keyboard warriors in a Reddit AMA, a new Mac Visual Studio and storage shenanigans – it's just another week at Microsoft.…

But don't get too excited, it can't do much at the moment A group of researchers at Florida State University have said they've crafted the world's strongest superconducting magnet.…

Don't tell Trump, OK? And it's not for Joe Bloggs, it's for the hedge funds Companies listed on the UK stock market will effectively be able to offer shares to Chinese investors from today.…

We said engineers made the API too powerful. We weren't wrong Analysis In a mild PR blitz, Google engineers this month insisted the ad giant's shake up of Chrome browser extensions won't kill advert blockers. Instead, we're told, Googlers are making the plugins safer. Those engineers have more work to do than it may seem.…

Take the right steps for a hassle-free deployment Sponsored webcast Office 365 is the solution many organisations gravitate towards when they are looking to move from legacy office applications to a more flexible, mobile-friendly solution for sharing documents and collaborating with colleagues and clients.…

Age verification needs a firm hand, sector warns Age-verification providers are privately calling for a compulsory certification scheme ahead of the UK government's controversial online porn laws due to come into force next month.…

Early responses from government consultation not happy with off taxman's plans Industry bodies are urging the British government to delay its plans to extend much-hated anti-avoidance tax law IR35 to the private sector, according to an analysis of responses to a government consultation by ContractorCalculator.…

Friends don't let friends use TRUNCATE Who, Me? Bid farewell to the festivities of the weekend with a story of self-inflicted pain in our weekly Who, Me? column.…

Your Monday morning catch-up on machine-learning tech Roundup Here's your latest dose of machine-learning news beyond what we've already published.…

Your quick guide to hacks, patches and scandal Roundup Here's a quick roundup of recent infosec news beyond what we've already reported.…

That's a wrap for the file-sharing skin flick shakedown It was a simple plan: obtain the rights to pornographic films, share copies of them online, then threaten to sue those downloading the skin flicks for copyright infringement unless they paid a $3,000 settlement fee.…