The Register

Would madam care for native support for SAM in madam's pipeline? As the march to the cloud continues, the Jenkins project has tossed developers a bone in the form of a plugin for AWS serverless functions.…

Offers a no-details flash performance guarantee NetApp has a new version of ONTAP which supports server persistent memory caching, a flash-accelerated object storage system, and its containerised storage provisioner supports NetApp cloud storage in AWS and GCP.…

Kohsuke Kawaguchi takes a swing at rampaging Jenkinsteins Jenkins, er, DevOps World kicked off in Nice this week as CloudBees took to the stage in front of 800 fans of the pipeline to show off some of the toys available to lucky devs.…

Switkowski: Write-downs are a financial, not political, decision Australia's National Broadband Network co-chairman, Ziggy Switkowski, has told a Senate Estimates hearing at the country's parliament in Canberra that he doesn't endorse a write-down of the company.…

Flashes AWS and Azure cloudification, ONTAP as cloud abstraction layer At its Las Vegas Insight event, NetApp was quick to assure customers they could have the public cloud and NetApp products both – and that indeed, the two are better together.…

That's right, the Lords' AI report was written by people with skin in the game Comment Unlike some of the people who invented it, the House of Lords AI Committee has "no doubts" AI will bring "tangible and practical deliverables" to the UK – if only the right sort of people use it.…

Snarking at vendors: Priceless An Australian government agency given AU$700,000 (just shy of US$500,000 or £380,000) to research applications of the blockchain has delivered its answer: don't bother. Anything you want to do with blockchain, you can already do better with existing technology.…

Preps mainframes, mid-range arrays, tape and cloud... and that's just to offload all this data IBM has fired a broadside of announcements at the storage world. The gist? Flash arrays get more capacity and NVMe-over-fabrics has been added to a slew of arrays using Fibre Channel to speed data access.…

Full fibre deployment shifts up a gear Privately-owned broadband biz CityFibre declared this morning that it would spend £2.5bn on building out full-fibre connections to British homes.…

Karan Puri just one of 36,000 staff to leave broken outsourcing biz in 18 months The boss of DXC Americas has been elbowed out of the door, an internal memo seen by The Register can confirm. The reason for his exit is believed to be a double-digit drop in the region's sales.…

Blind Bird tickets available NOW! If you want to get together with 40 of the smartest brains in modern software development, and save £100s into the bargain, you should grab a blind bird ticket for Continuous Lifecycle London 2019 before they expire.…

First mobe maker to sell DIY repair tools A 2014 Eurobarometer survey (PDF) found that 77 per cent of EU citizens would prefer to repair their electronics rather than buy new ones, but were put off by the cost quoted, and ended up replacing them anyway.…

Open sourcing BASIC for the kool kids Microsoft’s Small Basic broke out the jelly and ice cream today as the language celebrated its 10th birthday.…

'Zero touch' setup, Mac@IBM, lands at GitHub IBM wants to save Apple sysadmins from wearing out too much shoe leather visiting user desks so it's published its Mac@IBM system provisioning code at GitHub under the GNU Public Licence 3.0.…

English-mangle-word-zels – fresh from Reg whippernapper's garden Flame of the Week Have you ever uttered the sound "erm" while speaking? More to the point, have you ever erm'd when answering politicians' questions during a scrutiny panel session? If you have, says one Reg commentard, you are bastardising the English language. Oh yes.…

'Brexit and the election of Donald might be largely due to the use of data analytics' Not long after the US presidential election in November 2016, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg said it was "crazy" to think that Facebook ads swayed the vote. He was right, but only for supporters of Hillary Clinton.…

Let's hope this doesn't accidentally kick off a war AI can translate between languages in real time as people speak, according to fresh research from Chinese search giant Baidu and Oregon State University in the US.…

FireEye reckons it's fingered the operating behind nasty cyber-infection at industrial complex A malware infection at a Saudi petrochemical plant last year was likely the work of a Moscow-based research operation backed by the Russian government.…

Astroboffins baffled by mysterious repeat visitor 3200 Phaethon, a weird object that sends cosmic debris streaking through Earth's night skies during the Geminid meteor shower, is more puzzling than previously thought.…

Updates urged for serious web services vulnerabilities Companies running Arcserve Unified Data Protection to manage their backups and archives are being advised to update their software after bug hunters discovered four remotely exploitable security vulnerabilities.…

Meanwhile: Q3 sales slid downwards, profits pointing up Juniper Networks has confirmed its margins will be squeezed in 2019 by US President Donald Trump's tariffs on Chinese electronics and components coming into America.…

As in, Big Red: Database giant says this offering is a worldwide first OpenWorld Oracle today insisted it is the first public cloud vendor to offer bare-metal servers powered by AMD’s Epyc processors.…

It's all about location, location, location Facebook and Google are being sued in two proposed class-action lawsuits for allegedly deceptively gathering location data on netizens who thought they had opted out of such cyber-stalking.…

Boutique PC for middle managers, subscription hardware for creative pros As the Microsoft Surface juggernaut rolls on, there's added urgency to flogging premium PCs this autumn, with Intel's chip shortage affecting the lower end of the market, making premium sales more hotly contested.…

Language is still free, it's the support that will cost you plenty CodeOne The perennial Oracle OpenWorld sideshow previously known as JavaOne flowered again on Monday under a new name, Oracle Code One. The rebranding, as Stephen Chin, director of the Oracle developer community team, said in April, represents an effort to create a "bigger event that’s inclusive to more languages, technologies, and developer communities."…

These are not the vendors you're looking for, republicans suggest in demand for probe A pair of US congressmen are calling for an investigation into the Pentagon's $10bn single-vendor IT contract dubbed JEDI – aka the Joint Enterprise Defense Infrastructure.…

Oh, and many of the stereotypes of Gen Z are wrong A new survey of teenagers reveals that children from poorer households use the internet more than those from richer homes, upending a common assumption about our online lives.…

Cancer claims life of the poster child for computing excess Charles Wang, the cofounder of Computer Associates – latterly CA Technologies – has died of lung cancer at the age of 74, an attorney representing his family has confirmed.…

Three urgent changes Redmond must make to stop the QA crisis Comment Windows isn't working – and Microsoft urgently needs to change how it develops the platform, and jettison three filthy practices it has acquired in recent years.…

Three urgent changes Microsoft must make to stop the QA crisis Comment Windows isn't working – and Microsoft urgently needs to change how it develops the platform, and jettison three filthy practices it has acquired in recent years.…

Yeah, probably not, but dev previews are available now "Exodus" may be a fair description of HTC's customer base in recent years – once the reviewers' darling, it has fallen a long way. Earnings for the first half of 2018 were almost half the same period last year (PDF).…

All the node movers and shakers in Gartner's paranormal polygon Eight object and distributed file storage suppliers have shuffled positions in Gartner's annually updated Magic Quadrant for the sector – two new entrants, three promotions, two demotions and an exit.…

Vote to sell DVMT or swap the stock for a newly public Dell set for 11 December A fortnight before Christmas, investors in Dell Technologies tracking stock will finally get the opportunity to vote on whether to cash them in or swap them for a piece of the company when it goes public again.…

So fonts are funny and archives aren't ace but, hey, at least it isn't deleting files, right? The problems with the Windows 10 October 2018 Update just keep on rolling in as users complain of borked zip file extraction, broken fonts and iffy brightness controls.…

Chaebol says development is done and dusted Samsung Mobile (or at least a fan blog) has claimed development of its graphene battery technology is, er, all wrapped up, raising hopes of finding them in products soon.…

Carbon dating places it as oldest complete wreck A bunch of maritime archaeologists, scientists and surveyors have discovered at the bottom of the Black Sea what is thought to be the oldest intact shipwreck – at a whopping 2,400 years.…

Brit grocer says it shouldn't be held responsible for criminal actions of worker Morrisons has vowed to take its hack liability fight to the UK Supreme Court after failing to convince Court of Appeal judges it should not be held responsible for the actions of a rogue employee who leaked the supermarket's entire payroll via Tor.…

Can those who need lookup privacy afford architectural purism? The Internet Engineering Task Force (IETF) has formally adopted DNS-over-HTTPS as a standard, and reignited a debate over whether it's a danger to the web's infrastructure.…

The week in spaaaaaace Roundup A mission to Mercury, a mission to save Apollo and a mission to save face?…

Original Arm operating system relicensed under Apache 2.0 Not to be outdone by the open sourcing of an early version of MS-DOS for Intel chippery, version 5 of RISC OS – arguably the original commercially successful Arm operating system – is going fully open source.…

Seagate ships more units, WD more capacity – it's a wash IDC has sent its analytical read-write heads skipping across the surface of the disk storage market and found Seagate shipped more drives than Western Digital in the third quarter.…

One out of three correct dosages ain't bad, right? Right? Experts hope an artificially intelligent software system will help doctors tackle the deadly menace of sepsis in humans.…

New method could settle the question of how fast the universe is expanding Scientists agree that the universe is expanding at an increasing rate, but by exactly how much is still an enigma.…

Days since last TITSUP (Total Inability To Support Users' Pulls) reset to zero Programmers, your snow day is well and truly over: GitHub's website has finally cleared its 24-hour outage, and reckons everything is operating normally again.…

Does he mean some farm boy with just womp rat experience can destroy the whole thing? OpenWorld Oracle reckons it has “fundamentally” rebuilt its cloud architecture to boost security, promising full separation of customer software and cloud control code.…

Just don't let it restart to install updates... The classic “turn it off and turn it back on” strategy has worked once again for NASA, in that it may return the Hubble Space Telescope to active duty.…

And the updated code of conduct is now live, too Woke Linus Torvalds has returned from a four-week exile to once again steer the Linux kernel, the widely used software project he founded nearly 30 years ago.…

Flaw present for the past eight years, easy to exploit, and there are thousands of forks A serious vulnerability in a widely used, and widely forked, jQuery file upload plugin may have been exploited for years by hackers to seize control of websites – and is only now patched.…

Well, application revenues did rise a whopping six per cent, after all OpenWorld Oracle has kicked off the first day of its annual OpenWorld gabfest with a hard sell on applications – the chunk of the business that is, according to the latest figures, struggling the least.…

No sex, please, we're the Chocolate Factory Googlers must clean up their language at work as the ads giant is being anal about references to, ahem, carnal knowledge in internal web links and documents.…