The Register

We'll need to make deal by January 2019 Timing is everything: Quantum Corp is renegotiating a refinancing package that could, if not agreed, take the business down. At the same time, it is nearing the end of an accounting probe that has highlighted serious revenue recognition errors in multi-year results that will need to be rectified.…

Regulators set (provisional) date for ruling on buyout Microsoft will find out on 19 October if EU regulators wave through its $7.5bn acquisition of GitHub, according to a filing published today.…

Are we seeing the rise of a new era of media moguls? Salesforce supremo Marc Benioff and his wife are buying the US magazine Time for $190m, according to reports.…

I'll give you this Cool Thing™ if you nix that review for me Amazon is investigating reports that its retail employees are selling internal data and reviewers' email addresses to merchants that want to game the system.…

Northern NHS trust to scrap 300-plus relics by new year Leeds hospital is bragging about a major IT project that would set it apart from the wider NHS – it plans to "axe the fax" by the new year.…

No flight delays, miraculously* Bristol Airport deliberately yanked its flight screens offline for two days over the weekend in response to a cyberattack.…

Plus: Machine Learning for .NET, banks call time on Windows Phone, and more While a certain fruit-based company hogged much of the limelight last week by seeing just how much cash could be wrung from fanbois, Microsoft found itself in the spotlight of shame. But Edge-pleading and build-encrypting weren't the only things that happened in the world of Windows.…

Disciplinary action for healthcare workers complaining about patients, colleagues More than a thousand NHS staffers have been slapped down for their use of social media and apps since 2013, with some even posting about patients.…

Report fingers students and staff for academic cyber-attacks Who's hacking into university systems? Here's a clue from the UK higher education tech crew at Jisc: the attacks drop dramatically during summer break.…

Meanwhile, jocks in US Senate shove $1.275bn at field The UK Treasury has decided that £80m is perfectly sufficient to support quantum research – a quarter of a billion less than what was asked for.…

College should've stuck to departmental nomenclature Who, Me? Welcome once more to the world of Who, Me? – El Reg's weekly trip down memory lane with our dear readers.…

Nothing is secure, everything is hackable. Wisdom Comment It has never been easier to conduct a cyber attack. There now exists a range of off-the-shelf tools and services that do all the heavy lifting – you just need to pick an approach and tool you like best.…

School warns diversity can't be afterthought for digital economy The Makers Academy has opened a free coding course and apprenticeship scheme that it hopes will convince women to consider a career change as the tech sector's gender gap widens.…

And let security kit fail for 10 months due to bad cert Equifax was so unsure how much data had been stolen during its 2017 mega-hack that its IT staff spent weeks rerunning the hackers' database queries on a test system to find out.…

Project chief vows to learn to 'understand people’s emotions' after F-bomb explosions Linux kernel firebrand Linus Torvalds has apologized for his explosive rants, and vowed to take a break from the open-source project and seek help.…

It's the week's other machine-learning news Roundup Hello, here's a roundup tying up all the bits of AI news together for this week.…

Plus Grindr stalkers find a few good men illictly Roundup This was the week of ice cold exploits, re-appearing JavaScript nasties, and of course Patch Tuesday. A few other things happened too……

Exit sparks worst tendencies in anonymous rule-makers European Union bureaucrats are turning their namesake .eu top-level domain into a red-tape nightmare.…

Parallel projects just happen when the future is obvious NPM, keeper of the npm Registry and the software package management tool called npm that pulls JavaScript packages from said registry, is testing another sort of package manager called tink.…

Now that's poetic, Justicz: Update apk and images now An infosec bod has documented a remote-code execution flaw in Alpine Linux, a distro that pops up a lot in Docker containers.…

TImes get wet and windy – but bit barns keep on ticking Hurricane Florence has now landed on US soil, bringing 100 MPH winds, torrential rain, and claiming at least four lives. Many residents have fled, though some can’t – because they are keeping the area’s data centers up and running during the carnage.…

Meanwhile, Chrome 70 Beta rolls out dev and security goodies Google Chrome 70 arrived as a beta release on Thursday, bringing with it a handful of meaningful improvements and some more esoteric features of interest to developers.…

Meanwhile, Norks deny Sony hacker ever existed The US Treasury department is placing new sanctions on two IT companies it believes to be sending money to North Korea.…

Number of netizens in favor of the web drops, according to latest US study Society is slowing souring on the internet, according to the latest research by Pew.…

Uh, we'll be having that domain Amazon has got round to buying itself the domain AWS.com, 12 years after the cloudy behemoth as we know it today went live.…

Sidestepping them to be 'more productive' impresses no one Motorists tend to believe speed limits are a good idea and that everyone should stick to them. They know that when they break the limit the risk of an accident rises. But they also "know" that it is everyone else breaking the speed limit that pose the real danger.…

You'll eat our subs model... and our bottom line will expand. See how this works? Adobe, the maker of reassuringly expensive software for creative types that have limited tech alternatives, has again wrapped up another quarter of double-digit jumps in both the top and bottom lines.…

Open-source command line botherer says hi! to 1,900+ Windows modules, cmdlets Microsoft has toasted Amazon announcing Lambda support for Powershell Core 6 by, er, flinging out version 6.1 in order to tempt Windows Powershell users into the open-source world.…

Who happens to own The Washington Post newspaper Jeff Bezos, owner of the US Washington Post newspaper, has opined that it is "dangerous" for America's mop-haired 45th president Donald Trump to criticise the media.…

Co-CEO: 'We should have done a better job' Veeam has blamed "human error" for the exposure of a marketing database containing millions of names and email addresses.…

Station commander issues suitably withering response The whodunnit over the hole in one of the International Space Station's Soyuz lifeboats took a lurch for the surreal this week as reports in Russian media suggested a US astronaut may have deliberately drilled it so the crew could return home.…

Type declarations? What wizardry is this? As Ignite gets ever closer, Microsoft has unleashed a Release Candidate of the latest version of its jumped-up JavaScript, TypeScript.…

Join us in November to find out Events If you want to know how the likes of the BBC, Rovio and the financial sector have benefited from the next wave in cloud technology, you should join us in November at Serverless Computing London.…

Patched flaw hard to exploit, but serious once you get there, warn infoseccers Details of a locally exploitable but kernel-level flaw in Webroot's SecureAnywhere macOS security software were revealed yesterday, months after the bug was patched.…

No deal still 'unlikely' insists Whitehall. But here's some grim guidance anyway Nestled among the mass publication of no-deal guidance yesterday was the UK government's vision for the future of the Brit satellite and space programmes if the country falls out of the EU with no pact in March.…

Did our hero get the accolades he deserved? Did he @£$% On Call Friday is here again, bringing with it the ferreting for loose change to pay the beer bill – and, of course, On Call, our weekly column in which readers tell us how they dealt with a tech support drama.…

Expect things to stay much as they are Analysis The great techno-utopian fantasy for years has been that eSIMs will destroy mobile networks' lock on customers – allowing real-time switching. The phone would tune into the best signal.…

... and displayed the results for everyone to see Something for the Weekend, Sir? Tech-enhanced tourism can be tough on your testicles.…

No concessions, no compromises – it's the only way Comment The enterprise is filling up with devices. Gone are the days when the only IT kit our staff used was phones, printers, scanners, desktop PCs, and servers that were bought, configured, installed, and maintained by our IT team.…

Hardware hackers bring cold boot attacks out of the deep freeze Video If you can steal someone's laptop, leave it switched on in sleep mode, crack it open, hook up some electronics to alter settings in the BIOS firmware, restart it, and boot into a custom program... you can swipe crypto keys and other secrets from the system.…

Of course, it's huge sun flares, Chinese spying, or ALIENS The mysterious shutdown and evacuation of a solar research laboratory, tucked away in a forest in New Mexico, USA, has sent the internet abuzz with a flurry of conspiracy theories.…

Infection gives you the runs – and the ability to produce power Scientists have discovered that a type of stomach bug contracted from unpasteurized dairy or raw meat can produce electricity.…

I was born in 1518... we mean.. machine learning-driven caching speedup Qumulo says improvements in its QF2 software means its products will run faster – 20 per cent faster than Dell EMC Isilon boxes by one measure.…

Ya, we're in the hybrid cloud, data management game now Near-hyperconverged system startup Datrium has gained $60m in D-round funding.…

Near-doubling of video workflow streaming speed Quantum is near-doubling StorNext speed by using Excelero’s NVMESH to provide faster data access than it’s capable of providing on its own.…

Low-end SAN/DAS boxen aimed at smaller biz Dell EMC's new PowerVault ME4 Series has been tailored for small and medium businesses – apparently installable in 15 minutes, configurable in 15 more, and usable as either SAN array or direct-attached PowerEdge server storage.…

Plans to open source app, server-side code-fixing tool Facebook may have to hire people to police the content coursing through its social network, but software looks to be sufficient to hunt down bugs in its mobile app code.…

GAO report on tribal land may open up rigged system A report by the US Government Accountability Office (GAO) has confirmed what others have reported for years: that official data on internet access across the country greatly over estimates availability and competition.…

Bloke copped to $25m spear-phishing shenanigans A Nigerian scumbag will be spending the next five years in an American clink after pleading guilty to operating an email phishing scam targeting businesses around the world.…

Campaign to rid programming of hurtful words finds a sequel in noSQL database project The open-source Redis database, like the Python programming language, is moving away from using the technical terms "master" and "slave" in its documentation and API – to the extent that's possible without breaking things.…