The Register

EPYC chips nibble bits off Xeon's x86 revenue share Semiconductor-pokers at Mercury Research have crunched the numbers to chart AMD's resurgence against Intel's virtual x86 server CPU monopoly.…

Managed Disks? Pick a size, any size... There was more to Microsoft last week than the launch of a little brother for the Surface Pro. Here are some of the stories you may have missed amid the fondleslab furore.…

Next goal: Beat pro players at The International OpenAI’s machine learning bots have beaten another team of semi-professionals in Dota 2, in their second public match in the traditional five-versus-five settings.…

Not a great day for the n00b to power off the servers in a remote location Who, Me? Monday, bloody Monday. If you haven't quite recovered from the weekend, just thank your lucky stars there aren’t any major global diplomatic events to tangle with today.…

What else is gong on in infosec this week... Roundup This week we took a close look at Google security keys, bid adieu to Facebook's head security honcho, and had a few email credentials overshared by Atlassian.…

Your quick weekend guide to various goings-on in the machine-learning world Roundup Hello, here's a quick roundup of all the mini announcements happening in the world of AI. Raspberry Pi now supports TensorFlow, so you can start your own machine learning projects on the tiny computer. Waymo is beginning to wedge its way into the public transport system in Arizona.…

It's all thanks to that subversive dissident Winnie the Pooh They may have mown down their own students with real tanks but what really scares the Chinese government is a stuffed, furry bear with a red tank top.…

Black Hat, DEF CON and Bsides come to Nevada About a quarter of a century ago, a handful of hackers decided to have a party in a cheap hotel, and had a whale of a time.…

Black Hat, DEF CON and Bsides come to Nevada About a quarter of a century ago, a handful of hackers decided to have a party in a cheap hotel, and had a whale of a time.…

Building blocks for messaging, phone services offered to talent-starved organizations San Francisco's developer-oriented messaging infrastructure service Twilio aims to make creating communications apps a bit easier – with the launch of Twilio Studio, a visual application builder that just graduated from beta status.…

Chatty, friendly bots more likely to be unplugged – study Poll People are more likely to comply with a robot's impassioned pleas to keep it switched on when the droid has previously been impersonal, than when it's been overly friendly.…

While Alibaba dips a tentative toe in the challenger pool Gartner's magic quadrant rating public cloud storage suppliers has suggested Amazon is losing ground while Google and Microsoft make gains.…

Android version of super-game will come direct from Epic The maker of super-hit Fortnite has snubbed Google by deciding to release the Android version of the video game through its own website rather than the Google Play app store.…

Firmware update tackles remote code bugs in InkJet machines HP Inc has posted an update to address a pair of serious security vulnerabilities in its InkJet printers.…

NEC cavorts with 5G, Arita finds its Mojo, and much more Over at the Internet Engineering Task Force, a notorious piece of history is being consigned to... well, history.…

Hundreds of jobs to go Symantec has announced plans to slash 8 per cent of its global workforce in response to disappointing sales.…

Hyperconverger's cloud services parts to get Framed Hyperconverged player Nutanix has agreed to buy Frame, a supplier of desktop apps-as-a-service, for an undisclosed sum.…

Signup for Byte Night and start raising cash now If you can’t sleep because of the heat, we’ve got a surefire to take your mind off it - join 100s of your industry peers in October on the chilly cobbles of a town near you and raise money for Action for Children’s annual Byte Night sleep out.…

Even the file names exposed sensitive info, claim researchers Exclusive Online medical consultation service iCliniq left thousands of medical documents in a publicly accessible Amazon Web Services S3 bucket.…

Alexa! Are you part of a botnet? The US Federal Bureau of Investigation has offered advice on securing Internet of Things devices to prevent "Cyber Actors" using your garage door for nefarious purposes.…

Flashes next-gen unit to compete with FlashBlade box The clash of the million-dollar AI titans resumes. NetApp has designed an ONTAP AI architecture based on its topline A800 flash array and Nvidia DGX-1 to try to win fat-pocketed customers away from Pure and Nvidia's AIRI AI system-in-a-box.…

£1.7m tax on profits of £72.4m thanks to a surging share price Box-slinging cloud botherer Amazon unveiled some impressive results for its UK tentacle last year, and some even more impressive tax efficiencies.…

Investigatory Powers Commissioner urged to act on mobile data extraction tech The UK's snooping watchdog has been urged to investigate whether the country's coppers have a legal basis to suck up mobile phone data – or if it would constitute state hacking.…

Pen and paper brought back into service A ransomware infection has cast the Alaskan borough of Matanuska-Susitna (Mat-Su) back to the dark ages.…

Says support biz invoking 'stale' split, has no other backers Oracle has said support biz Rimini Street is invoking a "shallow and stale" circuit court split that doesn't merit the Supreme Court's attention in a bid to claw back cash it isn't owed.…

There’s an AI cure for the summertime blues We’ve extended our early bird ticket offer for MCubed, so whether you’ve just come back from hols or are about to get off, you can still save big on our AI and machine learning extravaganza.…

Mischievous techie tells of printing woes soothed by kind words On-Call Friday has come around once more, which means we at El Reg get to regale you, dear reader, with tech support tales of the great and good in our weekly On-Call column.…

Nobody knows what these rare speedy electromagnetic spurts really are The Canadian Hydrogen Intensity Mapping Experiment, a powerful radio telescope, has detected the first low-frequency fast radio burst, a class of rare extragalactic emissions of an unknown origin.…

What the fsck is wrong with people... judging from this study If you want your robot to be abused, do as The Rolling Stones suggest and paint it black. Also, make it female.…

Eta Carinae's Big Eruption might yet go supernova Eta Carinae is one the strangest star systems in space. When it exploded in the 19th century, it became the second brightest star in the sky. Now, scientists studying "light echoes" have found that it was also the fastest non-fatal outburst of any star system.…

Price rises lead to 'difficult discussions' with customers Another network vendor has had its financials dented by component shortages: this time, it's Arris.…

Take heart, readers, this can't go on forever ... can it? Settle in and take you seats, Rocky Nine is about to begin filming, in the form of another round of litigation between Arista and Cisco.…

Hacker slips CoinHive code onto network appliances Researchers have found thousands of MikroTik network routers in Brazil serving up crypto-coin-crafting CoinHive code.…

Hacking conf's Moss heads off HOPE headaches DEF CON The organizers of the DEF CON hacking conference, due to be held in Las Vegas, USA, next week, have put those who intend to spoil the event on warning: such tactics will not be tolerated.…

Darktrace claims to have seen the future – and it's awful Some time in the near future, you may go to a parking kiosk and rather than be presented with a $5 fee request, get confronted with low-res porn images.…

Logins misdirected to wrong boxes by Jira toolkit Exclusive Atlassian has warned users of its Jira Service Desk toolkit to change their helpdesk email account passwords – after a glitch caused the credentials to be sent to strangers' servers.…

Google-backed language seeps into Android apps, improves programming craftmanship Kotlin, which Google blessed last year as an alternative to Java for programming Android apps, has already made its way into almost 12 per cent of open source Android apps, and in so doing has elevated their code quality.…

Exploit contest opened for tykes – meanwhile, Republicans kill new funding for election security DEF CON Last year, the hackers at DEF CON showed how shockingly easy it was to crack into voting machine software and hardware. Next week, the 2018 conference's Vote Hacking Village will let kids have a shot at subverting democracy.…

Legal letters, Whois no longer good for obtaining HTTPS certs Lawyers will no longer be allowed to certify someone's ownership of an internet domain name, and the public Whois no longer represents proof of ownership, when it comes to assigning security certificates to site owners.…

He'll almost certainly get more than a three-hour tour after DDoS strike on medics A self-styled Anonymous hacker who attempted to flee the US in a sailboat has been convicted of two felonies for his role in a 2014 distributed denial-of-service (DDoS) attack on a children's hospital.…

SaaSy Pelion will try to make sense of terabytes of data from anywhere to anywhere Arm – the designer of processors used in billions of gadgets, smartphones, and other devices – has launched a new Internet-ofThings platform that it claims will be able to handle any data from any device on any cloud.…

New Pelion platform will make sense of terabytes of data from anywhere to anywhere Chipmaker AMD has launched a new internet-of-things platform that it claims will be able to handle any data from any device on any cloud.…

Switchzilla slurps trusted access into cloud to make it rain Cisco has announced plans to buy privately held authentication firm Duo Security for $2.35bn (£1.80bn).…

5 lucky readers - and their pals - are off to Great British Beer Festival Competition It’s competition winner time at Vulture Central as we announce the five lucky readers destined to receive free tickets to the CAMRA Great British Beer Festival.…

Plus: Ofcom report reveals demise of the phone-call Communications revenues in the UK reached their lowest point in 2017, falling 2.1 per cent to £54.7bn, while people are ditching calls and texts for over-the-top messaging, according to Ofcom.…

Alex Stamos's replacement not yet announced Facebook chief security officer Alex Stamos is leaving the social network to work on information warfare at Stanford University. The social network has not named any replacement.…

Acquisition-happy services slinger to become inky tentacle of globocorp HP Inc. has announced that is acquiring UK-based managed print and document services slinger Apogee in a $500m (£380m) deal.…

Battle of database rivals fuelled by reports marketplace monster is flying off Big Red Amazon is reportedly planning to stop relying on cloud rival Oracle’s database software entirely by early 2020.…

Hint...buy now, join us in November Whether you’re contemplating a ground-up tech transformation or are looking at how to extend a stretched but essentially sound legacy system, Serverless is going to be on your agenda - whether you realise it right now or not.…

Review sites? Who needs 'em! Fanbois need never leave the App Store again Apple extended a corporate middle finger toward its army of fanbois as it announced the death of apps in the iTunes Affiliate Program yesterday.…