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Somewhat counterintuitively, dull kitchen knives are more dangerous than sharp ones, as they’re more likely to slip off the side of whatever you’re cutting, and go into your hand.

Tommy John surgery—which Angels pitcher/DH Shohei Ohtani is supposed to receive, per a team announcement today—will steal a whole year from a dominant hurler in his prime. But UCL damage won’t necessarily hold back a good hitter. And luckily for all of us, what could be devastating news for any other pitcher in…Read more...

The Wall Street Journal reported yesterday that the U.S. Department of Justice is conducting a probe into how the FBI mismanaged its investigation into sexual abuse allegations made against former Michigan State and USA Gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar. Thiis comes after the FBI conducted its own internal review into…Read more...

As a hitter, Shohei Ohtani has seemed pretty dang healthy since returning to the Angels lineup from a UCL sprain in his throwing elbow in July. As a pitcher, however, he was kept off the mound for nearly three months while undergoing a non-surgical rehab program. When he returned last weekend, he only got seven outs…Read more...

Until this afternoon, longtime Cincinnati Reds star Brandon Phillips hadn’t seen major-league action in almost a year. The 37-year-old former all-star signed with the Red Sox in June after spending a rather anonymous 2017 season on the Braves and Angels. Phillips has spent the season with Triple-A Pawtucket, passing…Read more...

At the grand slams—Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon, and U.S. Open—men play best-of-five set matches, and these matches are often too long. (Men play best of three sets at all other tournaments, except the Davis Cup.) At Wimbledon this year, John Isner and Kevin Anderson played for more than six hours in their…Read more...

We see a lot of deals around the web over on Kinja Deals, but these were our ten favorites today.Read more...

It’s just a few days before the Steelers’ season starts, but running back Le’Veon Bell’s holdout is still going. His absence from team meetings today pretty much guarantees he won’t play in Week 1 (which is probably his plan, to avoid as much wear and tear on his body as he can—say, another 400-touch season—to…Read more...

I didn’t think I could be surprised by much these days. But that, it turns out, was a mistake. On a day filled with congressional dick measuring contests, bloated vanity lawsuits, and pathetically weak calls for civility from a cadre of southern gentlemen, it’s this New York Times opinion piece that actually made my…Read more...

All-Pro Seahawks safety Earl Thomas has been holding out for a contract extension this offseason, and the team has been unwilling to meet his demand that it either pay him what he’s worth or trade him to a team that will. Thomas is and has long been one of the best safeties in the game, and he’s still in his prime,…Read more...

In 2015, Time Inc., the listing titan of 20th-century publishing, bought FanSided—a network of more than 300 sport- and team-centric blogs producing the sort of easily digestible and SEO-friendly posts that exist purely to show up near the top in Google searches—and attached it to their legacy publication, Sports…Read more...

There was one close one—a fourth-round victory over Aryna Sabalenka that took her all three sets—but beyond that, the U.S. Open has been one continuous bloodbath for Naomi Osaka, the 20-year-old No. 20 seed. These are massacres on the order of Rafael Nadal carving up Roland Garros. Three times, she’s devoured her…Read more...

Moses Ali is the 79-year-old first deputy prime minister of Uganda. He is also enormously fat and wildly unathletic. Following in the footsteps of another politician who possessed a considerable girth and a dearth of athleticism, Ali embarrassed himself while trying to execute a routine physical motion at the Ugandan…Read more...

These days, our inboxes are crawling with spam, far beyond the stuff that makes it past the actual designated ‘spam’ folder. There are the newsletters we swear we’ve already unsubscribed from, the creepily personal messages from politicians, the desperate pleas for attention from Facebook, and now, thanks to the…Read more...

The 39-year-old version of Adrian Beltre has more hamstring injuries and isn’t as powerful as his previous iterations, but when he connects on a pitch, it sounds lovely. And regardless of his age, the Rangers third baseman will always have the same reaction when someone tries to touch his head.Read more...

Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

CHICAGO! Chi-Town! Chicagoland! The Windy City! The Second City! Mrs. O’Leary’s Fire Pit! Wrigleyville! Caponetown! Murder Capital Of The Conservative Imagination! The Big Witch’s Tit! Guess what, Chicago: We’re coming to YOU.

Metal Gear wants the player to fail. The game’s rough edges are part of the growing pains of an early genre, but taken in the context of the entire Metal Gear series, these challenges also feel like horrifying defense mechanisms. As Solid Snake infiltrates Outer Heaven, the player intrudes upon the game’s world.…Read more...

David Beckham’s Mosaic trek through the American sports grifter desert as he seeks to realize his MLS team ownership dream has come another step closer to reality. We now know what to call this allegedly imminent franchise, and it’s a name as nauseatingly cosplayish as we’ve come to expect:Read more...

It wasn’t just thousands of Browns fans that braved single-degree temperatures in January for the “Perfect Season Parade” after the Browns went 0-16 in 2017. There were a smattering of Steelers fans who came to point and laugh—all they can do for what was once one of the NFL’s great rivalries. There were a few Buffalo…Read more...

Many many years ago, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Rajon Rondo were coworkers in Boston. Doc Rivers was their coach. They won the 2008 NBA championship together; then, later, some of them went on to work in other places. Some of them don’t really like each other. They don’t all come to each others’ life…Read more...

Anyone who organizes a tennis tournament that involves Roger Federer should be concerned when this sentence comes out of that man’s mouth, as it did Monday night, while discussing the conditions of his match:

Sneaker culture is an impenetrable and occasionally confusing fortress of young men and strong opinions; to the untrained eye, a sneaker is a sneaker is a sneaker. Today, though, I think it’s safe to say that these new LeBrons—designed by women, for women—are objectively hideous.Read more...

Steelers star running back Le’Veon Bell skipped the entirety of training camp for the second year in a row, and with good reason. He’s been one of the best players in the league for almost his entire career, and the Steelers have refused to reward him with a longterm contract, instead choosing to use the franchise tag…Read more...

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Mariners outfielder Dee Gordon and shortstop Jean Segura fought in the locker room before Tuesday’s game, according to reports, as a half-dozen teammates players tried to pull them apart. It started, as locker room fights are wont to do, with one of the fighters politely asking media members to stand outside the…Read more...

For one day only, Amazon’s running a wide-ranging sale on PC accessories and storage devices, from a variety of name brand manufacturers.

Mike Scioscia has mostly protected Shohei Ohtani from lefty pitchers during his rookie season. Partly this is because the lefty-lefty matchup is often brutal for hitters; partly it’s because Albert Pujols is still kicking around, and is capable of taking those DH plate appearances and doing some damage; and partly…Read more...

Despite a broken nose, some poor early shooting, and a terrifyingly talented underdog opponent that wouldn’t give up, Seattle Storm point guard Sue Bird became absolutely deadly when it mattered most. Tonight, in the deciding game of their semifinal, Bird buried the Phoenix Mercury with just a flat-out disgusting…Read more...

In Monday’s Mets game against the Dodgers, New York third baseman Todd Frazier made what initially looked to be a spectacular over-the-railing grab on Alex Verdugo. According to the umpire and the official box score, that’s exactly what Frazier did. But a crafty investigation by SNY’s Steve Gelbs has revealed today…Read more...

Hey, remember when the oven-baked ham in chief called NFL players who protest institutional racism and police brutality during pregame national anthem ceremonies sons of bitches, and said they should be fired? Remember how he’s humped that issue relentlessly, using it to lather up the worst dregs of his, uhh,…Read more...

White Sox first baseman José Abreu hasn’t played in a couple weeks, a result of an ambiguous outpatient “lower abdominal surgery” he reportedly underwent on August 20. Hernioplasty? Appendectomy? A testicle that twisted around and became tangled up in its own [passes out cold]:Read more...

Young Kansas City Royals outfielder Brett Phillips became intimately acquainted with the right-center field wall in Cleveland tonight, taking a scary bump at full speed as he tried to chase down a Jose Ramirez hit. Phillips was looked at by the training staff, but despite the apparent brutality of the collision, he…Read more...

The New York Post has obtained a letter written by the former papa of Papa John’s pizza—“Papa” John Schnatter—alleging that a group of executives at the company have engaged in “frat club”–level behavior on the job and gotten away with it for years.

After four months, the external investigative team hired to look into multiple accounts of coaching abuse at Brandeis University determined that former men’s basketball head coach Brian Meehan’s abusive behavior did indeed go on unimpeded by athletic department and university leadership for years, as first reported by…Read more...

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It’s a question that has plagued all of us for quite some time now: If you put every positive football play Bills starting quarterback Nathan Peterman has ever made into a single video, would the video even be a minute long? We have the answer now.

L.L. Bean narrowly edged past AmazonBasics to ascend the porcelain throne as our readers’ favorite toiletry bag, but we’re curious: what would you change about it? What features would you like to see in a toiletry bag that you haven’t been able to find? Drop your suggestions in the comments below.

Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, No. 1 Central…Read more...

The San Diego Padres have been out of contention since—well, since 2011, so it makes sense that the team would have nothing more interesting going on in September than a Fortnite-adjacent kerfuffle involving a player and his manager.

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking about exes, salt grinders, eating dinosaurs, and more.

A small town in Devon, England called Ilfracombe decorated its Capstone Hill with a bicycle made out of recycled plastic and other materials, to celebrate both the Tour de Britain, which is happening right now, and the region’s efforts to reduce the use of plastic. Then some vandals went and turned the big bike into a…Read more...

Kerry Perry, we hardly knew ya. This is mostly because in the nine months that you were in charge of USA Gymnastics, you avoided the media like it was the plague and you had a high deductible health insurance plan. But just because Perry, who was asked to resign by USAG’s board on Tuesday, never really said hello…Read more...

Pick a handful of points at random from Roger Federer’s fourth-round U.S. Open loss to John Millman and you are liable to find some extremely un-Federer moments. Maybe he lines up a backhand slice only for the ball to drip to the ground two feet away. Maybe he shanks a routine overhead into the net, or goofs the…Read more...

The most repulsive thing at the U.S. Open this weekend wasn’t John Millman’s shirt or Tennys Sandgren’s personality, but this chicken tender dipped into a soda by a woman in the stands. Fox 5 found Alexa Greenfield, the bold flavor revolutionary (or gross weirdo, depending on your worldview) and got an explanation.Read more...

Last summer, I received the first of a string of emails from Joseph Blaine, a man who wanted to share his story with me: despite his lack of medical training, in the decade before Roe v. Wade, he provided illegal abortions. “I am most eager to confess,” Blaine’s first email read, “just how bad it was, with infections,…Read more...

Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Colin Kaepernick is the new face of a Nike ad campaign. As you might imagine, this has really angered the type of people who have said, “I’m a Christian first, and a conservative second” out loud at the dinner table. And if there’s one thing you can expect from these people, it’s that they will go about expressing…Read more...

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