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In the 89th minute of the Confederations Cup semifinal between Mexico and Germany, Mexico substitute Marco Fabián, while standing midway between the halfway line and the penalty box, received a pass off a free kick, stepped up to the ball, and clobbered the hell out of it.Read more...

For the 104th time in history, a horde of bird-shaped dudes will climb onto their bikes, ride circles around France, and finish in Paris even more bird-shaped than when they started. Yes, the Tour de France starts this weekend in Germany (we’ll get to that) and will track a 3,540-kilometer course south from Düsseldorf…Read more...

Red Sox starter Rick Porcello seems to have been body-snatched. After winning the AL Cy Young last year, Porcello has now allowed four or more runs 10 times this season, which, per The Boston Globe’s Alex Speier, leads the majors. His ERA is an unsightly 5.06, and opponents are hitting .309 against him, up from .228…Read more...

Lionel Messi is getting married to his longtime partner and the mother of his two children, Antonella Roccuzzo, on Friday in their hometown of Rosario, Argentina. The wedding is every bit the lavish extravaganza you’d expect from the rich and famous, and Messi and co. have ensured the event will be duly covered.

Li Haotong bogeyed the par-3 11th hole at the French Open today, and in a moment of frustration snapped his putter over his knee and tossed it into a nearby water hazard. A little later, while Li was playing the 13th hole, his mother went into the lake to retrieve the putter:

Donald Trump tweeted something very unkind about one of the hosts of a stupid-ass worthless morning cable news politics show. Oh no. The Republicans, they are very disappointed.

For the first time in Dota 2 history, there will be no defending champion at this year’s International (barring the very first).Read more...

Las Vegas Fox station KVVU’s Ted Pretty found himself assigned to fireworks-biz coverage yesterday afternoon, and the meteorologist’s interaction with a back-talking young boy made the clip an internet sensation. It’s all a setup, of course; that’s Pretty’s son doing the ownage, as is made pretty obvious by the…Read more...

Jimmy Butler held his introductory press conference up in Minnesota this morning, and when he was asked about rumors of his discontent in Chicago, he waved it off and encouraged anyone who wanted to to hit him up. “My phone’s in my back pocket,” he said, “773-899-6071.”Read more...

A pigeon briefly disrupted a Wimbledon qualifying match Tuesday between Amandine Hesse and Miyu Kato. Hesse swatted at the invader with her racket and a ball boy chased after it, trying to scare it off the court. Unperturbed, the pigeon alighted briefly on the net, before heading to a tree next to the court.Read more...

Thirty years ago The Untouchables, Brian De Palma’s most commercial movie to that point, was released and helped launch Kevin Costner as an All-American star. This review by Pauline Kael originally appeared in The New Yorker and appears here with permission from the author’s estate.

No matter how you spin it, some guys are faster than others. Newly released data from MLB’s Statcast give us a new depth of insight into just how quickly one can get from A to B, and just how much that matters. (It does; it’s not all that does.)

While it lacks the brand recognition of the Fitbit Aria, this $30 smart scale can still sync your weight, body fat, and other stats to your phone over Bluetooth so you can track your measurements over time. And if you own an iPhone, it’ll even sync to the Health app, so you can integrate the stats with tons of other…Read more...

Here’s Floyd Mayweather getting in some work.

Porto and Benfica are the two biggest clubs in Portuguese soccer, and as such harbor a fierce rivalry. There is no step these clubs wouldn’t take in their never ending struggle to best the other. Including, according to Porto’s communications director, resorting to witchcraft.Read more...

Nothing like an idle summer day spent swimming in the bay with friends. But it’s not a truly memorable hang until a small shark shows up to send everyone scurrying back to the docks, followed by some dude just deciding to dive in and grab the little beast:Read more...

Aaron Judge, the Yankees’ extremely large tater-masher, mashed his 27th tater of the year against the White Sox last night. If you pay close attention to this video of the dinger being donged, you’ll notice Judge staring into the right-field stands as he rounds first base:

The Houston Rockets officially announced their acquisition of Chris Paul at a press conference yesterday, and GM Daryl Morey was pretty explicit about what the team’s goals are for next season. Trading for Paul might just be the beginning.

Former Breitbart tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos is scheduled to publish his book Dangerous next Tuesday, on Independence Day. Ahead of that release Gizmodo has obtained a copy of the finished book, as well as the January draft previously leaked to Buzzfeed. Maybe “the most controversial book of the decade” was intended…Read more...

Whether you’re filling tires or firing pneumatic tools, this 4.5 star-rated Bostitch electric pancake compressor is a great addition to any garage, and you can pick it up for $99 in today’s Gold Box. That’s $70 less than usual, and the best price Amazon’s ever listed.

The Angels achieved perhaps the weirdest sort of walk-off win tonight—the walk-off strikeout, pushing them to a 3-2 win over the Dodgers in the ninth inning.Read more...

It’s a little after midnight out in Indiana on this fine Wednesday night, and Jim Irsay has tweeted an extremely graphic picture of a nude woman.Read more...

An idiot on the field in tonight’s Diamondbacks-Cardinals game bumped into St. Louis shortstop Paul DeJong before being swarmed by several security guards and tackled to the ground. While footage of the interaction with DeJong did not immediately seem to have been captured and shared by any intrepid fans—Fox Sports…Read more...

In U.S. Open Cup action, second-tier clubs Miami FC and FC Cincinnati each played one of the biggest games of their existence. Miami took on newly formed MLS side Atlanta United, while Cincy battled the second-place MLS Chicago Fire—and both came up winners.Read more...

The Chicago Cubs visited the White House today to take a few pictures and hear some good conversation. In one of those pictures, outfielder Albert Almora Jr. looked as if he may have kind of, sort of vaguely been flipping the bird to the whole enterprise:Read more...

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette has the harrowing account of umpire John Tumpane’s afternoon near the Pirates’ stadium on the Roberto Clemente Bridge, where he came across a woman who climbed over the railing and wanted to jump off.Read more...

Klay Thompson has enjoyed more on his trip to China than just rim-checking himself to hell. He also enjoyed at least one night of being extremely hype at a club of some sort, showing off some pretty creative moves and seemingly not caring at all about what anyone else might think:Read more...

Stephen Vogt has found a new home in Milwaukee since Oakland let him go, and he would have had a fantastic first start as a Brewer if it weren’t for a Spider-Man impression by Reds right fielder Scott Schebler, who climbed the fence to make a catch so unlikely it even psyched out the announcer:Read more...

The Canadian legal system has reached a conclusion in the Great Beer-Throwing Incident of the 2016 American League Wild Card game.Read more...

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Joe Budden sucks now but he didn’t always.Read more...

With the 27th pick in the 2014 NBA Draft, the Phoenix Suns selected Serbian guard Bogdan Bogdanovic (not to be confused with Wizards forward Bojan Bogdanovic or famed Serbian architect Bogdan Bogdanovic). Three years later, Bogdanovic is finally coming to play in the NBA, reportedly agreeing a three-year, $36 million…Read more...

After a lively though scoreless 120 minutes of Confederations Cup soccer between Portugal and Chile, the South Americans advanced to the final on penalty kicks thanks in part to Claudio Bravo but mostly to Portugal’s penalty takers, who were shockingly bad.Read more...

Is seven years too long to keep a pair of underwear?

On Jan. 20, at a press conference at Baltimore Ravens headquarters, Zach Orr delivered some sobering news: An MRI after a neck injury a month earlier revealed that Orr’s C1 vertebra at the top of his spinal cord was not fully formed. Just five months ahead of his 25th birthday, only three seasons into a promising pro…Read more...

Marcus Willis, the 26-year-old British tennis player who made a surprise run through last year’s Wimbledon qualifying but lost to Roger Federer in the tournament’s main draw—and is probably best known for drinking soda and noshing on a candy bar during a match—is one win away from making the main draw at Wimbledon…Read more...

The Rockets swung a pretty huge trade to land Chris Paul from the Clippers this morning, but to make everything work on the money side, they’ve had to flip a few other deals to get non-guaranteed contracts to send to L.A. and elsewhere. That sound you hear? It’s the drip-drip of new Rockets arriving, and we’ve got…Read more...

Words: They’re so pesky. You might be reading this right now while thinking, Why should I have to move my eyes to understand the stuff on the screen? It’s truly unfair. Can’t there be a better way? Good news: Jamie Horowitz, the media executive who brought you ESPN’s Embrace Debate era and assembled Fox Sports’…Read more...

Gael Monfils, one of the great entertainers in tennis, had a respectable run in the French Open until he ran into Stan Wawrinka. But enough with clay. On to a new surface and new challenges to be conquered, like Wimbledon, or hitting this person in the butt:

Now that Chris Paul has left for Houston, Doc Rivers faces an incredibly difficult task. J.J. Redick is reportedly out the door, and if the Clippers don’t re-sign Blake Griffin, they will suddenly be very bad. Don’t worry though. Austin Rivers is here to save the day.

The Chicago Cubs are in D.C. to play the Nationals tonight, and many members of the team traveled to the White House to visit Donald Trump this morning. This was not a traditional post-championship visit—the Cubs went to the White House while Barack Obama was in office after winning the World Series—but rather an…Read more...

Canadian rider Antoine Duchesne‏ was one of the last cuts from Direct Energie’s Tour de France team. The team decided not to bring sprinter Brian Coquard, which made Duchesne’s role on the team somewhat unnecessary. All that training for nothing is a huge bummer, especially because Duchesne turned his legs into…Read more...

Women remain a minority in the esports industry, but they have always been a presence in competitive gaming scenes. Compete’s video team interviewed four female esports experts about their successes, their struggles, and their different takes on competitive gaming’s gender disparity.Read more...

Sports Illustrated’s Brian Burnsed published a lengthy profile of former Washington running back Clinton Portis today, which tells the story of Portis’s tumultuous post-NFL career life, and all the medical and financial ruin he has gone through to finally find steady ground. In his playing days, Portis lived a…Read more...

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus held that the universe is in a constant state of change. His nation went on to produce lots of yogurt, which is always changing, as well.Read more...

There was never anything particularly special about the Triangle offense. It was just another offense, even in its heyday.

Michigan receiver Grant Perry pleaded guilty to one count of resisting a police officer and one misdemeanor count of assault and battery Wednesday, according to the Lansing State Journal.Read more...

Get your exercise on with up to 50% off select styles during New Balance’s Semi-Annual Sale. Everything you need to look like you care about working out is marked down, with over 1,000 styles included. From sneakers to t-shirts to bags to hold all your stuff, with prices as low as $8.

Adrian Wojnarowski has blessed this slow Wednesday morning with a Woj bomb: Chris Paul is being traded to the Houston Rockets. What?!

Nearly three decades after 96 soccer fans were suffocated, trampled or crushed to death at Hillsborough stadium during the 1989 FA Cup semifinal match between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest, six people have had criminal charges brought against them for roles played in the disaster and its coverup.Read more...