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Updated 2025-07-14 12:00
Jordan Bone's Draft Party Went From Tragic To Joyful In A Flash
As this video of undrafted Fred VanVleet that made the rounds last night showed, there are at least some NBA draft parties that fizzle out before anyone can enjoy the ecstatic release they all came for, and it looked like Tennessee standout Jordan Bone’s party was headed that way as the draft wound down on Thursday…Read more...
Bol Bol Heads To Denver Nuggets After Agonizing Draft Night Slide
Extremely fun one-and-done Oregon prospect Bol Bol showed up to Thursday night’s NBA draft decked out in a black suit featuring a garish sequined spider web on the left shoulder, smiling and optimistic and looking forward to being drafted somewhere in the lottery. His night ended with him gloomily trudging to the…Read more...
Celtics Draft Outspoken Round-Earther, Move One Step Closer To Post-Kyrie Irving Future
The Boston Celtics used the 22nd pick in the first round of Thursday night’s NBA draft to select first-team All-American Grant Williams from Tennessee. Williams is a skilled, undersized forward and the son of a NASA safety engineer. I mention his parentage because being privy to mom’s insider knowledge of space and…Read more...
The Wizards, Still Operating Without A GM, Drafted A Guy They'd Neither Met Nor Spoken To
The Washington Wizards selected Gonzaga big man Rui Hachimura with the No. 9 pick in NBA Draft. The pick was a bit of a surprise given that there hadn’t been any reports of any connections between that franchise and their eventual draftee. As it turns out, that surprise extended all the way to the player as well.
Here Are The Lottery Picks Of The 2019 NBA Draft
The saddest teams in the NBA have gone ahead and taken prospects they hope can lead their franchise into next year’s tank when they race for whoever 2020's best college player will be. Here are the lottery picks of 2019.Read more...
RJ Barrett Self-Diagnoses Terminal Kobe Brain After Being Drafted By Knicks
The Knicks got their man with the third* pick in the 2019 NBA Draft, selecting Duke one-and-done prospect R.J. Barrett. Knicks fans in the crowd went nuts as soon as the pick was announced, signaling their approval in no uncertain terms. Barrett, a Canadian, is a slick wing with diverse skills and a tantalizing bag…Read more...
Chauncey Billups Drags Out Tired Trope, Says Zion Williamson Was "Raised Right" Because He Had "Two Parents In His Home"
With the first pick in the NBA Draft, ESPN draft analyst Chauncey Billups selected one of the worst possible approaches to complimenting a player’s character, after Zion Williamson had finished taking his ceremonial photo with commissioner Adam Silver and was making his way over to ESPN’s Maria Taylor for his first…Read more...
Darren Rovell Overdoes It On Attempt At Human Emotion With A Pennywise-Ass Giggle
The 2019 NBA Draft is almost underway and, in a surprise to absolutely no one, Darren Rovell is in attendance talking about the only thing that matters to him: the brands. With this access, he approached the guaranteed first-overall pick of the draft in Zion Williamson and asked him when the shoe deal was coming—the…Read more...
All Your Assets Are Belong To The Pelicans
The trade that sent Anthony Davis from the New Orleans Pelicans to the Los Angeles Lakers was a good one. The Lakers got a superstar to pair with LeBron James, and the Pelicans got a hefty package of young players and draft picks to put toward rebuilding their roster. One of the top assets to change hands in the deal…Read more...
Men's Pro Teams Express Support For USWNT By Reminding Everyone That Guys Also Play Sports
Twitter user Malinda has done excellent work curating a delightfully ill-advised collection of nearly identical tweets sent from the accounts of men’s pro sports teams, all of which attempted to express support for the USWNT while also making sure that nobody is in danger of forgetting that dudes play sports, too.Read more...
Dick Vitale Breaks Huge NBA Trade, Walks It Back, Probably Misread A Tweet
This afternoon, ESPN basketball broadcaster Dick Vitale praised the New Orleans Pelicans for flipping the fourth pick in the NBA Draft for Indiana Pacers center Myles Turner. The alleged trade also somehow involved the Atlanta Hawks, who have the 10th pick.
The NFL's New Pass Interference Replay Rule Is Going To Be Pretty Chaotic
The NFL’s competition committee issued its recommendations for how instant replay for pass interference will work, based on the rule that had been approved in March. On one hand, some relatively prudent judgement has been ironed into the standards the league will use to review and overturn pass interference calls and…Read more...
KawhiWatch: Kawhi Leonard Definitely Packing Up For Los Angeles
The Finals are all wrapped up. Kawhi Leonard spent a postseason making his case as the best player in the universe, and now his contractual duties in Toronto are complete. The draft is almost over with, too, and with it all the mind-numbing long-term speculation about various teenagers, which means we’re free to…Read more...
Tobin Heath Declares War On Sweden, Wins
It’s truly a crime that we missed out on 90 minutes of Tobin Heath in the U.S.’s last game against Chile, but today against Sweden, the magical American winger came back with a vengeance. In the 50th minute, Heath’s deadly feet took on an overmatched opponent in Sweden defender Jonna Andersson and orchestrated an own…Read more...
Matt Nagy Needs To Get Over The Double-Doink
Remembering past failures can be useful as motivation, but at this point Bears head coach Matt Nagy needs to move on, because it’s getting unhealthy. Ever since Chicago lost on a double-doink in the playoffs, Nagy’s made sure that his players remember how they lost on the flukiest of plays.
Cameroon Advance To World Cup Knockout Round With Ludicrous, Last-Minute Solo Goal
Facing elimination from the Women’s World Cup and desperately searching for a late goal to push them through to the knockout rounds, Cameroon countered a late New Zealand throw-in with a burst forward toward the Football Ferns’ net in the 95th minute. It was Cameroon’s goal, but most of the credit should go to…Read more...
Lakers GM Rob Pelinka Is Reportedly Learning How The Salary Cap Works In Real Time
The Los Angeles Lakers are going to enter next season with a roster of extremes. On one hand, LeBron James and Anthony Davis seem like the league’s most seamless pick-and-roll partnership. On the other, the team seems determined to add a third maximum salary player to its books, which will inherently require the…Read more...
Rays Suggest Playing Half Their Home Games In Montreal: Seriously, What The Hell?
Given all of the problems with the Rays—and there are many—dire situations call for nontraditional thinking. Like hanging out with your friends and smoking a ton of weed and wondering aloud Dude. What if a team could play in two cities? That is probably not how this proposed solution to the Rays’ attendance woes came…Read more...
Can Philip Rivers Dunk A Basketball?
All the bars that can open their windows have opened them, and the other ones have shut them tight and dialed up the air conditioning. The air is dense and soupy; just walking down the street feels like wading out into a very still body of saltwater. The sports schedule, give or take the end of the women’s World Cup,…Read more...
Too Much Of The World Cup Is Just Soccer Failing To Get Out Of Its Own Way
Ideally, this would be a story about the best saves of the group stage from the group stage of the 2019 World Cup. The field for this eighth run of the women’s tournament is deeper and more talented than ever, and there have already been a number of highlight-worthy stops to match. I would love to use this space to do …Read more...
ESPN's Adrian Wojnarowski Is Now A Corporate Shill For An NBA Sponsor
Adrian Wojnarowski, ESPN’s most prolific and trusted NBA reporter, is now a brand bot for a company that is partnered with the league he is, in theory, supposed to be covering aggressively and adversarially.
When The Robert Kraft Case Fell Apart, The Women Were Left To Pay The Price
In the photos, Robert Kraft looks every part the billionaire—well-tailored suit, shock of white hair, deep tan, big grin. One of the most powerful men in American football has been seen in recent photos living the glamorous life at the West Hollywood launch party for rocker Jon Bon Jovi and son Jesse’s “premium Rosé,Read more...
Andrés Guardado Is The Engine That Makes Mexico Run At Full Power
Mexico’s men’s national team is one of the best in the world. How you define “one of the best” is up to your interpretation, but they are the best team in CONCACAF, the 18th best in the world according to FIFA’s rankings, and always a good bet to play at least four games at every World Cup, even if they have Germany…Read more...
Bowflex's Super-Popular Weight Bench Has Never Been Cheaper
Bowflex 3.1 Adjustable Weight Bench | $99 | Amazon
GizmodoEverything We Know About the U.S.
Gizmodo Everything We Know About the U.S. Spy Drone Shot Down By Iran’s Revolutionary Guard | Kotaku It’s Hard For Japan To Change Its Escalator Manners | Jalopnik NASCAR Driver Wrecks Another Under Caution, Basically Gets Free Weekend Off | Lifehacker How to Find a More Ethical Zoo | The Takeout What’s the saddest…Read more...
The Vanderbilt Whistler Will Not Be Silenced
Vanderbilt beat Mississippi State 6-3 on Wednesday to advance to the semifinals of the College World Series, and they pulled off their second win in Omaha despite The Man’s best efforts to keep a crucial person from making an impact: 72-year-old Preacher Franklin.Read more...
Forgetful Baseball Man Turns Game-Tying Double Into Mortifying Walk-Off Homer
A minor league baseball game between Norfolk and Scranton Wilkes-Barre went into the bottom of the 10th inning with Norfolk leading 6-5. With the tying run at second, Scranton’s Breyvic Valera hit a ball down the right field line that looked destined to tie the game and put Valera on second with a stand-up double.…Read more...
Thursday's Best Deals: AirPods, Logitech Gold Box, Roku Streaming Stick+, BAGGU, and More
An exclusive deal on Japanese chef’s knives, a Roav dash cam, Amazon activewear, and a Kindle Oasis discount lead off a Thursday’s best deals.Read more...
The NHL Awards Were Worth It Just For One Burn On The Lightning
I’ve historically not been a fan of the NHL Awards being held after the season, rather than before the playoffs. I don’t care, by this point, who won what—the debates have long since cooled, and the regular season feels like something from the distant past— by now we’re already thinking about the draft and free agency…Read more...
Four Members Of One Texas Family Plead Guilty In Lucrative Masters Ticket Resale Scheme
Tickets to The Masters, held annually at Augusta National in Georgia, are notoriously difficult to come by, and prices on the secondary market are generally preposterous. Four members of one Texas family apparently seized on the arbitrage opportunities presented by this situation in order to make quite a lot of money…Read more...
Alameda County Sheriff's Office Says Body-Cam Footage Cut Out Right Before Masai Ujiri Allegedly Concussed Deputy
Police want to charge Toronto Raptors president of basketball operations Masai Ujiri with a crime for allegedly concussing an Alameda County Sheriff’s Office deputy with a two-fisted shove in the aftermath of Toronto’s Finals-clinching Game 6 win in Oakland. Soon the department is expected to file a report with the…Read more...
Longtime Track Coach And One-Time Olympian Charged With Sexual Battery Against Former Athlete
A longtime and prominent track coach and former Olympian was arrested in Los Angeles on Wednesday and charged with one felony count of sexual battery by fraud for allegedly molesting one of his former athletes. The arrest reportedly comes as the result of an Outside The Lines investigation that detailed allegations…Read more...
Lovable Asshole Corey Perry's Time With The Ducks Is Over
In an unsurprising yet still kind of melancholy move, the Anaheim Ducks have bought out the last two years of Corey Perry’s pricey contract, making him an unrestricted free agent for the offseason. Perry, the 34-year-old winger, played his whole 14-year career with Anaheim, and he leaves the franchise as one of its …Read more...
NASCAR Driver Wrecks Another Under Caution, Basically Gets Free Weekend Off
The rain-delayed NASCAR Truck Series race at Iowa Speedway on Sunday was kind of a mess, in that the driver who crossed the finish line first didn’t win and that one driver in the field, Johnny Sauter, got so mad at another that he wrecked him under caution. That’s a big no-no in NASCAR, and the sanctioning body is…Read more...
Wild Man Max Scherzer Is Pitching With A Huge Shiner One Day After Breaking His Nose [UPDATE]
Tuesday afternoon Max Scherzer broke his nose during batting practice, while working on his bunting. Among the many reasons this was unfortunate is poor timing: Scherzer was scheduled to pitch Wednesday evening, in the second game of a day-night doubleheader. The Nationals brought a pitcher up from Triple-A Fresno,…Read more...
Cops: David Ortiz's Shooting Was An Unlikely Case Of Mistaken Identity
Dominican Republic Attorney General Jean Alain Rodríguez announced new findings Wednesday afternoon in the non-fatal shooting of Red Sox all-timer David Ortiz last month in Santo Domingo. The story, to this point, has already been fairly surprising, involving somewhere around ten co-conspirators, a “mastermind,” and a…Read more...
The End Of Argentina-Scotland Was A Fucking Mess
Scotland just had to defend a 3-0 lead over the final 20 minutes of their match on Wednesday against Argentina in order to make it to the knockout stage of the World Cup. They couldn’t do it, and as a result will exit their first World Cup after just three games.Read more...
Lucas Giolito, Who Was The Worst Starter In Baseball, Is Now An Ace
It only feels like every strange or new thing that could happen in baseball has already happened. Lucas Giolito, who is currently pitching better than just about any starting pitcher in baseball a year after pitching worse than every other starting pitcher in baseball, is not remotely the first such pitcher to make…Read more...
The Texans' Attempt To Hire A GM Was Cartoonishly Inept
It’s been 12 days since the Texans abruptly fired GM Brian Gaine, and their search for Gaine’s replacement has apparently ended with [checks notes after fishing them out of trashcan] head coach Bill O’Brien! This, uh, wasn’t part of the plan. Because the plan was bungled with enough incompetence to make the Jets…Read more...
The UFC's Pride Month Shirts Can't Hide How It Really Feels
Shortly following the start of Pride Month in June, the UFC joined in the grand tradition of brands glomming onto the LGBTQ+ rights movement in order to enhance their profiles:
Padres Pitcher Shines In Major-League Debut, Also Wins Bet With His Good Friend John Cena
A pitcher making his first MLB start against the Milwaukee Brewers’ fearsome offense is already a daunting scenario, but add the pressure of John Cena rooting for you, and man, it’s impressive that Logan Allen got out alive.Read more...
Neymar Can't Really Be On The Move Again, Can He?
Two years after Neymar wasn’t going to leave Barcelona for PSG, only to then leave Barcelona for PSG, there is now a new storm of speculation hinting at only one possible outcome: Neymar, who isn’t going to leave PSG for Barcelona, will leave PSG for Barcelona.
Tyler Boyd's Long, Strange Journey To The USMNT Was Worth It
While the United States Women’s National Team is in France mounting what looks destined to be a hellacious defense of their World Cup title, their disgraced counterparts on the men’s side quietly played and won their first competitive game since, well, that game in Trinidad & Tobago. Since the USMNT was humiliated out…Read more...
Mike Conley Traded To Utah Jazz For Some Crud
Remember the decade basketbloggers and analysts spent appending the word “underrated” to every single mention of Mike Conley’s name? Then he signed what was, at the time, the largest contract in NBA history, and everybody stopped calling him “underrated” for a while. Heh, well, about that.Read more...
Untimely Sprinklers Derail Match Point
Life can be rough on the ATP Challenger tour, one rung below the pro tour you see on TV. World No. 317 Adam Pavlásek was just a point away from locking up his second-round win at the Challenger Bratislava over world No. 218 Elliot Benchetrit. Then six sprinklers came to life.
Skip Bayless Falls For A Fake Woj Tweet About Chris Paul Mocking James Harden's "Manboobs"
Have you heard the news? If you watched FS1's Second Take this morning, you did: the Rockets backcourt’s toxic situation got so bad in part because Chris Paul repeatedly berated James Harden about his “manboobs,” to the point that Harden left team practices in tears. Wow!
Spring Football Will Never Work And Charlie Ebersol Sure As Hell Wasn't The Man To Do It
Last week, Seth Wickersham of ESPN published a thorough and damning tick-tock of the conception and near-instant immolation of the Alliance of American Football, a spring football league founded by Charlie Ebersol. If Ebersol’s last name rings a bell, it’s with good reason. He’s the son of former NBC Sports honcho…Read more...
Getting A Medal From Donald Trump Fits Jerry West All Too Well
Have you ever seen Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, The Lonely Island’s 2016 mockumentary about a very specific kind of post-Obama cultural success? It’s a good movie. Funny gags, and some insight into the sort of of-this-moment famous person who is transparently drowning in narcissism but also dedicated to…Read more...
The Revenge of the Poverty-Stricken College Professors Is Underway in Florida. And It's Big.
“Two half-time adjunct jobs do not make a full-time income. Far from it,” Ximena Barrientos says. “I’m lucky that I have my own apartment. I have no idea how people make it work if they have to pay rent.”
This Dumb League Does It Again
In December, commissioner Gary Bettman announced that the NHL salary cap would rise $3.5 million for the 2019–20 season, to $83 million. In the last couple of days, there have been rumblings that Bettman’s figure was optimistic, and that the figure—which is negotiated by the league and the players’ union—will actually…Read more...
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