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Updated 2025-09-21 05:17
Deshaun Watson Got Kicked In The Frickin' Eye And Still Threw A Touchdown
Texans QB Deshaun Watson can get you out of your seat at a moment’s notice, but he might have outdone himself while throwing a go-ahead fourth quarter touchdown in his team’s game against the Raiders on Sunday.
Someone Should Put The Warriors In Rice
After the Clippers beat the brakes off the Warriors on Friday, coach Steve Kerr offered the following foreboding quote to reporters about what his team should expect for the remainder of the season:Read more...
The Broncos Played Like Cowards And Joe Flacco Is Pissed
Jacoby Brissett once again proved himself to be a trustworthy starter on Sunday, leading his Colts to a 5-2 record with a 15-13 late comeback win against the Broncos. Adam Vinatieri got the points that notched the victory, but it was Brissett who made one of the weekend’s best plays anywhere on a football field this…Read more...
The Browns Turned It Over On Three Consecutive Offensive Snaps
The Cleveland Browns came into their game against New England this week with a lot of optimism. Jarvis Landry even guaranteed victory over the defending Super Bowl champs, before recanting a bit.
The Refs Screwed The Bucs Over By Making Them Rely On Jameis Winston
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were given a lifeline late in their game against the Tennessee Titans on Sunday. On a fourth-and-2, it certainly appeared as though the Titans were lining up to kick the field goal and extend their lead to 30-23. However, when the ball was snapped to Brett Kern he picked it up and tried to run…Read more...
Max Scherzer Can't Go Tonight, So The Nationals Are Turning To, Um, Joe Ross?
What was going to be a marquee Game 5 pitching rematch on Sunday night between the Astros’ Gerrit Cole and the Nationals’ Max Scherzer has taken a bizarre left turn, as Scherzer won’t be healthy enough to get on the mound for Washington. In a shock announcement this afternoon, manager Davey Martinez said his best…Read more...
The Bears Missed A Field Goal To Lose A Game
The Chicago Bears have some *ahem* history with missed field goals, and the failure of Cody Parkey in last season’s playoffs clearly haunted the psyche of coach Matt Nagy all summer. But while this miss—by replacement kicker Eddy Pineiro to lose 17-16 against the Chargers—may not be as significant as a Wild Card loss…Read more...
The Bucs Just Can't Get Out Of Their Own Way
Tampa Bay’s offense is at its worst whenever Mike Evans doesn’t have the ball. Case in point is this third-and-goal play with the offense just four yards from the end zone. What should have been a simple hand off to running back Dare Ogunbowale turned into a comedy of errors as Breshad Perriman jacked up his teammate…Read more...
Bears Fans Boo Team Off The Field After Offense Freezes At The Goal Line
Is this football? I think it’s supposed to be football, but what I’m seeing is an especially glitchy game of Madden I need to turn off and turn back on again. And the fans in Chicago seem to agree with me. Heading into halftime against the Chargers, down 7-6 with 45 seconds remaining in the quarter, the Chicago Bears…Read more...
Flea Flickers Are Out. Double Reverse Flea Flickers Are In.
Yeah, sure, it’s possible for a team to score a touchdown on a boring old flea flicker, but if you could jazz things up by scoring on an Ultra Spectacular Jet Sweep Double Flea Flicker Reverse™️ instead, why wouldn’t you? That’s what the Rams were clearly thinking today in England against the Bengals, as they took a…Read more...
Astros Accomplish Bare Minimum, Retract Statement Smearing Sports Illustrated's Stephanie Apstein
The Houston Astros have finally retracted their statement which claimed that Sports Illustrated’s Stephanie Apstein was “fabricating” her story about former assistant GM Brandon Taubman yelling “Thank God we got Osuna! I’m so fucking glad we got Osuna!” at a group of female reporters after the team’s Game 6 ALCS win…Read more...
Where's Alge Crumpler?
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Bow Down Before The Mighty Devin Booker And His Unstoppable Phoenix Suns
I don’t want to alarm you, but you should begin to prepare for a world where the Phoenix Suns are NBA champions. It’s the only logical conclusion one could come to after one of the league’s sorriest franchises beat the Clippers on Saturday, 130-122, without their starting center (Deandre Ayton) or point guard (Ricky…Read more...
Even Knicks Fans Already Love Tacko Fall
The “We Want Tacos” chant is, oddly, not even all that uncommon at basketball games, given the wide variety of food promotions that exist for when home teams hit certain accomplishments. But at Madison Square Garden, a variation on this chant—the singular form—emerged from a Knicks blowout loss on Saturday night. With…Read more...
Alex Bregman Let Out All His Frustration With One Booming Swing
It seems likely that nobody in the World Series was more pissed off than Astros third baseman Alex Bregman heading into Game 4. The ’Stros top hitter in the regular season was only 1-for-13 in the first three games of the Fall Classic. His lone positive contribution was a meaningless dinger in a 12-3 loss, and it was …Read more...
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Here's A Fabulous One-Handed Catch That Defies Gravity And Our Collective Understanding Of The Human Body
Odell Beckham is weeping! He’s packing up and skipping town! This reception by South Carolina’s Bryan Edwards was, frankly, too freakin’ good for him to bear. The defender is all over Edwards on this 19-yard pass, but naturally, he managed to snag it with one hand behind the head. Taylor Zarzour on the broadcast,…Read more...
Florida State Deploys Some Form Of Witchcraft To Save Broken Trick Play
One of the clearest signs that a trick play is going to shit is when the players involved in said trickery start to look frantic in their movements. This is exactly where Syracuse had Florida State with about three-and-a-half minutes left in the first half on Saturday.
The Unblockable Chase Young Made Wisconsin Look Like Frauds
Here were the things Wisconsin’s offensive linemen could do to stop Ohio State defensive end and elite pass rusher Chase Young in Saturday’s game, his former coach, Urban Meyer, said on the pregame show: They could chip him—have a fullback or tight end sprint into his ribs—with someone like running back Jonathan…Read more...
Report: Young Southampton Fan Somehow Still Believes In Team, Even After 9-0 Loss To Leicester
At least one Southampton supporter was still behind the team well into a rout that ended up tying the record for largest victory in Premier League history: a 13-year-old named Tom. It’d be easy for any young teenager to jump ship from a team that they just witnessed be on the wrong end of a 9-0 loss, but Tom’s father…Read more...
Oklahoma's Playoff Chances Might Have Just Died Because Of A Couple Frames Of Video
Let’s get the obvious out of the way now: Kansas State’s performance on Saturday against No. 5 Oklahoma was, for all intents and purposes, deserving of a victory. But that’s what makes exactly how the 48-41 win was sealed all the more frustrating.
Kelechi Osemele, NFLPA Now Considering Legal Action Against Jets' Doctor [Update]
The Jets continue to look crueler and dumber in their feud with Kelechi Osemele. The left guard spent weeks begging the team to approve a procedure to repair a torn labrum in his left shoulder and decided to have it without their blessing on Friday, after an independent doctor he consulted recommended immediate…Read more...
Christian Pulisic Finally Scored His First Premier League Goal [Updates]
American superstar Christian Pulisic made the most of his position in Chelsea’s starting lineup against Burnley on Saturday. A little over 20 minutes into the match, the wunderkind found himself on a breakaway with just on defender to his side. After slowing down to allow another Burnley defender to catch up and make…Read more...
Did Stephen Jackson Confirm Tony Parker's Infidelity With Brent Barry's Ex-Wife?
Former NBA players Stephen Jackson and Matt Barnes are the latest athletes to join the ridiculously oversaturated world of podcasting—don’t forget to subscribe to ours, by the way—with a show called “All the Smoke.” The focus, as outlined in this interview with CBS Sports, is for the two hosts to have an unfiltered…Read more...
Have Any Of These Dang Jeopardy! Nerds Watched A Single Game Of Basketball?
Get a load of last night’s Jeopardy! contestants, who knew all sorts of rivers and peace treaties, but not this. Erin and Jamie wisely kept quiet and let the clue pass them by, but customer service representative Kris buzzed in with his spectacularly wrong answer.Read more...
Obese Cat Hates Exercising As Much As You Do
This absolute unit of a cat is Cinderblock, an obese feline who was surrendered to a veterinary hospital in Bellington, Wash. sometime this past week so that she could be properly treated for her, uhh, weight problem. Cinderblock started making viral rounds online when Northshore Veterinary Hospital posted a video of…Read more...
Take Your Pick Of Beats In-Ear Headphones During This One-Day Sale
Beats In-Ear Headphones, Pick Your Own | WootRead more...
Nats Send Big Wet President To World Series After Failing To Send Runners Home
In the 1976 film Freaky Friday, a mother and daughter learn to forgive one another after a Friday the 13th spell forces the two to switch bodies for a day and experience the other’s life. The lesson at the end is that one of the best ways to resolve conflicts is by seeing the world through another person’s…Read more...
LeBron James Should Just Recap Your Crappy Team's Games From Memory
Thursday’s Lakers media scrum afforded LeBron James yet another opportunity to showcase his impeccable memory for the press. As he explained his habit of watching every NBA game during his off-days, James rattled off several plays from Wednesday night’s Timberwolves-Nets OT thriller.Read more...
The USWNT Is Making The Best And Easiest Choice For Its Next Manager
For once, U.S. Soccer is doing something smart. The federation confirmed that it will announce the next manager of the USWNT on Monday, and multiple reports, including from Sports Illustrated’s Grant Wahl, say the choice is going to be Reign FC boss Vlatko Andonovski. Rejoice, because this is the right choice.
The 10 Best Deals of October 25, 2019
We see a lot of deals around the web over on Kinja Deals, but these were our ten favorites today.Read more...
Mizzou Athletics Tweet Celebrating Its Student-Athletes' Diversity Goes Horribly Wrong
On Wednesday, the University of Missouri’s athletic department contributed its part to the NCAA’s inclusion week (which runs for less than an actual week, naturally), and boy was it crummy. Photos of several of their athletes explaining why they are “more than a student athlete.” The messages displayed in front of…Read more...
Nick Rimando Was Never Too Short To Stand Tall
One dream is that it never ends. The cartilage never recedes and the synapses fire as fast as ever, and you just keep going. Every morning you pop out of bed without the reminder of the 100 times you hit the ground in practice the day before and your body and mind never tire of the routine. Everyone knows that this is…Read more...
This Is The Face Of A Soccer Manager Who's Just Been Asked If A Nutty Comeback Win Is Better Than Nutting
Heart-pounding scenes in England’s second division on Wednesday when Bristol City pulled off a thrilling last-minute comeback victory over Charlton Athletic. Bristol manager Lee Johnson spoke effusively after the match about what an “unbelievable feeling” it was, though he wasn’t quite ready for the interviewer’s…Read more...
Ryu Is Faster Than Usain Bolt, According to Math
Have you ever wondered what it would take for a person to perform Street Fighter’s Tatsumaki Senpukyaku in real life? Or how loud the Dragonborn would have to shout to attract all those dragons in Skyrim? Or maybe if the scream energy used by the monsters in Monsters, Inc. is actually viable as a power source? One…Read more...
Greg Hardy's MMA Career Has Been A Master Class In Cheating
In a different context, it would be hilarious.Read more...
Novelist Kelsey McKinney: The patrickredford.kinja.com Interview
Kelsey McKinney, a features writer at our sister site Deadspin, announced today that her debut novel, God Spare The Girls, will be published at some point in the future by The Book Group. Kelsey, a fellow medium, is a friend to patrickredford.kinja.com, and she was gracious enough to grant patrickredford.kinja.com an…Read more...
Patrick Beverley Mercilessly Taunts Warriors Fans After Clippers Ruin New Arena's Opening Night
Kawhi Leonard and the Clippers opened up the Warriors’ shiny new San Francisco arena by hanging 141 points on the hapless Dubs. That’s the most in almost a decade. Golden State looked terribly thin, with D’Angelo Russell and Draymond Green both posting plus-minus lines of -35 and Green admitting that “we fucking…Read more...
Don't Make Me Root For These Creatures To Be Happy
I am never going to forgive the Houston Astros. Not because they’ve dropped two straight at home to the Washington Nationals in this year’s World Series, although that was pretty grotesque. (They gave up a crucial home run to Kurt Suzuki, who is 129 years old.) No, it’s because their idiot assistant GM belched some…Read more...
Carlos Vela And LAFC Finally Overcame Zlatan And The LA Galaxy
LAFC finally did it. After three draws and two losses in five tries, the younger brother of Los Angeles triumphed over its bullying older sibling on Thursday night, defeating the LA Galaxy 5–3 and advancing to the Western Conference finals. It was the most hyped edition of El Tráfico yet, with the highest of stakes on…Read more...
The Skins Are Horrendous, But At Least They're Quick About It
Here is an item that might actually cheer Skins fans about their cheerless excuse for a football team:Read more...
The Astros Are Not In The Apology Business
“We talk internally about being on the ‘bleeding edge,’” Astros GM Jeff Luhnow told the McKinsey Quarterly in June of 2018. The exceedingly collegial two-part interview was a homecoming of sorts for Luhnow, who worked at the management consulting giant for five years before going into the baseball business. “We know…Read more...
This Is The World Series MLB Deserves
Joe Buck is about to have the most difficult day of his professional life, because unlike his Jose Altuve home run call from the American League Championship Series, he must speak.
Impressions of Crouton, a Moderately Famous Internet Cow
For Crouton, fame came in the form of a wheelbarrow.Read more...
Victorious LAFC Coach Bob Bradley Storms Off In Response To Softball Question
LAFC beat Zlatan Ibrahimović and LA Galaxy 5–3 in Thursday night’s El Tráfico, beating their rivals for the first time ever, bouncing them from the MLS playoffs, and advancing to the club’s first Western Conference final. LAFC star Carlos Vela figured prominently, scoring a pair of first-half goals and setting up a…Read more...
XFL Draftee Dumps The League Over Insultingly Low Pay
The XFL player draft, held October 15, had a whopping 71 rounds, during which eight teams filled out their rosters with a combined 568 guys. But a maximum of 567 of those guys will proceed to whatever the next stage of this project winds up being, after former University of Tennessee standout and recent Arizona…Read more...
Adam Silver Says Issues Between U.S. And China Have "Absolutely Nothing To Do With The NBA"
At the beginning of Inside the NBA on Thursday, Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith and Charles Barkley sat with commissioner Adam Silver just a couple days after the crew tackled the league’s China debacle for the first time this season. As a quick note for context about this segment’s somber tone and pacing, the crew spent…Read more...
Deandre Ayton Suspended For 25 Games, How Are The Suns Always Like This
The godforsaken Suns got their season off to a rare positive start Wednesday, erasing an 11-point first-half deficit and wiping out the visiting Kings, 124–95. Exciting second-year center Deandre Ayton was a huge factor, piling up 18 points, 11 rebounds, and four blocks, and finishing a game-high plus-25 in 33…Read more...
Astros GM Jeff Luhnow Keeps Digging And Digging
Astros general manager Jeff Luhnow came before assembled members of the press Thursday evening in D.C., to face the music for now-fired assistant GM Brandon Taubman’s locker room taunts directed at three women reporters after his team’s ALCS-clinching victory, and for the Astros publicly and falsely accusing Sports…Read more...
Nate Diaz Pulls Out Of UFC Event, Claims "Your All On Steroids Not Me"
The battle for the Baddest Motherfucker in the Game will not be happening at UFC 244, as Nate Diaz has pulled out of the event. The 34-year-old welterweight provided a strange explanation for his withdrawal from the fight against Jorge Masvidal on Twitter, which included a claim that UFC asked him to keep the results…Read more...
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