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Updated 2025-11-10 02:17
Josef Martínez Dribbled Two Houston Dynamo Players Into An Early Grave
Josef Martínez is Atlanta United’s do-everything striker, was the best player in MLS last year, and has been the hottest player in the league over the last two months. The 26-year-old Venezuelan has scored 11 goals in his last seven games, including two against the Houston Dynamo on Wednesday night in a 5-0 Atlanta…Read more...
Would LeBron James Be An Esports Legend?
It is indeed one of the slowest sports weeks of the year, one in which basketbloggers no longer have Summer League to drool over, NFL access merchants try to get you jacked up for nascent training camps storylines that will be forgotten within minutes, the most exciting baseball thing to happen is the possibility of …Read more...
Worst People To Overhear Having Sex, Ranked
Make a Seat For Yourself In Any Pool or Lake With This $23 Saddle Float
Beach Bronco Floating Pool Seat, Red | $23 | AmazonRead more...
Bolton Wanderers Players And Coaches Have Not Been Paid In Four Months
Despite staving off administration twice over in months prior, Bolton Wanderers finally met that dreaded fate on May 8. Since then, the club has been nothing but a disaster. With no potential owners stepping up to buy the team, and an unpaid tax bill of at least £1.2 million, things are looking dire.Read more...
Chris Paddack Gave The Marlins A Taste Of What They're Missing
Back in June 2016, a much different Miami Marlins team beefed up their bullpen with a trade for 39-year-old journeyman reliever Fernando Rodney. Rodney would play out the rest of the season with the Fish, posting a 5.89 ERA and a 1.80 WHIP over 36.2 innings as Miami finished 15.5 games out of first place. All Rodney’s…Read more...
Zlatan Ibrahimović Ethers Carlos Vela
LAFC forward Carlos Vela has dominated MLS this year. Many believe this makes him the best player in the league. Zlatan Ibrahimović disagrees. After all, Vela might be the Messi of MLS, but as Zlatan astutely pointed out in an interview on ESPN in which he coolly savaged Vela’s career and the league itself, the…Read more...
Well, This Isn't How You Want To Start A Major Tournament
The Open Championship got underway this morning on a rainy day at Royal Portrush in Northern Ireland. Rory McIlroy, who is from Northern Ireland and grew up playing on the course, had just about the worst possible start to his day.
Home Depot Is Having a Big Sale on Select DEWALT Tools and Accessories
Up to 45% off Select DEWALT Power Tools and Accessories | Home Depot
Justin Upton Makes A Spectacular Leaping Attempt Really Nowhere Near The Ball
Justin Upton leads all active MLB outfielder with 82 career errors. The galaxy-brained solution to avoid adding to that tally? Misplay a ball so badly he ends up nowhere near it, giving the official scorer no choice but to rule it a hit.
Don Mattingly Is Ready For Robot Umpires
Marlins manager Don Mattingly watched his team get very nearly no-hit by electrifying Padres ace Chris Paddack Wednesday night, in what would’ve been the first no-hitter in Padres history. Paddack gave up his first hit, a solo dinger to Starlin Castro, in the bottom of the eighth inning, and eventually handed a…Read more...
Let These Good Baseball Children Warm Your Rotten Heart
Wednesday night’s Dodgers-Phillies game was interrupted by a lengthy rain delay. For one fan this meant an opportunity to treat the tarp covering the infield as a Slip ’n Slide; for others, it meant sleep. For many, it meant leaving the stadium and going home. Those who left missed the Dodgers carrying a combined…Read more...
Measured By Length Of Suspension, A Reckless Beaning Is Worse Than Trucking A Catcher
Angels pitcher Noé Ramirez was suspended by Major League Baseball for three games for plunking Astros outfielder Jake Marisnick Tuesday night. This is MLB determining that the beaning was intentional and, notably, hitting Ramirez with a longer suspension than the one given to Marisnick for bulldozing and injuring…Read more...
Free Chris Paul
Before the Houston Rockets traded Chris Paul to the rebuilding Oklahoma City Thunder last week, they reportedly tried to involve a third team in the deal, in order to redirect Paul to a more competitive situation. When that effort proved especially cumbersome, Rockets general manager Daryl Morey resolved to make that…Read more...
Idiot On The Tarp Enjoys Slippin' N Slidin' During Phillies Rain Delay
It’s raining all over the East Coast, and as a result, baseball is at a standstill. Fans from Philadelphia to Baltimore to Boston have already been forced to sit through delays on Wednesday night, with most of them likely huddled in the concourses, cowering in fear of the precipitation.Read more...
David Price Is Still Weirdly Hot Under The Collar About Dennis Eckersley
You would think interpersonal beef that arises out of one person saying one single non-R-rated word about a third party could not possible last longer than, say, a couple weeks. Turns out you would be way wrong about that. The dumb beef between Red Sox pitcher David Price and NESN broadcaster Dennis Eckersley is now …Read more...
Extra Cool Mom Climbs Mt. Rushmore Barefoot, Gets Busted
Last Friday, Alexandria Incontro from Omaha, Nebraska, very nearly free-soloed Mt. Rushmore, making it 15 feet from the top before she was persuaded to give up on her attempt by a park ranger. According to the Rapid City Journal, visitors reported seeing a woman scaling the wall around 7 p.m. on Friday night, and the…Read more...
"Mai Tai Guy" Has No Regrets Over Stealing Walk-Off Home Run Ball From Kids
The Cubs beat the Reds in dramatic, walk-off fashion on Tuesday night, as Kyle Schwarber hit a 10th-inning dinger to put an exclamation point on a Chicago day that had already seen the capture of notorious alligator Chance the Snapper. And as one minor local reptilian celebrity was consigned to a bucket by the Dept.…Read more...
FIFA Puts An End To The Scourge Of Amazing, Impossible Goalkeeper Goals
Goalkeepers occasionally score goals. Some turn it into an art form; Brazil’s Rogério Ceni scored 131 times. Still, a game where a goalkeeper scores is rare. Even rarer still: a goalkeeper throwing the ball into the other team’s net for a goal.Read more...
Matthijs de Ligt's Transfer To Juventus Might Be The Most Important Move Of The Summer
Though it’s not official official just yet, it would take a massive change of heart to stop the inevitable: Matthijs de Ligt will be a Juventus player next season. And for as good and smart of a move as this is for both parties involved, the lasting effect of the Bianconeri signing the most coveted young defensive…Read more...
The NBA's Supermax Is Doing What It Was Supposed To
The provisions of a collective bargaining agreement can be tricky things. After all, by definition they’re negotiated and agreed upon by parties with different and largely opposed interests, who will want different and often directly conflicting things out of them. The purpose or intent of any given one of them can…Read more...
Yadier Molina, Alex Cora, And Others In Baseball Call For Puerto Rico Governor To Resign Over Leaked Chats
Red Sox manager Alex Cora, Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina, and a few other baseball players today have called for Puerto Rico Governor Ricardo Rosselló to resign after his exposed texts revealed him making sexist and nasty remarks about other government officials and public figures.
I Followed Grimes's Arcane Training Regimen, Unlocked The Powers Of My Soul, And Cut My Hand
Earlier this week, Grimes, the Canadian pop star who makes pretty good music that sounds like a computer fighting an elf, outlined the parameters of an ambitious training regimen on Instagram Tuesday. The program takes between four to seven hours, requires sword fighting and screaming, and seems to be a promotion for…Read more...
Canelo Álvarez Seems To Have Lost Gennady Golovkin's Phone Number
Middleweight champion Canelo Álvarez released a statement Wednesday announcing that, for the first time since 2015, he will not be fighting his traditional bout on Mexican Independence Day weekend in September. Álvarez—who’s generally a safe bet to box on that weekend as well as Cinco de Mayo weekend—canceled the…Read more...
Here's What You'll Face When You Try to Invade Area 51
This week, the internet is going crazy with talk of a mass People’s Invasion of Area 51. More than one million people have signed up on Facebook to breach the gates of the most famous top secret government facility in the world. The event, which sprang to life as a joke started by social media shitposters, has now…Read more...
Tupac-Obsessed Iowa Public Servant Resigns In Mystery
The Iowa Department for Human Services provides services to the poor, children, senior citizens, and people with mental illness, addictions, or disabilities. Jerry Foxhoven, a retired law professor, was appointed to head up the agency in 2017, and until he was ousted last month, he added another directive to that…Read more...
Coach Who Once Ditched Job During Season Frets About College Football Player Transfers
Alabama football coach Nick Saban thinks “the spirit” of college football’s transfer portal “in and of itself is a positive thing for players.” But let’s not get carried away: Lest anyone think he’s completely on board with the idea of players having the sort of agency that, say, coaches do, Saban thinks there has to…Read more...
Most Exciting Incidental Things To Happen At A Sporting Event, Ranked
I went with my family to a collegiate summer league baseball game last week, because tickets were cheap and because we needed a decent excuse to leave the house. If you’ve ever been to a summer league game—or to a much bigger professional sporting event—you know that there are things that occur within the stadium that…Read more...
Manny Machado Calls Eric Byrnes And Dan Plesac The "Biggest Tools Out There"
Manny Machado, while lounging at home and watching MLB Network last night, decided to pop off his shirt, log into Instagram, and get some things off his chest. What followed was a solid three minutes of Machado shitting on MLB Network commentators Dan Plesac and Eric Byrnes while pointing out the league’s double…Read more...
The WNBA Players Association Is Contesting Riquna Williams's Domestic-Violence Suspension
On Tuesday, the WNBA issued a statement announcing that Los Angeles Sparks guard Riquna Williams would be suspended for 10 games as a result of an incident of suspected domestic violence in December, which led to Williams’s arrest on April 29 of this year. Williams allegedly broke into a home in Palm Beach County,…Read more...
The New York Knicks Continue To Fill Their Big Baby Diapers With Poo Over NY Daily News Reports
After the New York Daily News published an astonishing but routinely reported story on New York Knicks owner James Dolan’s ongoing and legally protracted feud with Clippers owner Steve Ballmer and the city of Inglewood—which concerns Ballmer’s proposed new arena and how it would compete with an existing arena in the…Read more...
Wednesday's Best Deals: Prime Day Leftovers, Instant Pot, Samsung Monitors, and More
A bunch of board games, Old Spice deodorant, an OXO cold brew maker and Edifier speakers lead off the best, post-Prime Day deals from around the web.Read more...
Jake Marisnick Is Ready For This To Be Over
The Astros played the Angels in Los Angeles last night, marking the first time Houston outfielder Jake Marisnick had to face Angels fans since knocking out Jonathan Lucroy with a brutal home-plate collision. He did not receive a warm reception.
Prime Day Is Over, But You Can Still Get An Instant Pot For $50
Instant Pot IP-DUO60 | $50 | AmazonRead more...
Ned Yost Can Teach You Whippersnappers A Thing Or Two About The Moon Landing, So Listen Up!
The Royals beat the White Sox 11-0 last night, and got a complete game shutout from starting pitcher Glenn Sparkman. But who gives a shit about any of that? We’re here to learn about space from Royals manager Ned Yost.
Benches Clear In Rays-Yankees Over Grown Men Arguing About Not Talking To Each Other
The benches cleared briefly in the middle of the sixth inning of Tuesday night’s Rays-Yankees tilt in New York. No one was plunked or brushed back; there were no dirty slides; no catchers were trucked at the plate. Yankees pitcher C.C. Sabathia struck out Rays outfielder Avisail Garcia on a, hmm, creatively framed…Read more...
The Best Prime Day Deals You Can Still Buy [Updating]
Amazon Prime Day is officially here! We’re updating this page to help navigate you through the avalanche of deals throughout the next day and a half, so check back often for all the best Prime Day deals. Or, for a quicker deals fix, check out our deal rankings, or follow along with all the best Lightning Deals on our…Read more...
Hustle Over to Amazon's Nike Sale Before Prime Day Ends
Day 1 of Prime Day featured a big sale on Adidas gear (and there’s still one running on Adidas’ site), so it’s only fitting that Day 2 closes with a big sale on Nike products.
Steve Kerr Tentatively Reminds Shaq Of Obligation To Kiss Kerr's Cheese-Covered Feet
Back in 2005, Shaquille O’Neal thought no coach would ever match what Phil Jackson did with the Lakers between 2000 to 2004: guide a team to the Finals four out of five years. “It will never be done again,” Shaq said, promising to kiss the cheese-covered feet of any person that did it, on a TV show that was very of…Read more...
Let The Alligator Throw The First Pitch
Chance the Snapper—a Chicago alligator who gained fame last week when he was first noticed living in the Humboldt Park lagoon—was taken into custody Tuesday morning by reptile expert Frank Robb, who was hired specifically to grab the creature. Before he was apprehended, the 5-foot-3 Chance captured the attention of …Read more...
Sports Illustrated Washes Manny Pacquiao's Balls; Manny Pacquiao Says, "Thank You"
Today Sports Illustrated published a story about how Manny Pacquiao, boxer and sitting Phillippine senator who said gay people are worse than animals and that drug dealers should be killed, is a wise man who just loves boxing. It was very well received by Manny Pacquiao.Read more...
Pete Alonso's Charming "English Muffin" Quote, Like Most Precious Things In Life, Was A Sham
Before Mets slugger Pete Alonso participated in the Home Run Derby during the all-star break, he earned a little moment with this seemingly off-the-cuff quip: “It doesn’t matter how much jelly you have in the jar, it’s about how you spread it on your English muffin.” That’s funny. Well, guess what? That shit came from…Read more...
The America Ilhan Omar Knows
Last week, Fox News host Tucker Carlson, perhaps in a telling of things to come, said on his show that Omar “has an awful lot to be grateful for” but “hates this country more than ever.” He doubled down on his comments the following night, arguing that arriving in this country as a refugee should prevent her from…Read more...
USWNT's Ashlyn Harris Says Former Teammate Was Excluded For Homophobia, Not Christianity
In the never-ending search for fuel to feed the conservative backlash against the world champion USWNT, some media outlets—mostly of the conservative Christian variety—dredged up a year-old interview with former USWNT defender Jaelene Hinkle. Talking to The 700 Club last May, Hinkle said that she turned down an…Read more...
I Cannot Play On The Fucking Floor With These Kids One More Second
Today, we’re talking about moats, supercross, onions, Texas, and more.
For $95, You Can Wreck Newbs Comfortably with This Discounted Racing-Style Gaming Chair
RESPAWN-110 Racing Style Gaming Chair (Green) | $95 | AmazonRead more...
You’re Not Sticking To Sports When You Stick To Sports
We live in an age of mass cowardice, and so it’s unsurprising that the PGA—that famed bastion of sporting tolerance—would not only charge ahead with staging a major tournament at a Trump-owned golf course, but also that they would limply try to have it both ways by consigning the President’s flagrant, deadly racism to…Read more...
Embattled F1 Sponsor Rich Energy Is Now 'Lightning Volt Limited,' CEO William Storey Is Out
On my best day, I don’t think I could’ve concocted the bizarre story about Haas Formula One sponsor Rich Energy: a supposed energy drink empire out of Great Britain, aimed directly at Red Bull, with a shady past and a bombastic CEO who comes off on Twitter like racing’s bargain-basement Donald Trump. Evidently, some…Read more...
Barry Sanders Was The Coolest Football Player Who Ever Lived
What would it take for a present-day football player to equal or surpass the sheer coolness of Barry Sanders, who turns 51 years old today? I’m not sure it’s even possible. Individual humans simply are not permitted to impose themselves on the sport’s structure in 2019 the way they were in 1992. And anyway, I’m pretty…Read more...
Hair-Pulling Considered Rude In Every Sport But Football
In the midst of play a few weeks ago, WNBA player Liz Cambage’s arm got all wrapped up in her opponent Kalani Brown’s hair. At first the tangle seemed to be an accident, but soon there was pushing and shoving and intentional hair-pulling, and Cambage walked away from the encounter with a flagrant foul.Read more...
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