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Cross the ball, head the ball, score a goal. It is the simplest tactic in soccer. It is what practically all teams resort to when the need for a goal is at its most dire. It is a strategy without frills or subtlety. When it works, it is nearly unstoppable. However, it very rarely works—rarely in a sustained way, at…Read more...

Netgear’s Arlo home security cameras are among the few that can run completely on battery power, and these models add additional touches like HD, night vision, motion detection, records and alerts, and weatherproofing. So if you’re ready to start monitoring your home like a paranoid person, Amazon will sell you the…Read more...

After signing Ronald Acuña to a team-friendly deal worth at most $12.4 million annually over the next decade, the Atlanta Braves have locked up another one of their young players with a dirt-cheap extension that’ll last beyond arbitration and through his entire 20s. Second baseman Ozzie Albies, currently at the…Read more...

It is a sad fact of life: there are just more questions in the Funbag than there is time to answer them in the average Deadcast. All your horrible thoughts, your deeply considered curiosities about peeing and pooping, and NFL football, and peeing and pooping vis-a-vis Donald Trump—lost, like tears in rain. Except...Read more...

Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share.Read more...

Former Notre Dame and NFL running back Cierre Wood, 28, was arrested Wednesday and is facing charges of child abuse, child neglect, and murder, according to the Las Vegas Metro Police Department.Read more...

The Sacramento Kings—the NBA’s most laughable franchise and, by ESPN’s estimation, the most miserable team in pro sports—finally had a good season. They didn’t make the playoffs, but they finished 39-43, a 12-win improvement over the previous season. De’Aaron Fox and Buddy Hield took big steps up, the rest of the…Read more...

When one of Nordstrom’s rare seasonal sales emerges, it’s important to pay attention, and right now, the department store’s best deals are coming out of hibernation to ring in the spring. Nordstrom’s Spring Sale features thousands upon thousands of on-sale items for men, women, kids, and home. So just be aware, it’s…Read more...

My move from Brooklyn to Denver this past fall came with a number of advantages: better bike trails, more snowboard runs, and fewer Yankee fans, to name a few. But one thing I wasn’t expecting to find was a city in love with rodeo. The yeehaw agenda has been in full swing since long before Lil Nas X took his horse to…Read more...

You probably missed it because it falls squarely within the genre of normal, pre-2016 government malfeasance, but this week, according to the Washington Post, Maryland state Senator Nancy King (D) shot down a bill that would have made it more difficult for the state’s Republican governor to add toll lanes to the…Read more...

Jakob Larsen, director of Danish Athletics, revealed at the pre-race press conference that the guiding concept behind the design of the 2019 World Cross Country Championships course was a scene from the movie Crocodile Dundee. “That’s not a knife; this is a knife,” says our man of the outback in the film’s most…Read more...

It works in Ramon Foster’s favor that most offensive linemen aren’t well known and rarely grab attention, so when he issues a call for civility to former Steelers players like he did today, it’s seen as a sign of leadership and not a desperate measure by the worst union rep in the NFL.

Back in the 1990s, at the moment when history was supposed to have just recently ended, popular culture was awash in moody hitmen and songs about Dealing With Success. The hard part was over, we were right all along, and so would receive what we deserved. With every culmination duly culminated, the most urgent…Read more...

If, as has been predicted with almost frightening certitude by anyone who has watched a basketball game since Zelmo Beaty roamed the earth, the Golden State Warriors tromp through yet another field of challengers and re-re-almost-repeat as NBA champions, you outworlders will be pleased to know that it won’t induce the…Read more...

Saturday’s UFC Holloway v. Poirier rematch is exclusively available as a $60 pay-per-view add-on for ESPN+ subscribers, which itself costs $5 per month, or $50 per year. That’s a lot of money to see two people try to kill each other!

It must be strange, being a defender of historic greatness for a solid decade, starring for arguably the greatest club and national teams of all time, and still winding up somehow underrated. And yet, that is the fate of Barcelona and Spain center back Gerard Piqué—though if he continues to put together heroic…Read more...

Gizmodo Julian Assange Dragged Out of Ecuadorian Embassy and Arrested by British Police | Jalopnik Germany Prepares for the ‘Painful’ End of Internal Combustion | Lifehacker Don’t Feed Bread to Birds | Kotaku 15 Years Later, There’s New Footage Of The Biggest Street Fighter Moment Ever | The Takeout Aaron Franklin…Read more...

If you haven’t spent all of your pity on walking tragedy Chris Davis, whose hitless streak reached 50 at-bats last night, spare some for Nationals reliever Trevor Rosenthal. After missing an entire season to Tommy John surgery and getting released by the Cardinals, Rosenthal landed in Washington this offseason with…Read more...

A God of War sale, Tarte Cosmetics, Cole Haan, and Vremi Accessories kick off Thursday’s best deals.

The unlikely savior of the St. Louis Blues’ season came through again in Game 1 of their first-round fight with the Winnipeg Jets. Rookie goalie Jordan Binnington, who showed up midseason to go 24-5-1 and pilot the Blues from last place to the playoffs, didn’t get overwhelmed by a sellout crowd in Manitoba and stopped…Read more...

The way-ahead-of-schedule resurgence of the Islanders has coincided with a partial return home, to the Nassau Coliseum, where they’re playing half their home games as they figure out a way to get out of Brooklyn. So it’s only fitting that their playoff opener was back in the old barn, thanks to an agreement to play…Read more...

It’s been a rough time to be Paul Pierce as of late. Since boldly proclaiming that he was better than Dwyane Wade, he’s been the constant ridicule of seemingly anyone who could come up with a joke to make at his expense. Things started just moments after his claim when Jalen Rose read off a list of all the great…Read more...

Boston Celtics guard Marcus Smart could miss up to the first two rounds of the NBA playoffs after suffering a torn oblique on the left side of his body, according to ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski.

Once the Stanley Cup playoffs start, the debate over whether the structural integrity of your face is more important than a goal no longer becomes a debate. There are only two options that players have: give up your face, or let your team down. Less than 15 minutes into Game 1 of the Sharks-Golden Knights series, San…Read more...

In an unsurprising turn of events, two players who played for a league that was suddenly dissolved for comically greedy purposes are now suing that league for screwing them out of a job.

Some fans say that the 3-0 lead when you’re the Presidents’ Trophy winners playing Game 1 at home in the first round against an eight seed from Ohio is the most dangerous lead in hockey, and the Tampa Bay Lightning found that out the hard way in their 4-3 upset loss to the Columbus Blue Jackets on Wednesday night.Read more...

Nassau Coliseum was so frickin’ loud at the start of Game 1 in this first-round series between the Penguins and Islanders, and it somehow got even more deafening 30 seconds into the game. Tom Kuhnhackl came right off the bench for the Isles and set off an explosion in the arena, as he fired a wrister past Matt Murray…Read more...

For the third year in a row, the Las Vegas Aces franchise had the first pick in the WNBA draft, and after selecting first-year All-Star and Rookie of the Year A’Ja Wilson in 2018, the worst team in the West took Notre Dame guard Jackie Young with their first pick in 2019.Read more...

This afternoon, MMA Junkie obtained a copy of an Oct. 2018 restraining order filed against UFC hall-of-famer B.J. Penn by his estranged partner Shealen Uaiwa accusing him of a decade of abusive behavior. Uaiwa obtained a temporary protective order last October that had forbidden Penn from contacting her. A judge…Read more...

The New Jersey Devils beat their lottery odds of 11.5 percent Tuesday night, and landed the first overall pick in this year’s NHL draft. But perhaps even more fortunate than the Devils is another team that jumped up higher than their projected position—the New York Rangers, who’ll draft second.Read more...

Dirk Nowitzki is finally retiring after two decades with the Dallas Mavericks, and is secure in his legacy as the greatest-ever player from outside the United States thanks to 31,540 points scored, the iconic fadeaway jumper, his 14 all-star teams, and the 2007 MVP award. His once-reviled, or at least widely side-eyed…Read more...

A suspected burglar stole five guns, including an AR-15 rifle, and $20,000 in cash from the Atlanta home of Braves right fielder Nick Markakis, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.Read more...

It was difficult to pay attention to Jo-Wilfried Tsonga’s big 7-6(6), 6-3 win over Kyle Edmund in Marrakesh today, because much of the second set was dominated by the commentator’s ASMR-style munching. Wet mouth sounds, dry crunching sounds, and rustling bag sounds nearly matched the volume of tennis ball sounds on…Read more...

Russell Wilson is entering a contract year, and he’s going to get paid. At age 30, Wilson is in the prime of his career, and he continues to be exceptional—even as the Seahawks insist on letting Brian Schottenheimer design plays for him by repeatedly scrawling “MUST ESTABLISH RUN” on the wall of a cave somewhere.…Read more...

Finn, the bat dog for the Oakland Triple-A affiliate Las Vegas Aviators, has one job. Like the best of us, sometimes he’s a little slow to do it. Last night, the umpire beat him to the bat and tossed it over to the dugout. The fans didn’t like that.

World No. 479 Tara Moore was losing about as badly as it is possible to lose to No. 201 Jessika Ponchet at the ITF event Tuesday in Sunderland, England. One bagel had been served and the other was nearly done cooking. At 0-6, 0-5, 30-40, Ponchet had a match point to put Moore away. But in that rally, Moore backpedaled…Read more...

Joey Votto, who has shown in the past that he can be as rude or polite as he wants to be, chose to be courteous Tuesday night after getting thwacked in the side with a baseball. Why get angry when your team’s up 6-0, anyway?

And so we come to Dwyane Wade’s final game. Wednesday night’s showdown in Brooklyn will mean nothing to the Heat but everything to Miami. After the Pistons beat the Grizzlies on Tuesday, the Heat were mathematically eliminated from playoff contention, victims of a cold streak in April that snuffed out any hopes of…Read more...

The final minutes of Rockets-Thunder on Tuesday night were a dense flurry of batshit. They featured Russell Westbrook swooshing a runner from 27 feet, Paul George earnestly looking to scrap with P.J. Tucker, and James Harden conducting the Rockets’ woozy show as usual. All of that is weird, but some of it is almost…Read more...

This year, the only American team in Formula One debuted with a new look and a new title sponsor. Rich Energy, an “elite” energy drink for “the discerning customer,” stands proud as Haas F1’s partner for the 2019 F1 season. But few can find Rich Energy for sale, and people are having an even harder time finding out…Read more...

While some NBA teams were busy making a dramatic push for a playoff spot or sending off a beloved superstar last night, the New Orleans Pelicans were just trying to get their final game against the Warriors over with and slink away from what’s been a disastrous season. The game itself was unremarkable, but head coach…Read more...

A Flexispot Gold Box, dry shampoo, super food, and a Home Depot smart home sale lead off a home improvement-heavy Wednesday’s best deals.Read more...

Probably the Lakers will recover. They’re the Lakers. Anyway, judging by the vaguely bitchy tweets, he wasn’t actually doing all that much work in the first place, and judging by the results of the past two-plus years, he may not have been very good at it.Read more...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here: Scientists have presented the first-ever image of a black hole.Read more...

Dwyane Wade’s year-long retirement tour reached its climax last night, when Wade started and played 34 minutes in his final home game as a member of the Miami Heat (this thanks to the Detroit Pistons, whose comeback win against the Grizzlies eliminated the Heat from the playoffs). Wade said goodbye to his home fans in…Read more...

Following the Mavericks’ 120-109 win over the Suns on Tuesday, the team held a postgame ceremony to honor the career of Dirk Nowitzki. On the floor were Larry Bird, Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, Shawn Kemp, and Detlef Schrempf, who spoke about the legend’s career. When the mic finally reached Nowitzki, he confirmed…Read more...

In the top of the eighth inning with nobody on and nobody out, Kiké Hernandez hit the ball deep into left field. Thinking the ball had been absolutely crushed, Cardinals left fielder Marcell Ozuna decided to try and set himself up to make a catch that would be a strong contender for the season’s best defensive play.…Read more...

Magic Johnson stepped down tonight from his position as president of basketball operations for the Los Angeles Lakers. The news came during an impromptu press conference before the team’s game against the Blazers. According to Johnson, team owner Jeanie Buss was not aware of this decision or this event happening.

Less than week before the start of the NBA playoffs, Steph Curry went down with a non-contact ankle injury early in the Warriors’ game against the Pelicans on Tuesday. The injury occurred when Curry’s right ankle gave out during a crossover attempt, forcing him to turn the ball over. The Golden State guard stayed…Read more...

A quantum leap helped Jeopardy! contestant James Holzhauer take home a six-figure sum of money on Tuesday. More specifically, Holzhauer correctly wrote down “WHAT IS QUANTUM LEAP” in response to the Final Jeopardy answer and wagered $38,314 to take push his single-day winnings to $110,914. This final total not only…Read more...