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Edmonton Oilers bruiser Milan Lucic got hit with a $10,000 fine but no suspension by the NHL this afternoon, a day after he went after Lightning rookie Mathieu Joseph in the final period of a 5-2 Edmonton loss. With about 10 minutes remaining and the Oilers already down three, the veteran stalked the kid in his own…Read more...

Juventus had little trouble bossing Manchester United in the Champions League today. The Italian team was in control for the vast majority of the match and, if not for some shaky finishing, probably would’ve won with ease. But even during this struggle of a season, United manager José Mourinho proved he can still work…Read more...

When Donald Trump is dropping remarkable word-turds every single day, some of them will inevitably be lost with the passage of time. In the last two weeks alone the Big Wet President has renamed a simpering fatberg “Beautiful Ted,” and he’s asked every man in an audience of 6,000 to raise his hand and pledge, “You…Read more...

Jeff Sessions resigned today as Attorney General of the United States at the request of Donald Trump. The Lilliputian bigot, a former Alabama Senator better known as The Keebler Elf But Racist, will be replaced for now by chief of staff at the Justice Department Matt Whitaker, a hulking bald Iowan who will now oversee…Read more...

The Nuggets’ Nikola Jokic has been fined $25,000 for using the phrase “no homo” while discussing Wendell Carter, Jr.’s length, as NBA writer Sean Highkin reports.

We see a lot of deals around the web over on Kinja Deals, but these were our ten favorites today.

According to the Washington Post, the University of Maryland today fired Steve Nordwall, assistant athletic director of athletic training, and Wes Robinson, the head trainer for the football program, after a lengthy paid leave for both men that began on Aug. 10, in the wake of reports about Terrapins football player…Read more...

In today’s match against Shakhtar Donetsk, Manchester City star Raheem Sterling did something incredibly embarrassing when he blew a very good scoring opportunity by tripping over his own feet. Luckily for him, the referee followed that blunder with an even more monumental failure of his own when he awarded Sterling…Read more...

Former WFAN host Craig Carton, who pled not guilty to fraud charges after he was arrested last September for scamming investors out of millions of dollars through a concert ticket-selling enterprise in order to pay off his gambling debts, was found guilty on all charges today, the New York Post reported. He faces up…Read more...

Pop culture gets absorbed by sports fairly quickly, but it has to travel light years farther to reach golf. That’s why some cruel person at the PGA is now making these senior tour pros try to recreate dances from Fortnite, the popular online video game that is also the reason you see all those kids flailing on the big…Read more...

Remember two days ago when Floyd Mayweather held an hour-long press conference in Tokyo to announce that he would be fighting 20-year-old kickboxing genius Tenshin Nasukawa in Japan on New Year’s Eve? Ha ha, it was all a misunderstanding, according to Mayweather, who announced in a lengthy Instagram post that he will…Read more...

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Iris Clawson, 84-year-old NBA superfan, spent some time on the trainer’s table.

Montgomery County (Md.) police have charged a quintet of junior varsity football players from Damascus High School with a variety of rape offenses after they allegedly assaulted two of their teammates with a broomstick and attempted to do the same to two others on Halloween night. Damascus is a powerhouse football…Read more...

The New York Times’ Andrew Keh has a nice profile of Leo Borg, son of legend Bjorn and one of Sweden’s most promising tennis prospects. As the article makes abundantly clear, Bjorn and his wife Patricia are concerned that their 15-year-old son has opted to follow his 11-time-major-winning father into tennis,…Read more...

USA Badminton, the sport’s national governing body, was first audited by the United States Olympic Committee three years ago. The USOC recommended stronger internal controls and improved reporting on its finances, among other fixes, and it awarded USA Badminton an audit rating of 11; a rating of 0 is ideal. Three…Read more...

The pestilential Wizards lost last night, again, bringing their record this season to a pitiful 2-8. Terminally unfunny center Dwight Howard—whose teammates universally cannot stand him—is back from a butt injury, and the Wizards are in such a sorry state of internecine bickering that Howard is the man who has been…Read more...

In modern NASCAR, the title comes down to four drivers and a 400-mile shootout in Florida. There’s only one race left before that shootout, and three days after driver Kevin Harvick secured himself a spot in it, he’s now lost his guarantee and sits at risk of playoff elimination—all thanks to a huge penalty.

Dez Bryant has finally found a team that’ll give him what he wants, and it’s a pretty good team, too. The New Orleans Saints have agreed to sign the former Cowboys receiver to a one-year deal for the rest of the season.Read more...

The 2018 midterms handed progressives a lot of crushing defeats, but there were still a few bright spots: all across the country, some of the worst racists, homophobes, and bigots of the Republican Party lost their elections. They probably feel pretty bad about themselves right now. Maybe they even cried?

In England, Halloween ends and gives way to November in various ways: Pumpkins left on doorsteps begin their neglected descent into rot; the seasonal coffee flavoring changes to gingerbread; James McClean begins receiving death threats from a certain brand of soccer fan, including among his own supporters.

The rivalry between Boca Juniors and River Plate, the two biggest clubs in Argentine soccer, is dubbed the Superclásico. This “Super” qualifier isn’t meant to imply that the game’s quality is typically better than Spain’s more heralded Clásico. Instead, it’s a reference to the fans, who are super-charged,…Read more...

Democrats have the House. Besides not passing horrific bills for a change, what should they do? They should start holding hearings on voter suppression. And they should keep on holding them.Read more...

It’s a phenomenal time to be a chess fan. We can follow live action from thousands of games all around the world on our phones, from elite super-tournaments to the smallest club competitions. Freely available learning and training resources by far supersede anything the famed Soviet system could ever have offered. The…Read more...

Last night, after what feels like decades of consuming Zion Williamson’s high school highlights and watching a few instances of him beating up on hapless Canadians, we finally got to see what the freshman can do against real D-I competition. What he can do is really fuck some people up.

Gizmodo In Tuesday’s Absolute Worst Vote, California Opts for Year-Round Daylight Saving | Kotaku The Hater’s Review Of Red Dead Redemption 2 | Jalopnik At $39,500, Could This 1992 Ferrari 348Tb Prove a ‘Grate’ Deal? | Lifehacker The Best Podcasts for Falling Asleep | The Takeout Burger King trolls Kanye West over his…Read more...

Oooh, buddy, you’d better take care and keep your kids well back, because though it’s barely November, the stove is on and it is one hot fucking stove.

As frigid winter temps set in, there’s no such thing as too many blankets. Amazon agrees; they’ve added three especially cozy options of different weights, sizes, and colors, all 30% off, to their Gold Box today. Each is made from breathable cotton, so you won’t get too hot, and features a snuggly waffle-weave texture…Read more...

If you’re in a bind with what shoes to wear to your office holiday party, or just need to trash your old, scuffed loafers, you’re in luck. Amazon is marking down a bunch of dress shoes from Dapper Shoes Co. and you can grab a pair for way less than you’d normally pay. But this is a one-day-only deal, so don’t pace too…Read more...

CJ McCollum dropped 40 points on the Bucks during a 118-103 win at home and for some reason, he felt the need to embarrass Donte DiVincenzo at any given opportunity in the process. The signs were there early that McCollum wanted to sap the soul out of the rookie. Just over halfway through the first quarter, DiVincenzo…Read more...

In one of the most surprising upsets that could possibly happen this Tuesday evening, North Alabama’s women’s basketball team defeated Vanderbilt 74-71 in the program’s first-ever Division I game.

This goal looks straight out of a movie. In a 4-on-4 with under three minutes to go in a tie game, a little-known defenseman—in this case New York Rangers kid Neal Pionk—takes the puck from behind his own net and just ... continues with it until he scores the game-winner. It shouldn’t be possible in a legit NHL game,…Read more...

Vegas Golden Knights forward Erik Haula had to be taken off the ice on a stretcher in the third period of his team’s game against the Maple Leafs tonight, after a clean check against the boards from Patrick Marleau forced Haula’s right leg to bend in a way it’s not supposed to bend.Read more...

The hottest teen in the NHL is currently playing for the Vancouver Canucks, and his name is Elias Pettersson. The 19-year-old undersized center out of Sweden is absolutely crushing it at the start of his rookie year in the NHL, and tonight against the Red Wings, he opened the scoring with a murderous slap shot past…Read more...

Without context, this slam from Vince Carter is nothing too special. The highlight itself likely wouldn’t even crack the Top 100 of VC’s 725 career throwdowns. But the fact that he’s still doing this after two decades of NBA basketball is something incredible to behold.Read more...

On Oct. 27, the mutilated body of Brazilian soccer player Daniel Correa was found in the woods outside of São José dos Pinhais, a city near São Paulo in southern Brazil. Correa, a midfielder with São Bento on loan from Série A club São Paulo, was found by police “nearly decapitated” and castrated. Officials quickly…Read more...

Well, comrades, it’s finally here: Election Day 2018.Read more...

College football fetishizes the roles of its coaches as more than just coaches. They’re Teachers of Student-Athletes and Molders of Men. Always with the molding of men! In reality, the coaching pool is a mixture of bloated, irritable hicks and ancient, anal-retentive freaks. (Both categories are overpaid and suck at…Read more...

In the third quarter of Monday’s Pelicans-Thunder game, Oklahoma City point guard Russell Westbrook vied for a rebound and ended up with the ball of his left ankle kissing the floor. It was a gruesome scene; Westbrook screamed more than once and slapped the hardwood before he was carried to the locker room.

A manager from SB Nation, a network of sports blogs that continues to profit off the labor of unpaid and underpaid workers, recently told two writers who are still in high school that they could not be paid for their work because they are under the age of 18.Read more...

LaMelo Ball, youngest brother of Lakers guard Lonzo Ball and youngest son of fartbrained wannabe shoe salesman LaVar Ball, will enroll at an Ohio prep school to finish his high-school basketball career, according to Slam Online. It’s not known at this time exactly how this move fits into his overbearing nightmare…Read more...

Fresh off of news that the Indians, who can win their division without breaking a sweat, declared that “market constraints” (read: parsimony) have them ready to auction off their veteran players, including their very good ones signed to bargain deals, here come the Mariners, and they are sellers too.Read more...

Here is how more or less every Julius Randle possession seems to go this season.Read more...

Today, we’re talking about French fries, cocaine, college football, and more.Read more...

Before last Saturday’s Air Force-Army college football game, two dopey West Point cadets decided to prank their rivals by stealing their live mascots, which are falcons. Not knowing how to take care of an animal, these Army morons crammed the two birds into crates. It’s so unlike the military to use excessive force.Read more...

This summer, Jayson Tatum worked out a bunch with Kobe Bryant, who has made his admiration for the Celtics’ young star well known. Getting some pointers from one of the most accomplished players in NBA history seems like a self-evidently good decision, but I’m starting to fear that Tatum took more than just some tips…Read more...

Attendance and World Series TV ratings may be down, but baseball fever is alive and well in cities without the erstwhile national pastime. ExposNation says the time is now! Portland’s wannabe owner took Russell Wilson and Ciara on a helicopter tour of potential stadium sites! Las Vegas might be ready to tear down a…Read more...

Anker bluetooth earbuds, a huge Logitech sale, and personalized jewelry lead off Tuesday’s best deals from around the web.

I would like to talk to you about self-loathing football season.

The midterms won’t just determine who has control over the Senate and the House of Representatives, who’s in governor’s mansions and who’s running state legislatures, or what ballot measures voters approve. They could very well play a huge role in how our elections work over the next decade and beyond.

My headline is slightly glib, because Joel Quenneville—the second-winningest coach in NHL history—was fired for the same reason every coach is fired: the Blackhawks just aren’t very good. But the thing is, it’s really not Quenneville’s fault at all.