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Lorena begins with the search for a dick. It’s a severed dick from the body of John Wayne Bobbitt, whose wife Lorena Bobbitt cut it off in the night with a kitchen knife. Interviewed police officers who were on the scene tiptoe around the fact that they were searching for what they call, in stumbling tones, “an…Read more...

Ben DeArmond, a South Florida PGA Professional golfer, was among the field at a Web.com Tour event that kicked off yesterday. The SFPGA was excited for him, and tweeted their encouragement before he teed off:

Update: Today’s the last day of the sale, and Marmot’s making a final push with an extra 20% off the already-discounted sale prices. Just use promo code EXTRA20 to get the deal.

Nordstrom has only a couple large sales each year and today marks the beginning of their Winter Sale. Nordstrom is taking up to 40% off a boatload of styles through February 24, though the best stuff will surely sell out early. It’ll take time to look through all the stuff, so maybe pencil it in as a meeting at work…Read more...

The depressing Anthony Davis situation in New Orleans brushed right up against disaster Thursday night, when Davis sustained a shoulder injury at the very end of the first half of an eventual Pelicans win over the Oklahoma City Thunder. A significant Davis injury, sustained while playing meaningless minutes for a…Read more...

For just the second time since the calendar flipped over to 2019, the Knicks have won a regular season NBA basketball game, topping the lowly Hawks—and in Atlanta, no less—by the score of 106–91. It’s been 41 days since the team last tasted victory, a span covering a franchise-record 18 consecutive losses.Read more...

Once, long ago, I was staying the night at a friend’s house when his family’s very old Basset Hound, Frances, took an extremely unpleasant shit on the kitchen floor. There was a sturdy mound of dense turds coated in an expanding puddle of glistening, phlegmy ooze, and it had a stench that could break a person’s mind,…Read more...

The Hawks and Knicks are both currently engaged in a mad dash to the bottom of the barrel as the worst team in the league and, boy, are they doing a terrible job of not making it obvious.Read more...

MLB salary arbitration often yields stories of discontent, frustration and examples of how the sport’s labor relations are skewed towards ownership. But on the other side of this process is the story of how Sean “The Mayor” Casey was somehow able to secure an extra $200k-400k for his contract despite the fact that he…Read more...

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Phantom Thread is the best Valentine’s Day movie.Read more...

Real Madrid were always going to struggle to cope with losing Cristiano Ronaldo last summer, and during the first half of a miserable season with only one notable bright spot, that challenge proved even tougher than most would’ve imagined. However, Real Madrid are still Real Madrid, winners of four of the last five…Read more...

The Toronto Blue Jays don’t have much hope for this season, not for as long as AL East peers the Yankees and Red Sox and even the Rays continue to exceed Toronto’s abilities by such a wide margin. But there is one reason to get excited about the Blue Jays in 2019, and his name rhymes with “Rad Wheelbarrow.”…Read more...

Like two neutron stars slowly pulled together by their mutual gravity, orbiting around each other before collapsing together and obliterating everything in space around them, Alex Jones and Joe Rogan are beefing.

The University of Missouri-Kansas City women’s softball team is embroiled in a long-running controversy surrounding one of its assistant coaches. According to a report by The Kansas City Star, Greg Bachkora allegedly engaged in sexual harassment and other inappropriate behavior around the players, and would routinely…Read more...

We see a lot of deals around the web over on Kinja Deals, but these were our ten favorites today.Read more...

Duke phenom Zion Williamson is already the stuff of tall tales. One more mythic feat entered the record Tuesday during the Blue Devils’ comeback win over Louisville. While fighting Jordan Nwora for possession, Williamson’s fingertips appeared to be ... denting the basketball.Read more...

Depending on how charitable you’re feeling, you might think Campbell University senior point guard Chris Clemons is an unholy cross between Isaiah Thomas and James Harden, or just a North Carolina novelty act piling up impressive stats on the fringes of D-I basketball. Playing for a Big South team that isn’t even the…Read more...

The Times reported yesterday that the International Association of Athletics Federation (IAAF) will argue in front of the Court for Arbitration for Sport (CAS) that Caster Semenya, the 2016 Olympic champion in the 800 meters, is “biologically male.” The IAAF quickly issued a statement denying this claim, but did…Read more...

Former NBA commissioner David Stern was a guest on the Bloomberg Business of Sports podcast, where he attempted to take a jab at the NFL by arguing that if Colin Kaepernick had been a basketball player, his protest against police brutality and social injustice would not have cost him his job.

Cleveland Indians pitcher Trevor Bauer has been through arbitration once before, but after this year’s showdown—he wanted $13 million, while the team offered $11 million—he walked away from it feeling a little hurt, although he did get the money he wanted.

The setting is a ski slope in Montana, per the tag on the video. The conditions are fresh and powdery, with even more flakes coming down. The dogs are dumb and happy, until they are fast, sleek, and hurtling like little fur missiles downhill. This is pure.Read more...

Two weeks ago, Georgia businessman Ketan Shah was accused of scamming almost a dozen people out of over $750,000 when he promised to sell them Super Bowl tickets, then simply vanished. Victims included several of his family and friends, most notably his own mother, who is out $36,000, and one of Shah’s richer pals,…Read more...

In the middle of an 18-game losing streak, with the tank reaching levels deleterious to the mental health of players and viewers alike, there aren’t a whole lot of reasons to subject yourself to the Knicks. The only one I can offer you with a straight face is Mitchell Robinson, an ent with hops. Robinson can usually…Read more...

If you have a pet, there’s no reason not to take advantage of this Chewy sale. For a limited time, you’ll get an extra 50% off at checkout on dozens of items from Frisco. Cat litter. Dog poop bags. Beds. Dog sweaters. Crates. Collars. Toys. More stuff! Basically, everything except pet food is included here, just note…Read more...

A Samsung TV, Anker Lightning cables, Tribit speakers, and a bedsheet Gold Box lead off Valentine’s Day’s best deals.Read more...

When you’re part of a top European soccer club, it’s probably easy to forget that the rules, at least in theory, apply to you as well. Whether that’s Manchester City wiping their collective asses with the Financial Fair Play regulations, or Barcelona players gleefully indulging in tapping up (the equivalent to…Read more...

Back in November, pro golfer Matt Kuchar won the Mayakoba Golf Classic in Mexico, which earned him $1.3 million. It’s customary for golfers on tour to give their caddies a 10-percent cut of their tournament winnings, which means that Kuchar’s caddie, David Ortiz, should have earned $130,000 for his week of work. But…Read more...

So Bob Costas spoke openly to Mark Fainaru-Wada and ESPN—to his eventual regret, he says—about being gradually phased out at NBC after his bosses chafed at him accurately claiming that the sport of football destroys brains. You can easily read the story and see that Costas was right to speak openly against the sport,…Read more...

The Timberwolves beat the Rockets at home on Wednesday night, 121-111, and even though James Harden led all scorers as usual with 42 points on a nauseating 34 field goal attempts, he was far from unstoppable, as proven by T-Wolves rookie Josh Okogie on a pair of dramatic occasions within a couple minutes of each other.Read more...

Dwyane Wade’s season-long farewell tour spent last night in Dallas, the NBA city where he’s probably most hated, first for beating the Mavericks in the 2006 Finals by drawing an ungodly amount of fouls, and then for repeatedly antagonizing local legend Dirk Nowitzki. This is also almost certainly Nowitzki’s last…Read more...

With 12W of stereo sound, IPX7 water resistance, and a 24 hour battery, it’s no shock that the Tribit XSound Go has racked up a 4.6 star review average from over 1,000 customers, and a Wirecutter recommendation for good measure. Get it for just $21 today by stacking the on-page coupon and the promo code C5RTSSA2.Read more...

Ninja makes our readers’ favorite affordable blender, and thanks to today’s Gold Box, you can get the company’s sleek new smart model for just $62, which is actually cheaper than Black Friday.

In the fourth quarter of Wednesday night’s Warriors-Trail Blazers game, referee Kenny Mauer went to the replay monitor to check a hard foul from Draymond Green on a cutting Zach Collins. The game had already gotten chippy, after a huge Collins chase-down block at the other end seemed to unsettle the Warriors. Seconds…Read more...

Isaiah Thomas returned to the court Wednesday night for the first time in nearly 11 months, as a reserve for the Denver Nuggets. He was pretty good, going for eight points in 13 minutes of burn, and finishing plus-2 in a game the Nuggets won on another hideous Nikola Jokic game-winner.Read more...

Tonight is apparently a good night for bouncy young dudes on horrendous Eastern Conference cellar-dwellers to rise up and violently jam on someone whose season hasn’t already ended. First we had Kevin Knox posterizing the hell out of Ben Simmons, and now we’ve got Marquese Chriss of the Cavaliers thundering home a…Read more...

Joel Embiid hustled like hell to get a loose ball in the third quarter of tonight’s 76ers-Knicks game, and he endangered several lives in the process. While Tracy Morgan looked on, the Philly big man hurtled straight over Regina King as he tried to save his team’s possession. But when he cannonballed into the crowd,…Read more...

John Elway has a very poor history of acquiring quarterbacks for his Denver Broncos. This isn’t to say he can’t do it, or that he’s doomed to failure, or even that all his failures to date are necessarily his fault. Maybe he’s been really unlucky! Point is, if you’re looking for evidence that being a great quarterback…Read more...

The Knicks as a franchise have completely packed it in for the rest of the season, but the electrifying rookie Kevin Knox has yet to get the tanking memo. In the second quarter of New York’s likely eventual loss against the 76ers, Knox took a bounce pass in stride from DeAndre Jordan as he sped into the lane and…Read more...

io9 Neither Kevin Feige or Brie Larson Wanted Ms. Marvel’s ‘Bathing Suit’ Costume in Captain Marvel | Kotaku The Fallout Of Activision Blizzard’s Massive Layoffs | Jalopnik Check Out the Awesome Gas-Saving Modifications on This Hypermiling Toyota Prius | Vitals We Reject All Water Drinking Hacks | The Takeout Let’s…Read more...

This could have been an absolutely brutal stretch for Tottenham Hotspur, after suffering January injuries to two of their top players in Harry Kane and Dele Alli. Instead, Spurs have gone undefeated and undrawn in their past four Premier League games, and on Wednesday in the home leg of their Champions League tie with…Read more...

This week Japanese swimming star Rikako Ikee announced that she has been diagnosed with leukemia and is starting treatment for the cancer. Ikee, 18, won six gold medals at the 2018 Asians and was expected to contend for several medals at the 2020 Olympics, which are being hosted in Tokyo.Read more...

David Assman, pronounced OSS-man if you must know, is a Canadian railroad worker who wanted a simple thing: his last name on his license plate. He was thwarted in this quest, but got revenge in the best possible style.Read more...

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette publisher John Block is a cartoon villain come to life. But on Saturday night, the Newspaper Guild of Pittsburgh alleges that Block took his villainy to a completely different level, claiming that Block, in a fit of possibly drunken rage, became irate when encountering a pro-guild poster and…Read more...

No, his first name is not really “Poop.” It’s Cory. That doesn’t take anything away from how this transaction was delivered, though:Read more...

I really don’t know anything about dogs despite having owned one for the past six years.

The Chicago Cubs announced today that they will be launching a new regional sports network, beginning in 2020. For the new venture, called Marquee Sports Network, the Ricketts family has partnered with a real gem of a broadcasting company: Sinclair. Yeah, that Sinclair.

Jayson Tatum used to look a little different. Early in last season’s playoffs, Albert praised the Celtics rookie’s knack for catching the ball on the move while defenses were still in flux, making his knifing drives all the deadlier. At 19, with his team’s two stars broken on the sidelines, he was already acting…Read more...

Now that he has to wait until this final third of the NBA season is over before he becomes a Laker or Celtic or something other than a Pelican, Anthony Davis is in the incredibly awkward position of having to play out the rest of the season alongside teammates he publicly dissed, in front of fans who hate him, and for…Read more...

This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here.

Just two years into a four-year advertising deal with ESPN, Browns owner Jimmy Haslam is cutting it off, reportedly because he’s upset about a story ESPN published a few weeks ago about Haslam’s chaotic and unsuccessful ownership of the Cleveland Browns, the Sports Business Journal reported today.Read more...