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This is what the aftermath sounded like to Cody Parkey:Read more...

If you’re fully bought into the Fitbit ecosystem, the company’s second generation smart scale just got its best discount ever on Amazon, just in time to keep you honest about your New Year’s resolutions.

Grabbing breakfast or lunch with coworkers can be a great way to break up the day, but more often than not you’ll just wallow in your own indecision before ordering a bad $12 sandwich.

Chandler Parsons was a clear risk when the Memphis Grizzlies signed him to a four-year, $94 million contract: he was coming off consecutive knee surgeries in his last two seasons with the Mavericks. This maybe wasn’t the worst signing of the summer of 2016, but it is the one with the least surprising ending. Woj…Read more...

With ten seconds left in the game against Philadelphia, Bears kicker Cody Parkey somehow hit the goalpost and the crossbar on a 43-yard field goal attempt that would have eliminated the Eagles from the playoffs. The double-doinked kick was not good, and big-dicked god-king Nick Foles survived another day. (Update: the…Read more...

The Minnesota Timberwolves have fired head coach and president of basketball operations Tom Thibodeau, according to the Athletic’s Shams Charania and Jon Krawczynski. Assistant coach Ryan Saunders will serve as the team’s interim head coach for the time being.

The Eagles-Bears game got weird right before halftime when Eagles cornerback Cre’Von Leblanc wrested the ball from Bears receiver Anthony Miller in an impressive display of strength. The play was initially ruled an incompletion, but the inhuman standard of slow motion showed that Miller caught the ball and then…Read more...

A bizarre sequence came to the cosmically correct ending in the Chargers-Ravens game. Refs and replay officials arguably blew at least four separate calls at the 1-yard-line before the Chargers finally punched it in for a 20-3 lead.

Philip Rivers has not taken too kindly to the type of hits he’s been on the receiving end of against the Baltimore Ravens’ defense. He vented his frustration to Matthew Judon near the end of the first half when the linebacker got hurt after getting another post-throw hit in on Rivers. After the whistle, you can see…Read more...

After an offseason roster purge, the Seahawks put together a playoff push even though they ran the ball more than they threw it—an unconventional approach in today’s NFL. Russell Wilson thrived nonetheless, thanks to his mastery of the deep ball and his ability to throw with unreal accuracy into tight windows. In last…Read more...

The Ravens did not have the best start to their postseason, at least on offense.

D.C. United captain and former Premier League champion Wayne Rooney was arrested in Dulles International Airport by Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority Police in December on charges of “public intoxication/swearing.” His case was taken to Loudoun General District Court, the county where the airport is located.…Read more...

Jadeveon Clowney is one of the most talented athletes in all of American sports. Here’s Colts rookie guard Quenton Nelson stopping him cold and then backing him up two full yards before tossing him to the ground:Read more...

The Warriors may possibly be all fucked up—in fact a good sign of that is that they made 21 threes against the Kings and nearly lost—but they can still put on a show. Last night’s game featured at least four shooting records:

Winter is here and today Amazon is offering hefty discounts on a selection of OutdoorMaster ski goggles for men, women and children. These are some of the lowest prices we’ve seen on these particular models, and as with all Gold Box offers, this deal will be gone tomorrow, so get yours now.Read more...

Here’s my best attempt at transcribing the speech that maniacal Colts owner Jim Irsay gave after his team’s wild-card win over the Texans:Read more...

Seahawks kicker Seabastian Janikowski injured his leg on a missed 57-yard field goal attempt at the end of the first half of tonight’s defensive struggle against the Cowboys, and Seattle has apparently decided that they don’t trust star punter Michael Dickson to attempt even extra points.Read more...

Duke is cruising at home against Clemson tonight, and Zion Williamson is taking advantage of the blowout to test the more extreme possibilities that playing basketball holds. First, he attempted a three—he’s gone 4-for-21 from behind the arc over 13 games—and barely grazed the bottom of the net.Read more...

In the first quarter of tonight’s playoff game, Cowboys receiver Allen Hurns was tackled by Seahawks safety Bradley McDougald. As Hurns was fighting to stay upright, McDougald fell onto Hurns’s left leg and broke it.

Two interminable streaks were on the line today in Houston: the Texans’ unbroken history of playoff humiliations, and Deshaun Watson not having lost a game by more than one score since high school. The fragrance of ass that exudes from the Texans and Bill O’Brien was more powerful by far, as the Colts won 21-7 in a…Read more...

In the latest example of why things from the internet should stay on the internet, the Monday Night Football crew decided to talk about their latest online discovery: the Capt. Andrew Luck twitter account. For those unfamiliar, the parody account features an avatar of Luck’s face over a Civil War general and tweets…Read more...

The Colts have a 21-0 lead and a ridiculous 20 first downs at halftime against the Texans, and it would likely be 35-0 if not for two plays.Read more...

USC’s offensive coordinator, Kliff Kingsbury, could resign from his position with the program so that he can get a fair shot at following his NFL aspirations, according to Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio.

The good news for Álvaro Morata is that unlike Chelsea—a side that’s gone from early-season title contenders to just hoping they make the top-four—the Spanish striker has been rather consistent this season in his performances. The bad news is that that consistency has yielded a year of mediocrity for the £60 million…Read more...

“Most career points in the arena by a visiting Western Conference player” is the type of mark that’s closer to a tough trivia answer than a cherished record, and Dirk Nowitzki only needed a single field goal to pass Kobe Bryant for it in Boston last night. Everyone involved wanted the vile Kobe to lose the record, and…Read more...

The life of a political dissident can be rather strenuous to a person’s work schedule. No one in the NBA knows this better than Knicks center Enes Kanter, an outspoken critic of Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan and the government he presides over. After his team’s win over the Lakers on Friday, Kanter announced…Read more...

Peter King did what Peter King does best and decided to stand up for the moral sanctity of a league institution: the NFL’s All-Pro team. The former Sports Illustrated columnist told Mike Florio on Friday’s Pro Football Talk Live that he couldn’t “in good conscience” keep Steelers wideout Antonio Brown on his ballot…Read more...

The PlayStation Classic doesn’t have Suikoden II, which means it’s a skip for me. But people who know better than me say it’s relatively straightforward to add some yourself. And even if you don’t bother hacking it, there’s still plenty worthwhile pre-loaded games to keep you entertained.Read more...

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Have a good weekend.Read more...

“Around the [Philadelphia 76ers] organization, there’s an urgency for [Brett] Brown and his coaching staff to stabilize the situation,” according to a report today by ESPN’s Ramona Shelburne and Adrian Wojnarowski. But which situation is that? You’re not gonna believe this, but it’s the situation of Jimmy…Read more...

We see a lot of deals around the web over on Kinja Deals, but these were our ten favorites today.

When the ghost of Santi Cazorla is out here scoring braces on you for a team in the relegation zone, maybe your season’s not going so hot. And so, while the rest of the soccer world was watching the Manchester City-Liverpool banger, Real Madrid were busy writing the newest chapter of their disappointing 2018-2019…Read more...

Ohio State quarterback Dwayne Haskins lit the Big Ten on fire this season, throwing a school- and conference-record 50 touchdown passes while leading an explosive Buckeye offense to a Rose Bowl berth and win. As a redshirt sophomore, he is eligible to declare for the NFL Draft, and the bulk of NFL draftniks project…Read more...

“Mean” Gene Okerlund, the most iconic interviewer and one of the most well-known announcers period in the history of televised pro wrestling, passed away at the age of 76, WWE announced on Wednesday morning. No cause of death was given by WWE, although Okerlund’s son Tor later told the Associated Press that his father…Read more...

It doesn’t happen with skeleton or short track speed skating, and definitely not ski jumping, because we all have families that love us. But we’ve all thought about it while watching Olympic curling: How hard can it be? The calculated walking. The histrionic screams. Pushing the rock, or whatever it’s called. After…Read more...

CARSON, Calif. — I had been in Los Angeles for less than 12 hours, and the first indication I got that the Chargers even existed was when two dudes at a breakfast diner overheard me talking to a server about why I was in town, which was to write a story about the Chargers.

All the Nuggets enjoy a life-sustaining relationship with their star. Witness the Denver offense at its best when the wings are satellites orbiting around their big soft sun, Nikola Jokic. He hangs doughy and resplendent in the high post, watching them whirl and cut, waiting for them to align just right so he can beam…Read more...

The Tampa Bay Rays’ attendance issues are well-documented. So that’s likely to be the most prominent framing for stories about the team’s announcement today of an offseason stadium renovation that will reduce seating capacity by more than 5,000. And, sure, that’s embarrassing, but Rays ownership would very much prefer…Read more...

Earlier this week, the Athletic’s Tarik El-Bashir and Rhiannon Walker published an in-depth look at how Washington’s defense fell apart as the team lost six of its last seven games. Among several damning quotes from players and coaches, linebacker Zach Brown might have spoken the harshest truth, when he talked about …Read more...

We thought stories about mundane things “taking over” locker rooms couldn’t have survived beyond Bleacher Report’s breathless story about how NBA players were obsessed with drinking water, but a contender for worst entry into the genre has emerged, courtesy of food-related schlongformer extraordinaire, ESPN’s Baxter…Read more...

For the Democrats, winning the White House in 2020 will require bold moral leadership combined with savvy political strategy. But mostly, it will require challenging that soft bastard to a fight, every day, and never shutting up about it.

The act of playing soccer is so impressive because it involves 11 individuals combining their very specific and often disparate skills to create a amoeba-like whole that can progress a ball up and down a large field and into a goal using only its 22 feet while a competing body tries to stand in its way. What makes the…Read more...

Six months after they were dumped by their captain, John Tavares—the man who was both their best player and the most crucial piece of their long-term plan, who had publicly assured everyone two years ago that he would not leave them for his boyhood favorite franchise—the New York Islanders are one of the hottest…Read more...

A Logitech gaming headset, J.Crew’s factory sale, and a TRX Suspension Kit deal lead off Friday’s best deals.Read more...

Every year, the NBA releases the first round of All-Star Game fan voting as a way to drum up excitement for its yearly showcase of the best players in the league. This season’s first batch of voting holds few surprises; among the top vote-getters are LeBron James, Kyrie Irving, Steph Curry, and... Derrick Rose.

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Kawhi Leonard played in San Antonio last night for the first time since being traded from the Spurs to the Raptors, and he was booed heartily every time he touched the ball. The home crowd even whipped up enough bile to hit him with a “Traitor!” chant while he was shooting free throws. Leonard, somehow, seems to think…Read more...

Somewhere along the way, Alex Ovechkin went from “holy shit, that guy can score” to “holy shit, that guy can still score” without even a hint of a drop-off in between. He’s 33 years old now, which is generally well past a forward’s prime, and it just doesn’t seem to matter. The only real difference is that every…Read more...

How will you track your New Year’s fitness resolutions without a wearable device that tracks your runs, your heart rate, and how often you stand up? Today only, Amazon’s blowing out a bunch of refurbished Apple Watches, from the Series 1 (which was actually the second model), to the Series 2 (which added a faster…Read more...