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Hello and welcome back to the Blake Bortles show. Today, our hero valiantly tried to defeat triple coverage. You will not be surprised to learn that the throw was so ill-advised that the Cowboys got an interception almost by accident.

Cooper Kupp’s afternoon came to an early, violent end, when his left knee buckled under him as Darian Stewart brought him down with a horse collar tackle. Kupp immediately grabbed his leg in pain, and he had to be carted off the field. It initially looked like Kupp hurt his ankle, though the Rams later announced it…Read more...

I’ll be the first to admit that the taunting penalty is one of the lamest things about the NFL. In a hyper-aggressive game like football, you’ve got to give players room to express emotions on the field, otherwise it gets held in and boils over. That being said, this taunt might have been a little extra.Read more...

Things got real weird in Miami at the end of Bears-Dolphins. After a scoreless first half, Chicago roared back with three touchdowns in the third quarter. It seemed like the Brock Osweiler-led Dolphins were toast, but Albert Wilson forced overtime with a pair of long catch-and-run touchdowns, boosting Osweiler’s stats…Read more...

The Buccaneers were mere inches away from completing one of the wildest game-ending plays in NFL history. With no timeouts remaining and a five-point deficit, Jameis Winston had to march down the field and score a touchdown in just over a minute. With seven seconds left in the game on Atlanta’s 21-yard line, Winston…Read more...

Time to add another highlight to the Nathan Peterman archives. After rookie QB Josh Allen hurt himself in the second half of Buffalo’s game against the Texans, Nathan Peterman took the field, and even gave the Bills a fourth-quarter lead with a very pretty touchdown pass. Buffalo’s defense was mauling Deshaun Watson,…Read more...

After publicly demanding a trade from the Wolves right before the start of the regular season, Jimmy Butler has definitely burnt through a great deal of his popularity in Minnesota. But he’s prepared to face whatever welcome the fans are willing to give him during the team’s home opener against the Cavaliers on…Read more...

This is a legal tackle, but good lord, it looked painful as hell. I’m just happy that Jadaveon Clowney didn’t yank Chris Ivory’s dreadlock all the way out.

Chargers receiver Tyrell Williams caught a nice leaping touchdown in the end zone to take a 20-3 lead over the Browns, and Cleveland’s fans booed loudly. They weren’t booing the score so much as the officials, who they thought missed a false start penalty on Chargers left tackle Russell Okung.Read more...

D.J. Moore is having an awful day. The Panthers first round pick has been really helpful for Washington this afternoon, handing over the ball twice, as well as helping them out with their field position. First, he misplayed a Matt Palardy punt and gave Washington a bonus 20 yards. After the Panthers forced a…Read more...

Amari Cooper was taken into the locker room after being on the wrong end of a helmet-to-helmet hit from Seahawks safety Bradley McDougald. On 2nd-and-20, Derek Carr sent an errant throw down towards Cooper’s shins, leaving him in an exposed position to get blown up the way that he did. No penalties were called on this…Read more...

Whenever the Bengals and Steelers meet, things inevitably get ugly. The worst and most hallowed AFC North tradition is the biannual (God willing only biannual) yelling match between these two teams, and Dre Kirkpatrick and JuJu Smith-Schuster got things started early today with a little scuffle. Props to Kirkpatrick…Read more...

The Dolphins scored first in their game against the Bears today and while head coach Adam Gase should be celebrated for somehow getting an offense to succeed under the helm of Brock Osweiler, it’s not like Miami didn’t have any help getting near the end zone.

Considering how long the Stanley Cup celebrations over the summer lasted for the Washington Capitals, it’s a feat in its own right that they’re able to play any hockey at all, let alone win a game or two. Evgeny Kuznetsov in particular has shown that he’s shaken off the championship hangover, leading the team in…Read more...

The Oakland Raiders have been a disaster this season, which should surprise nobody, since they spent the offseason backing up the Brinks truck for washed-up geezer Jon Gruden, trading the best defensive player in the NFL, and completing the saddest player transaction of the summer. Their lone win this season came…Read more...

A season that began with momentary optimism for the Miami Dolphins has slowly regressed to become the staple of comical mediocrity we all expected it to be. The team’s prospects against the Chicago Bears and their man-eating defensive unit for Sunday got even worse when the Dolphins announced that starting quarterback…Read more...

The Boston Globe’s Spotlight team just published the first part of a six-part series on the life of former Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez, who died by suicide last spring in a Massachusetts prison. It’s a heartbreaking story that digs deeper into the foundational early years of Hernandez’s short, painful life,…Read more...

As first reported by PhillyVoice reporter Kyle Neubeck, the Philadelphia 76ers issued an apology on Saturday afternoon for some gross tweets made by Mike Muscala’s father Bob. The elder Muscala has apparently operated the anonymous account @MuskieBobber for years alongside his professional account, @ChemicalHealth,…Read more...

History was made at the Vazgen Sargsyan Republican Stadium in the Armenian capital on Saturday as Gibraltar won its first ever competitive match, beating Armenia 1-0. The self-governing territory was first officially recognized by UEFA in 2013 and had lost 22 competitive matches since, including all of their Euro 2016…Read more...

Florida stormed back from a 21-3 deficit against Vanderbilt on Saturday to escape the Commodores home field with a 37-27 win. But that was far from the most important highlight of the game. Late in the first half, Gators linebacker James Houston IV laid this monstrous hit on Vanderbilt’s Dare Odeyingbo during a punt …Read more...

USA Gymnastics announced the appointment of Mary Bono as interim CEO and president of USA yesterday. Bono previously worked at Faegre Baker Daniels Consulting in Washington, DC. Before that, she was a congresswoman from California. She was first elected in 1998 to replace her husband Sonny Bono, who died in a skiing…Read more...

The Joakim Noah era in New York will finally come to an end after the Knicks announced they were waiving the 33-year-old on Saturday. The New York Daily News reports that Noah did not take a buyout deal, which would have reduced his earnings, as well as the cap hit on the Knicks, and was waived outright. The team will…Read more...

The latest bit evidence to support bringing the relegation system into college football comes from the incredibly under-anticipated matchup between Rutgers and Maryland. Near the end of the first quarter, the Scarlet Knights failed to complete one of the simplest tasks someone could be asked to do on a football field:…Read more...

Heat president Pat Riley released a statement on Friday denying that he ever called Tom Thibodeau a motherfucker during negotiations with the Timberwolves coach and president for disgruntled superstar Jimmy Butler.

Mike Kimbel is only 21 years old and already he’s become a history-maker at Bellator. The bantamweight needed just six seconds to knockout his opponent, Alex Potts, during his undercard bout at Bellator 207 on Friday, tying him for the fastest knockout in the promotion’s history.Read more...

The San Francisco 49ers released a photo gallery on Friday commemorating the franchise’s 68-year history of games against the Green Bay Packers in the lead up to their matchup on Monday Night Football. The gallery included photos of nearly every notable player to put on a San Francisco jersey from Hall of Famers like…Read more...

Halloween is just over two weeks away, and if you haven’t bought costumes yet for your children or your fur children, Amazon’s running a big costume sale for both today. Dress up your dog in a modified version of that inflatable T-Rex costume, or let your kids pick their favorite Star Wars character; they probably…Read more...

Brewers pitcher Brandon Woodruff took over for Gio Gonzalez in the third inning of tonight’s NLCS opener, presumably to get through the Dodgers lineup a few times. He aced the third inning, and the promptly sent a Clayton Kershaw fastball 407 feet out to center field for a towering donger.

The Crew have been saved after all.Read more...

French newspaper L’Équipe has a report today that says the recent Champions League match between Paris Saint-Germain and Red Star Belgrade is currently being investigated by UEFA and the French authorities for possibly being fixed.Read more...

Football is loud. The players crashing into each other, the whistles, the referees throwing yet another flag, the crowds complaining about those flags, the flyovers by government jet fighters: It’s all loud.Read more...

There are no circumstances under which you should feel bad for Chris Christie, but here’s the one that seems closest. Heading into the primary campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination, Christie had a brand that worked for him. He wasn’t a great or even terribly good governor of New Jersey—he was…Read more...

Kittens are cute. So cute, in fact, that it can seem unimaginable they would be capable of hatching diabolical plots like stealing food off the counter, clawing your foot if the foot moves under a blanket, peeing repeatedly on your favorite rug, or fashioning itself into a cat cannonball and launching through an empty…Read more...

As a fan of anything that you pay a lot of attention to, you accept a certain amount of, let’s call it, imperfection. That’s too polite, of course, for pro wrestling, given the amount of sexism, homophobia, and racial caricature baked into wrestling’s past. But you hope and at times agitate for things to improve. The…Read more...

Jimmy Butler does not want to play for the Minnesota Timberwolves. He’s made this desire perfectly clear, first by demanding a trade and then by staging a media circus built on the one-two punch of humiliating his teammates in practice and then going on TV immediately afterwards to continue shitting on them. Now would…Read more...

Maybe you’ve seen the story about the lifelong Buffalo Bills fan who passed away last weekend, and in his obituary requested six Bills players to serve as pallbearers “so they can let him down one last time.”

The start of this NFL season has been marked, over and over again, the softest possible roughing the passer penalties. Defenders are not allowed to land on top of quarterbacks, which means that they must somehow levitate or something after completing a sack. The rule was tweaked to emphasize protecting quarterbacks…Read more...

It’s 11 a.m. deep in the Mojave Desert, the sun already laser-boring into everything it touches, and Bob is driving the stagecoach a hair too fast, speeding down Fury Road while tidily dispatching his not-first Bud Light of the morning. The whiskey still fixed to the stagecoach’s roof rattles as the scenery whips by:…Read more...

The Giants are the worst sort of bad team: one whose braintrust clearly believed was a contender for a playoff spot in the offseason, only to be revealed as a total moribund disaster once the regular season began. Most of this is because Eli Manning is a husk of himself and presently either unable or unwilling to…Read more...

If you aren’t yet a Uniqlo HEATTECH convert, $10 tees, turtlenecks, leggings, and more, for both men and women, may do the trick. They will keep you warm throughout the winter and looking like more like an adult who knows how to dress for the weather, rather than Ralphie’s brother in A Christmas Story.

Yesterday, USA Gymnastics hosted its selection camp to help choose the five-person team for the upcoming world championships in Doha. I say “help choose” because the results from this competition—or any competition for that matter—aren’t truly determinative of who will be named or not. Final team composition will be…Read more...

I can hear it already: the intolerant left strikes again! I do not care. If I’m never forced to hear, read, or otherwise consume another utterance from Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake, it will be too soon.

OxyLED is best known for its battery-powered light strips, but this discounted kit plugs into an AC outlet, and is designed specifically for under-cabinet installation.Read more...

The Penguins finally showed some defensive fortitude last night, beating the Golden Knights 4-2 after giving up 11 goals in their first two games. But much more fun than Casey DeSmith’s 35 saves in his season debut were the first three Penguins goals, which came in natural hat trick form courtesy of the very good dog…Read more...

Usain Bolt’s conversion from track star to soccer player continues apace. In August, Bolt got his first taste of the footy when he came off the bench for Australian team Central Coast Mariners in a friendly match and actually acquitted himself fairly decently. He built on that performance today, making his first start…Read more...

Here’s a fun thing to think about: Has an offense with the quality of skill players that the New York Giants possess ever looked this bad? This is a team that lines up one of the best wide receivers in football, a rookie running back who treats defenders like bad guys in a Kung Fu movie, and a big, fast tight end who…Read more...

io9 The First Teaser for Disney’s Live-Action Aladdin Is Pure Magic | Jalopnik At $31,000, Could This Low Production 1991 Chevy Camaro Z28 Raise Any Interest? | Kotaku The World Ends With You: Final Remix: The Kotaku Review | Lifehacker The One Hit Wonders Nostalgia Playlist | The Takeout Ask The Salty Waitress: Can I…Read more...

Predators-Jets is the best sort of rivalry: one born almost solely from the fact that both teams are very good and each stands in the other’s way of the Central title, the West, and, perhaps ultimately, a Cup. And even though we’re months and months away from what we all hope is a playoff rematch of last year’s…Read more...

This is all patently absurd:

Any time you have to rinse something before or after you chop it, reach for Joseph Joseph’s appropriately named Rinse & Chop Plus cutting board, which incorporates a folding design and a colander to let you easily perform both common kitchen actions, without dirtying an extra dish. It’s rarely discounted from its…Read more...