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Today, we’re talking about toilet flushing, fame, farts, Trump push-ups and more.

In an unwelcome throwback to offseasons past, Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck has been largely absent from most team offseason practices and workouts as he has dealt with a lingering injury. This time, the problem is not his chronically borked throwing shoulder, but rather a left calf strain that he sufferedRead more...

Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Curt Schilling, former major-league pitcher and World Series hero who squandered away so much goodwill that the Red Sox no longer want anything to do with him, has for the umpteenth time floated the idea of running for office. What makes this time different is that Donald Trump gave him a signal boost.Read more...

Antonio Brown is due back at Raiders training camp today, following an extended absence that was caused by his accursed feet and his displeasure at no longer being able to wear the kind of helmet he prefers. Brown’s appeal to the NFL to allow him to go on wearing his old helmet failed, but that doesn’t mean he’s given…Read more...

The phrase “white nationalist terrorism” has become newly ubiquitous in the wake of the El Paso shooting.

Ligue 1 side Olympique Marseille have released 33-year-old center back Adil Rami, but reportedly not for his rapidly deteriorating skill set or advancing age. No, the French club severed ties with Rami due to “gross misconduct,” resolving a bizarre situation that involved a reality show, a missed training session, and…Read more...

Just a few years ago, when TV bias lights first came onto our radar, you were lucky to find a strip for $20. And that strip would require you to push a physical button on the strip, or at the very least, keep track of a remote. Oh, and the lights were white. Don’t like it? Too bad.

This has been the year of the baseball sons. Vlad Jr. and his tremendous rump have been around since April, and some big taters have been mashed. Bo Bichette and his feathered locks joined the fray about two weeks ago, and he has been a delight. Cavan Biggio has been... around... doing stuff. However! No baseball son…Read more...

Here’s a nice picture of Odell Beckham Jr., one of the many beautiful, famous people featured in Calvin Klein’s underpants campaign. You know him, yeah? Football player for the Cleveland Browns, formerly of the New York Giants, and unfortunate target of Schmena Lunham’s laser focus at the Met Gala a few years ago.…Read more...

The Reds outfielder with the cool nickname and the even cooler actual name was called up on Aug. 1 after the Reds shipped away Yasiel Puig, and he’s done nothing but hit dingers. Dinger after dinger after dinger. Here’s Monday night’s dinger:

Remember way back in May, when Yankees infielder Gleyber Torres recorded his fourth multi-homer game against the Orioles of just this season? Remember how Torres became just the fourth player in MLB history to record four multi-homer games against one team in one season? Remember how O’s broadcaster Gary Thorne was…Read more...

Wide receiver Rishard Matthews was released by the New Orleans Saints on Saturday. Head coach Sean Payton, speaking cryptically of the breakup, said of Matthews, “it’s not for everyone,” which together with a “left squad designation” accompanying his release indicated that Matthews voluntarily bailed on a reasonable …Read more...

Real Salt Lake head coach Mike Petke was fired by the team Sunday, a little over two weeks after his meltdown at the end of his team’s 1–0 loss to Tigres UANL in the Leagues Cup. Between then and now Petke was hit with three different suspensions plus a fine over the incident, which was notable both for its profane…Read more...

Sometimes, you’ve just got to dust off an old classic. And ruin it. Last month, that’s exactly what one Mario Maker 2 player did with the original Super Mario Bros’ opening level, transforming it into a lava stick hellscape for freaks who like to be voraciously licked by slavering flame tongues. The nightmare obstacle…Read more...

Alex Rodriguez has many things that I will never have. A career .930 OPS. A job on television. A cake with crystals on it from Jennifer Lopez. A gigantic two-way glass window next to his crappin’ toilet, situated prominently in one of the busiest cities in the Western hemisphere. Some of the many fine and precious…Read more...

You hate when a great story about massive foot blisters, home-painted football helmets, ultimatums, and coaches supporting their players through clenched teeth and retirement threats takes an obvious plot twist, but here we are: Antonio Brown v. Roger Goodell:

Just a week after the NCAA tweaked its agent rules in a way that sure seemed to specifically target Rich Paul for exclusion, the organization has caved, changing the rules a second time to ensure Paul will still be able to represent college basketball players who are testing the waters of the NBA.Read more...

Vicente Luque took a split decision over Mike Perry in Saturday’s UFC card in Uruguay, and the aftermath to the loser’s face was brutal. The turning point of the match was when Luque split Perry’s guard with a jumping right knee and crushed Perry’s nose.

The opening weekend of the Premier League season was in some ways bittersweet—the sweetness provided by the return of the best league in the world, the bitterness from the sad end of England’s noble resistance to the scourge of VAR. To anyone expecting to witness the inherently corrosive effects of video replay play…Read more...

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The editorial staff of The Ringer announced this morning that they have formed a union with the WGA East. In their letter of intent, Ringer staffers said they want to negotiate with management for improvements in areas such as compensation, benefits, severance, diversity, and the establishment of a 401k program. Now…Read more...

So long as she’s able to play—and even if she’s half-mummified in physio tape—Bianca Andreescu doesn’t lose. The 19-year-old Canadian won the Rogers Cup on Sunday in front of the home crowd, continuing a season as woozy as it is dominant.

Former Ohio State diving coach William Bohonyi was sentenced to four years in prison on Monday on two counts of sexually abusing Estee Pryor, a diver who trained with the Ohio State University Diving Club when she was underage.

Remember last year when Ed Werder, who was laid off from ESPN in 2017, went on a Twitter rant about how people who encouraged women to apply for jobs in sports were “disqualifying” men from getting those jobs? Remember when he pretended that there wasn’t a massive gender imbalance in sports media in favor of white men…Read more...

Some people are fans of the Carolina Panthers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Atlanta United forward Josef Martínez can’t stop breaking records. Last season, the 26-year-old Venezuelan shattered the MLS single-season scoring record with 31 goals, four more than the previous record of 27. On Sunday, he added two more records to his collection with this towering header against NYCFC:Read more...

A Crayola Gold Box, Tarte Cosmetics’ Friends & Family Sale, and BOGO video games lead off Monday’s best deals from around the web.

The Yankees beat the Blue Jays 1-0 on Sunday afternoon, with Bombers closer Aroldis Chapman completing the epic task of taking down Toronto’s highly touted youngsters for the final outs and the save. After Masahiro Tanaka allowed a leadoff single to Brandon Drury, Chapman came on to face three famous sons in a…Read more...

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Conceded: It is extremely rude that, after Saturday’s loss spurred a blog making fun of the Orioles, Sunday’s thrilling comeback win results in ... a blog making fun of the Orioles. But if you can’t abide being rude to the O’s when they do something like this, then we can’t be friends.

American gymnast Simone Biles won the all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championship on Sunday, making this the sixth consecutive year she’s taken home that title. She also unleashed two moves that no gymnast has ever done in competition before.

Antonio Brown’s training camp has featured controversy from head to toe, and just two total days of practice. On Friday we learned that the reason the Raiders wideout hasn’t been practicing has less to do with his frostbitten feet and more to do with the fact that the NFL won’t allow him to practice or play with his…Read more...

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Ron Minegar, the chief operating officer and executive vice president of the Arizona Cardinals, was arrested on Saturday on suspicion of DUI in Chandler, Ariz., according to a police report obtained by ABC15 Arizona. Minegar was pulled over around 11:30 p.m. for speeding, failure to drive within one lane of traffic,…Read more...

It had been a while since a trade of significant consequence went down in the NFL, so the Minnesota Vikings decided to remedy that by giving up way too much for another team’s backup kicker.

Two American athletes used their literal platforms on medalist podiums at the Pan-American Games in Lima, Peru to draw attention to social injustice in the United States. Fencer Race Imboden displayed his protest on Thursday in the form of taking a knee, while hammer thrower Gwen Berry raised her fist on Saturday.…Read more...

Phoenix Mercury center Brittney Griner was one of six players ejected from her team’s game against the Dallas Wings on Saturday. The ejections occurred when after Griner took exception to getting punched in the head while going for a rebound and began to chase Dallas’ Kristine Anigwe—the puncher in question—down the…Read more...

Reds rookie Aristides Aquino decided to have his breakout game against the Cubs on Saturday with three home runs in his first three at-bats, and a new record of becoming the first rookie to smash a dinger in three consecutive innings.

The last time that Raiders coach Jon Gruden had to deal with controversy surrounding a star player on his team, he shipped Khalil Mack off to the Bears and spent most of the next season defending the trade during a 4-12 season. This year, he’s taking a bit of a more level-headed approach, despite the controversy being…Read more...

In only the second-worst beatdown the Orioles have suffered at the hands of a Texas-based team in Camden Yards, the Astros ran roughshod all over Baltimore in a 23-2 win on Saturday. The hapless O’s were only allowed two innings of scoreless respite as the remaining seven included at least one run that evening and…Read more...

An anti-abortion billboard was spotted in Tuscaloosa, Ala. on Friday that called the hometown of the University of Alabama the “abortion capital” of the state, and claimed that 19,000 future fans of the Crimson Tide have been aborted. A picture of the billboard was posted on Twitter, but the post that featured that…Read more...

Two men were arrested on Thursday outside of Arsenal midfielder Mesut Özil’s North London home after getting into an altercation with the security staff stationed outside, according to The Telegraph. Both of the 27-year-old men were charged on Friday and are due to appear at Highbury Corner magistrates’ court next…Read more...

BYU star forward Yoeli Childs has been suspended nine games for this upcoming season because the NCAA determined that the player had hired an agent before filing the proper paperwork with the association. The announcement came on Friday and Childs addressed a group of local media members in Provo, Utah about the…Read more...

Manchester City signed Spanish midfielder Rodri this past summer from Atletico Madrid for a club record £62.8m fee. Since then, Pep Guardiola has been heaping praises upon the 23-year-old, telling BBC Sport that he’s become more and more convinced the player will be one of the club’s best signings an “incredible for…Read more...

Even on days where she’s far from perfect, Simon Biles is still able to prove that labeling her as the greatest gymnast of all time might be an understatement. The latest example of this came on Friday in Kansas City, Mo. at the U.S. Gymnastics championships, when she decided to become the first person in history to…Read more...

On Monday, a crew from the city of Huntington, W. Va. cut down a tree that residents nearby determined was potentially dangerous after a storm blew a branch through the windshield of a parked car. Unfortunately, the crew’s approach to their job was rather negligent and the tree fell on top of a different car that…Read more...

It was always going to be just a matter of time before Roth’s suggestion that the Mets will never lose again would come around and bite him in the ass, and in the top of the fourth of the team’s game against the Nationals on Friday, it certainly looked like that’s what was about to happen.

Connecticut police officers drew their guns on Yankees general manager Brian Cashman at a gas station on Friday after the team executive was mistaken for an armed car thief, according to a report from the New York Post.

After a short summer break, the Premier League is back. Liverpool hosted Norwich City in the first match of the season today in a game that featured five goals, several wondrous feats of athleticism, and one pitch invader who made it onto the field just long enough to show the world his dick and ass crack.Read more...