The Register

Why Stephen Fry never needs to open his mouth again Recorded voice evidence will never quite be the same again. It might not even be "evidence".…

Key states swing behind the Donald, California votes for Clinton and legalises pot With mop-haired politico octopus Donald Trump beating Hillary Clinton to the White House, the Canadian Immigration website has crashed under the weight of US citizens seeking an escape.…

Giants grab growing share of services market If customer spending on cloudy infrastructure and platform services in Q3 was a tin of beans, then a full-bellied AWS might have used the resulting wind to power its bit barns.…

'BearSSL' strips crypto back to the bare metal Into a world already crowded with big name alternatives to OpenSSL, an indy project could look like “yet another SSL implementation,” but Vulture South suspects there are good reasons to take a close look at the just-launched BearSSL.…

Don't get too worried, devs, this is only for some dynamic optimisation algos ... for now Researchers at MIT’s Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory (CSAIL) and Stony Brook University reckon they've found a way to automatically adapt dynamic optimisation code for multi-core CPUs, potentially removing the need for hand-coding of some tricky problems.…

Apple, media, 400-pound hackers, look to be in trouble The United States Presidential Election has been run and at the time of writing looks almost certainly to have been won by Donald Trump.…

€13 BEELLION at stake in appeal The Republic of Ireland has signalled its intention to push back against the European Union (EU) over accusations that it's offering a tax haven to Apple.…

Portuguese-speaking retro-gamers, your time is now Brazilian outfit Tectoy has won the right to manufacture new versions of Sega's 16-bit MegaDrive console and is taking pre-orders for the venerable gaming machines.…

Newton-busting space drive might get us to Mars, very slowly An unpublished scientific paper by NASA engineers has been leaked. It appears to show that the EM Drive – a form of space drive that appears to produce thrust by electricity alone, in violation of Newton's Third Law of physics – may actually works.…

If call quality is even worse than usual, this could be the reason Microsoft has kicked off a Skype Insiders program for people “interested in providing feedback to shape and enhance the Skype experience!”…

Will apply local sales taxes to cloud services from now on The world's ongoing efforts to get multinational technology companies paying and collecting the proper amount of tax has claimed another win, with Adobe advising it will add Australia's Goods and Services Tax (GST - think VAT, British readers and sales tax in North America) to the cost of its Creative Cloud.…

Hint: next time, buy a firewall before you're attacked Residents in two apartment buildings in the Finnish town of Lappeenranta had a chill-out lasting more than a week after a DDoS attack battered unprotected building management systems.…

The GSMA is on the case, and carriers are listening An analyst outfit is warning that the Internet of Insecure Junk Things industry's enthusiasm for proprietary protocols will come to an abrupt halt once standards bodies get their acts together.…

Mystery surrounds bugs that delayed voting in crunch North Carolina battleground Polling stations in the swing US state of North Carolina will stay open late after mystery glitches stopped electronic voting systems from working.…

Corporate HQ raided by South Korea's corruption busters Police in South Korea have raided the corporate offices of Samsung in connection with a high-profile government corruption probe.…

Lord & Taylor axes scores people from corporate tech HQ Retail chain Lord & Taylor is closing down its US tech headquarters in St Louis, Missouri, and axing 77 IT jobs in the process.…

Ministerial oversight of telecoms networks and the kit they buy is back on the agenda Australia's attempt to make its attorney-general Netadmin-in-chief is back on the legislative agenda.…

Don't worry, just a few more hours until it's over (for now) A judge in Nevada has thrown out a lawsuit from a lawyer representing Donald Trump, arguing that she would not order the release of election poll worker information due to "Twitter trolls."…

New Backpack gear shifts tons of data for VR future It’s odd thinking of Facebook as an infrastructure company rather than a purveyor of cat pictures and fake news. However, the web giant is rapidly becoming one of the key leaders in telecommunications design – as demonstrated with the firm’s latest release.…

Internet Architecture Board grabs stake, eyes coffin: 'Still not dead? Let's fix that' Well, that took a while. Eighteen years after the IETF brought us IPv6 as an answer to then-looming-now-upon-us IPv4 address exhaustion, the Internet Architecture Board says: no more.…

Plus: 'Dirty COW' remains unfixed in Google OS Today is the second Tuesday of the month, and that means a fresh round of security updates from the likes of Microsoft, Adobe and Google.…

Ross Callon provides departing KISS (keep it simple, stupid) A retiring veteran of the Internet Engineering Task Force (IETF) has left the organization with a departing piece of advice: stop creating so many protocols.…

Epic failures compromise safety at Minnesota facility XtremIO storage is reportedly failing at Fairview Health Services in Minnesota, hindering patient operations.…

We have database engines, too Sandwiched between its third-quarter results and re:Invent conference, Amazon's been pitching AWS as production-ready.…

Mayor says Big Mac with fries is not traditional Tuscany fare McDonald's is suing the city of Florence for $20m after its left-wing mayor rejected Maccy D's application to open a burger joint on the historic Piazza del Duomo.…

Revamped version speeds junk mail attacks A revamped version of the Torte botnet malware is turning insecure CMS servers into spam-spewing zombies.…

But how will it stand up to the market leaders? Over a year after it was first announced, the UK music startup described as "the most ridiculous digital music launch in history" will finally be available to punters tomorrow.…

Purchase will add "complementary products" Synopsys has acquired Cigital, the software security services provider, and Codiscope, a 2015 Cigital spinoff and provider of complementary security tools.…

Spin up to Seagate's HPC User Forum at SC16 Promo You can crunch all the data you want, but you need somewhere to keep it before, during, and after.…

Monty Widenius chats with El Reg at the Big Data London conference Interview Monty Widenius, the Finnish author of MySQL and now the chief technology officer at MariaDB — a fork of MySQL — told The Register how laziness and hate drove him to create the concept for ColumnStore, MariaDB's columnar storage engine.…

We gave it a spin Review HP is making a hugely ambitious return to smartphones, billing the Elite x3 as “one device that’s every device”.…

Undetectable ghost in the controller Black Hat EU Security researchers have come up with another way to hack Programmable Logic Controllers (PLCs) at industrial plants.…

Tech vendors line up the Christmas cheer on 1 December. Lineker's lot get in earlier A second wave of double-digit price hikes are coming to a reseller or retailer near you from the start of next month, both Hewlett Packard Enterprise and Lenovo have confirmed.…

Taxi for the taxi app, please Uber rival Karhoo has confirmed it is pulling the plug on its taxi app following reports that it had burned through the best part of $250m in venture capital dosh.…

Israeli firm wants to kick serious file system ass Analysis Liran Zvibel is a Jew in Israel and sits across the table from me in a Tel Aviv restaurant eating pork chops. This is a man who doesn't mind going against the grain. He's co-founder and Chief Technical Officer of Weka.IO, a stealthy startup that is swimming against two perceived tides.…

Discovers marketing, grows 70 per cent Almost two years ago The Register predicted that Huawei would become Samsung and Apple's "worst nightmare" and the claim earned plenty of derision*. But it's happening – and faster than anyone expected.…

Network leads the pack in preparing for 5G Massive MIMO is an increasingly important element of operators’ plans for LTE-Advanced Pro and for 5G, despite a lack of devices and mass market chipsets on the near horizon. But the tests are piling up, many of them in China, Japan and Korea – but Vodafone UK is claiming the first in Europe in the 2.6 GHz TDD band.…

Commerce giant joins JCP steering group candidates lineup Online commerce giant Alibaba is among a crop of “new world” Java users seeking to shape the direction of both language and platform.…

That's the former RAF airfield in Wales, not the offshore principality The UK's Defence Electronics and Components Agency (DECA) will be overhauling European nations' F-35 fighter jet avionics at a collection of sheds in a busy enclave of north Wales.…

Future Elon-mobiles to ship with 400 kWh of free 'leccy credits, to fund more Superchargers Tesla has abandoned its practice of offering free electricity at its Supercharger facilities, the 'leccy car charging network it has built to enable long-distance journeys.…

Crypto connoisseurs finds favourite chat app protocol up to scratch Encrypted SMS and voice app Signal has passed a security audit with flying colours.…

Churn and burn marketing firms leave ICO fine factory £2.26 million in the red. London-based finance company Nouveau Finance been fined £70,000 (US$85,752, A$112,391) for hiring a spamming marketing company that sent UK residents some 2.2 million illegal SMS messages.…

Flaw allowing ads to offer dodgy apps won't be fixed for about three weeks An Android Chrome bug that's already under attack - with criminals pushing banking trojans to more than 300,000 devices - won't get patched until the next release of the mobile browser.…

Stay up Monday night because Luna's not going to be readier for a close-up for 18 years The Moon will looks a little bigger than usual next week, because it will be rather closer to Earth than usual – so close NASA says Monday, November 14th will be an “extra-supermoon” event.…

Chat app ponders procuring proper permissions from punters, Info Comish ponders punishment for non-compliance Facebook has “agreed to pause using data from UK WhatsApp users for advertisements or product improvement purposes” after a previously-announced probe by the Information Commissioner’s Office.…

Password-protect your voicemail, if you can Netflix has reworked its password reset function after an Austrian security researcher demonstrated how an attacker could spoof it to take over a victim's account.…

Internet of things influencing important things Comment The distributed denial of service attack that took down DNS provider Dyn, and with it access to a chunk of the internet, was one of the largest such assaults seen.…

Azure Container Engine is now open source Faced with an increasingly untidy template-base in the Azure Container Service (ACS), Microsoft's decided the best way to get things under control is to open source it and let the community handle things.…

HNAP stack overflow revealed It's 2016, and D-Link still can't get its Home Network Automation Protocol (HNAP) implementation right.…

LogRhythm Webinar explains how to respond to the evolving ransomware threat Promo Ransomware is a type of malware that sees criminals make your critical business data inaccessible by encrypting it and throwing away the decryption key … until you pay them a ransom.…