The Register

Here's a load of management babble from Insight Enterprises Anyone that thinks Hunger, Heart and Harmony sounds like a Mumford & Sons-type folk band would be wrong: they represent the core values of IT reseller Insight.…

Gap in 'market' exploited by miscreants Cybercrooks have put together a new strain of ransomware that lifts corporate data as well as encrypting files on compromised computers.…

Our culinary heritage must be protected Any reader who's still undecided as to how to vote in the forthcoming, and increasingly tedious, EU referendum, should consider a Brexit future without the culinary protection afforded us by membership of the happy European family of nations.…

Tech's fail sparks emergency law, inquiry call MPs have taken the Government’s digital masters to task for their inability to handle online voter registration for this month’s European Union referendum.…

El Reg teams up with IBM Cloudant for coding comp Promo A coding competition is coming soon, brought to you by The Register in partnership with IBM - where you have the chance of winning some serious Alienware and Oculus gear.…

A smile from Yuri at the end of 186-day ISS stint? Cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko is preparing to depart the International Space Station (ISS), and it remains to be seen if the famously grim-faced Russian cracks a smile when he finally touches down on terra firma.…

Click here right now for the VERY revealing answer No. ®…

You call it a gravy train. We call it #disruptive #innovation ¡Bong! I have always considered myself an internationalist. Expensive Swiss private school. Los Angeles rehab clinic. East London loft workspace and incubator.…

He got bored and changed jobs to a project where he waited another year ON-CALL Welcome again to On-Call, our Friday festival celebrating the many odd things Reg readers have been asked to do at work.…

Typoslab gains pay-by-the-month option, with bundled support and training First Microsoft turned Office into software-as-a-service. It's currently transforming Windows into Windows-as-a-service. And now it's decided that its Surface Pro typoslab should become Surface-as-a-service, to help businesses buy more of the hybrid machines.…

Polar storms spin out in predictable directions as seasons change Mars boffins reckon they've found seasonal found patterns in Mars' dust storms.…

The wrong people can access data on Data Domain, NSX and vRealize VMware and EMC have each revealed security nasties.…

IDC knocks another two per cent off its sales predictions The abacus-shufflers of analyst firm IDC have revised their 2016 PC sales forecasts downwards.…

Beijing wants to 'improve the government’s management of major public health issues' China will create “more comprehensive regulation and legislation in personal information and data protection” to facilitate a new national big data scheme it hopes will improve health policy and services.…

How Chipzilla and Microsoft hope to get one step ahead of hackers Intel is pushing a neat technique that could block malware infections on computers at the processor level.…

Don't expect products to converge any time soon, though Lenovo hopes its new smartphones and new phablets will help reverse its tumble in the mobile market.…

Now that's what I'm Tolkien about A new paper in the journal Nature suggests that a hobbit-sized relative of modern humans shrunk to their diminutive status as a result of being trapped on an island.…

Ex-Agilent staffer faces 10 years in the cooler A former sysadmin with HP-spinoff Agilent has pleaded guilty to intentionally damaging the company's systems after he was laid off.…

Surprise brief in long-running Samsung saga The US Department of Justice (DoJ) has recommended that the half-billion-dollar judgment awarded to Apple for iPhone patent infringement be thrown out.…

32 million account details up for grabs Twitter has said it isn't the source of a database containing 32,888,300 login details of its users, but that it is investigating.…

NTIA says yes to plan to move IANA contract to private outfit The US government has formally approved a plan to transition control of the internet's administrative tasks to the private sector.…

Annual Bilderberg jamboree kicks off in Germany It's the conspiracy theorists' favorite time of the year, as the annual Bilderberg Meeting kicks off on June 9 at the luxurious Taschenbergpalais Hotel in Dresden.…

ECHELON's Sugar Grove Station goes under the hammer Those readers with a few bucks to spare and who fancy owning an entire US base with a decidedly spooky history should proceed directly here for the opportunity to bid on Sugar Grove Station in West Virginia.…

Just to let you know who's in charge here, guys Alphabet shareholders demanding greater shareholder scrutiny and more transparency over its lobbying network were snubbed by Google executives at its AGM yesterday.…

'If I were living in extreme poverty, I’d want to raise chickens' Not satisfied with trying to stamp out malaria, recycling poo water into something people can drink and subjecting world + dog to software over the years, now Bill Gates wants to solve hunger in sub-Saharan Africa.…

For the first time, execs were on trial too Uber has been slapped with a €800k fine by a French court today for its illegal POP taxi service.…

Takes 'virtualized Big Data services' to new level of virtual Startup Iguaz.io has unveiled a virtual (big) data services architecture which it says can deliver data in the needed firms to apps in the Big Data infrastructure without multiple and repeated data copying and conversion.…

Leave? You'll miss out on 100% unavailability of Talk2Go... TalkTalk's Talk2Go app has been offline for eight months - since that breach, in fact - but that hasn't stopped the business reminding those trying to leave that they'd be missing out on it if they went elsewhere.…

Inflatable habitat in good shape The hatches have been closed on the International Space Station's (ISS) Bigelow Expandable Activity Module, following three days' work by astronaut Jeff Williams installing sensors and other hardware inside the pump-up space podule.…

We've even seen it, says black-hole-diet-watching astroboffin Astronomers working at the Atacama Large Millimetre Array radio telescope in Chile have observed black holes swallowing up cold dense clouds for the first time, according to new research published today in Nature.…

'So much of the narrative is around the unicorns' One of the architects of DevOps has said being a 900-year-old organisation with a mainframe is no barrier to overhauling your technology operations, even if you're a European outfit that hasn’t seen a green field development since the 19th century.…

I just wanted a screwdriver and some cheesy wallpaper French DIY goods store Castorama has pulled its website offline after miscreants manipulated the site search function to suggest rude versions of household appliances.…

Deadpan SolidFire boss ain't taking no crap, though Nimbus Data CEO Thomas Isakovich thinks NetApp's purchase of SolidFire is its final great mistake.…

A big look-in for Docker on the desktop Microsoft has released Insider Preview Build 14361 for Windows 10 on PC and Mobile with a huge boost for building microservices and cloud.…

Tires of that syncing feeling, hatches new plan File sync 'n' share startup Egnyte is starting a move to expand from file management into content intelligence, entering the domain of Commvault and Veritas.…

Because teenagers never hook up, right? Ubiquitous youth hook-up app, Tinder, is banning under-18s from using its service.…

De facto is as de facto does and de facto S3 API is the object API Scality's sixth RING object storage software version adds S3 compliance to Active Directory and AWS identity and access management support.…

Doping everything really quickly, dude Researchers have found a new way to speed up the process of doping nanomaterials by adding quantum dots to tiny diamonds, which could advance electronics and quantum computing in the future, according to a paper published in Nature Communications.…

Vote in our poll and win Awesome Reg Merchandise™! Competition Spotify is spending a lot of money on original music-related video content. Some of it is dull and worthy, but some of it has the surreal desperation of Alan Partridge attempting to revive his career.…

Infosec bod reckons firm 'misunderstood' the issue Sophos' WS1000 web appliance not only fails to include batch files in its download file type block list, but said it would only include the ability to block them as a feature.…

All you need is a camera radio telescope the size of EARTH and shutter speed of 'ages' MIT boffins have developed an algorithm to help astrophysicists see the unseen, improving the resolution of black hole “images”.…

SSLv3? DEAD. RC4? DEAD. Still using them? Resign from the sysadmin society in shame Google's ongoing elimination of the antediluvian SSLv3 and RC4 protocols is taking another step on June 16.…

First the secondary generators failed, then the glitch slowed some service restoration Amazon Web Services has explained the extended outage its Sydney services suffered last weekend, attributing downtime to a combination of power problems and a “latent bug in our instance management software”.…

I'm picking up good vibrations, I'm listening to excitations University of Illinois boffins have proved that someone who steals your phone can perform hardware hacks on it.…

Redmond will support it inside Azure and send code back to the FreeBSD Foundation Microsoft has published its own distribution of FreeBSD 10.3 in order to make the OS available and supported in Azure.…

Do you want better legibility with that? It sounds cheesy but bigger writing sells more fries Burger baron McDonalds has attributed stronger financial performance to, in part, enlarging the point size of the fonts it uses on the chits sent to its chefs and customers.…

Keep Chrome up to date, people, unless you want PDFs to get you asking WTF? A Researcher at Cisco's Talos limb have discovered an arbitrary code execution flaw in PDFium, the PDF reader installed by default in Google's Chrome browser.…

'Bronchoscope' can slither down your throat and tickle your trachea all by itself Startup Auris Surgical Robots has formally joined the robotic surgery market, securing a United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) license.…

No need to phone in a prang because CCTV's got you covered After more than a year of debate and public submissions, the Victorian government is pressing ahead with getting rid of the “emergency help phones” that are a familiar sight on the side of freeways.…