The Register

A portrait of one medico's contorted digital landscape On Call "I hope you are well" is a standard but hopeless way to open an email - who, save for a few sociopaths, wishes illness and misery upon their correspondents? Silly question - every Reg reader knows that users and managers often seem to wish only the worst for their IT colleagues. Which is why every Friday we deliver a cathartic instalment of On Call, the column in which we feature your tales of making sure all's well that ends well when it comes to tech support....

Letting more advanced ML loose on the stock market? What could possibly go wrong? AMD has refreshed its Alveo field-programmable gate arrays (FPGAs), promising a sevenfold improvement in operating latency and the ability to run more complex machine learning algorithms on the customisable silicon....

Also optimizes routes and tames crowds, but can't stop that person who just reclined into your knees Infosys has sent a digital transformation platform for commercial airlines down the runway and claims it could reduce lost luggage by fifty percent....

Skipper caught on tape saying 'What have I done? My career is gone' after crashing into coral reef after a couple of whiskeys Japan's Transport Safety Board on Thursday judged that a cargo ship that spilled 1,000 tons of fuel oil into a pristine marine environment off the coast of Mauritius in 2020 was travelling off course in search of a cell phone signal....

Just in time to get Atlassian's latest cross-team collab bits Red Hat has revealed it's binned the Bugzilla defect-tracking system for Red Hat Enterprise Linux, in favour of Atlassian's Jira....

30th birthday post reveals 2004 disaster movie continues to influence company strategy Supermicro's founder, president and CEO Charles Liang has suggested a fifth of datacenters - maybe more - will need to adopt liquid cooling in coming years....

OpenAI and Google might respect robots.txt but how about the others? Blogging platform Medium would like organizations to not scrape its articles without permission to train up AI models, and warned this policy may be difficult to enforce....

Influencers offer smouldering looks, analysts wonder if TSMC-fabbed silicon can take the heat Apple's iPhone 15 is so hot right now, just not in the way that Apple would prefer....

No classified systems involved apparently, but internal diplomatic notes, travel details, staff SSNs, etc Chinese snoops stole about 60,000 State Department emails when they broke into Microsoft-hosted Outlook and Exchange Online accounts belonging to US government officials over the summer....

AI accelerator maker suspected of potential anti-competitive tricks Nvidia's office in France was raided this week as part of an investigation by that country's Competition Authority into the graphics card sector....

So, a portable Alexa or Google Home-esque gadget? OpenAI CEO Sam Altman and the former Apple chief design officer Jony Ive are reportedly planning to spin up a startup with backing from Softbank to develop some kind of personal AI-powered hardware device....

FBI agents ought to get spy court approval before reviewing US persons' chats, board reckons A privacy panel within the US government today narrowly recommended that Congress reauthorize the Feds' Section 702 spying powers - but with some stronger protections for US citizens only....

That partial victory against Apple is seeming more pyrrhic by the day Fortnite founder Epic Games said on Thursday that it intends to lay off 16 percent of its staff, around 830 people, and has also sold its stake in Bandcamp and a marketing company focused on appealing to children....

So much for that free speech, huh? Yelp has sued Texas' Attorney General Ken Paxton to prevent him from punishing the reviews website for labeling Crisis Pregnancy Centers (CPCs) to indicate that they do not actually offer abortion services....

Autonomous sub should recharge and resupply in perfect stealth, hopefully DARPA's extended-duration unmanned undersea vehicle (UUV) is having its first aquatic excursion to test if this naval drone has wings, er, fins....

There's no denying geopolitics is making it hard for multinationals in Beijing IBM services spinoff Kyndryl is reportedly preparing to separate its China-based business in the face of ongoing geopolitical tensions between Beijing and Washington....

One says it's dead, the other says it's growing, and we all know how grumpy Elon gets when contradicted It's only been a day since rumors began swirling that X, formerly Twitter, had disabled features allowing users to report election misinformation, and the confusion hasn't been cleared up by dueling statements from platform owner Elon Musk and CEO Linda Yaccarino....

ServiceNow and SAP join the genAI frenzy, but users advised to 'keep a human in the loop' There was barely a beat before he responded. "The simple answer is no," said Jon Sigler, ServiceNow Now Platform senior vice president....

Feds allege tat bazaar turned blind eye to folks buying more than 343k aftermarket defeat devices The DoJ is looking to hold eBay liable for the buying and selling of products on its platform that it alleges include emissions cheat components known as "defeat devices."...

Meta's annual conference sees the company playing catch-up to OpenAI but pulling ahead of Apple Not content to live off the fat of its advertising empire, Meta is still trying to make the metaverse a thing....

First Euro facility to use the next-gen lithography tech for commercial production Intel is preparing to kickstart high-volume manufacturing at its plant in Leixlip, Ireland with the Intel 4 process, its first production node using extreme ultraviolet (EUV) lithography....

Device chief, who quit the beast of Redmond last week, takes similar role at arch rival Amazon has finally confirmed what many in the industry already suspected: that Panos Panay, Microsoft's recently departed veep for devices, is joining to run its own gadget and service biz....

Bid to break impasse where boards only see costs NTT Data Business Solutions, a global consultancy and systems integrator, has committed to buy back legacy and on-prem SAP ERP licenses from customers to ease the cloud migrations many find difficult to justify financially....

Isn't that how Skynet took over? Generative AI models might be trained in massive clusters of GPUs, but Cloudflare argues the obvious place to run them isn't just at the edge but in the network itself....

The Kubernetes circus hits Shanghai and ponders how to connect engineers Kubecon The Cloud Native Computing Foundation has returned to Shanghai for the city's first Kubecon since the pandemic....

Some in globe pay just $0.02 per GB, others rinsed for $43.75 The cost of mobile data varies wildly around the world, ranging from an average $0.02 per gigabyte in Israel, to a whopping $43.75 in Zimbabwe, with the UK ranked 58th in affordability and the US coming close to the bottom of the table at 219th....

Render unto Apple what is Apple's The Vivaldi browser is finally making its way to iOS devices, although Apple's WebKit continues to lurk behind the scenes....

The URLs needed to share chat histories have been indexed. Of course Google's Bard chatbot is currently being re-educated to better understand privacy....

Reason for the ban still a mystery - but most have their guesses Memory maker Micron Technology's revenue nearly feel by almost half year-on-year, partly thanks to the effect of China's unpexplained bans on some of its products....

No longer super-cheap, but boasts better graphics and swifter storage The Raspberry Pi 5 arrives in October with both a leap in performance and an incremental price rise. But will you be able to get your hands on one?...

Made-In-China network's attempt to merge sales and socials stalled in the market all web giants covet Indonesia, the world's fourth-most-populous country, has decided to ban social commerce - the practice of embedding e-commerce facilities in social media platforms....

He's also worried about alliances that freeze out Chinese tech Chinese minister for national security Chen Yixin has penned an article rating the digital risks his country faces and rated network security incidents as the most realistic source of harm to the Chinternet - both in terms of attacks and the dissemination of fake news....

Rubio spent 371 days on the ISS, the longest any American has been aloft NASA astronaut Dr. Frank Rubio has returned home after a 371-day stint aboard the International Space Station, setting a new record for the longest time an American has stayed in space....

If the chatbot doesn't know what you need, it'll 'Bing It!' for paying customers ChatGPT can now scan the internet and provide users with up-to-date responses to their queries, OpenAI revealed Wednesday....

Factories and offices are going nowhere, fast Some of Volkswagen's operations have screeched to a halt after some sort of cyber incident, according to German media reports....

The pen is (slightly) mightier than the algorithm The Writers Guild of America has ended its 148-day strike after reaching an agreement with Hollywood's TV and film studios to increase pay and regulate the use of generative AI in ways that mean writers are paid regular rates even if they work on machine-generated material....

BlackTech crew looking to steal sensitive data traffic Chinese government spies may be hiding in your Cisco routers and using that access to steal intellectual property and other sensitive data, according to officials in the US and Japan....

Redmond says the deal is still on The US Federal Trade Commission (FTC) on Tuesday revived its attempt to block Microsoft's planned $69 billion acquisition of game gurus at Activision Blizzard....

347.7 meters in a day - humans could probably do better NASA's Perseverance Mars rover has set a speed record by traversing a massive boulder field in a third the time it would have taken its predecessor Curiosity....

Big two corporate-backed free distros are nearly ready for their close-ups Both Fedora Workstation 39 and Ubuntu Desktop 23.10 are now in beta, preparing for release next month. We looked at their official GNOME-based flavors to see what to expect....

We could do most of what we need to prevent 1.5C warming now; reversing it will be nigh impossible The technology the world needs to reach net zero carbon emissions and limit global warming to 1.5C is increasingly available, but we're still not necessarily on track to meet our 2050 climate change goals, the International Energy Agency (IEA) reports....

Letter to City Council supports measures to ban biometric tech from public spaces "New Yorkers should not be forced to accept biometric surveillance as part of simple activities like buying groceries or taking their kids to a baseball game," more than 30 civil and digital rights organizations said yesterday in a letter backing new privacy laws in the city....

Biz signed 20-year term in 2021 before COVID-19 caused the WFH revolution followed by redundancies Meta is paying 149 million ($181 million) to release itself earlier than planned from a lease on an eight-story office block in London signed two years ago, which still lies vacant....

Why there is not a lot more of it is yet to be explained though In sci-fi, antimatter is the opposite of all the matter around us. Does that mean it should fall up? Not at all, scientists at Europe's largest sub-atomic physics lab have proved for the first time....

The result? Install Fee Tycoon It's generally not accepted as good form to kick someone while they're down, but we can always make an exception where predatory business practices are concerned, especially in the $334 billion video game industry....

Chip giant says it's still in the 'planning and design phase' Intel is facing a shortage of skilled staff for its planned chip factory in Germany, according to reports, highlighting that rebuilding the semiconductor industry in Europe and elsewhere may not be straightforward....

Meanwhile Google pushes podcast listeners toward YouTube Music Spotify has revealed it will use AI to clone the voices of prominent podcasters and translate their output into other languages....

Valve's work on Steam OS 3 for the Steam Deck help everyone, corporate users included Open Source Summit Steam OS is the Arch-based distro for a handheld Linux games console, and Valve is aggressively pushing Linux's usability and Windows interoperability for the device....

Tell it what you want to do, and it spits out the relevant code MongoDB has built an AI-powered SQL converter designed to help developers move from relational databases to its document-oriented NoSQL system....

Winning spacecraft will dock with the station at least a year before go time NASA has confirmed it will ask American companies to duke it out for the opportunity to deorbit the International Space Station - quietly releasing a request for proposals last week....