The Register

Nadella sticks to FY (fictional year) $20bn cloud target Analysis Microsoft has reiterated its belief in a mythical annual income of $20bn from cloud despite growth in Azure and its apps-as-a-service business slowing.…

Product overlap reduction cost-cutting possibility could be top-of-mind post-acquisition Dell is facing its EMC acquisition debt mountain growing yet higher because the Wall St bond market will need higher interest payments to fund the deal.…

Office 365 is now a developer platform, says SatNad, but what's actually new here? "For the first time we are opening up Office 365 not just as an end-user and an enterprise tool and a service, but as a developer platform," said Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella during the earnings call following the company's latest financial results.…

Dead Steve Jobs would be spinning in his grave Steve Wozniak has spoken out against Apple's tax affairs, saying all companies ought to pay 50 per cent in taxes.…

This won't help Dell pay for EMC either In the first initial public offering of the year in the technology sector, Dell's infosec subsidiary SecureWorks has raised much less than expected.…

Study shows some medical folk are still running an OS not supported since 2014 The healthcare industry is a long way behind the financial sector in basic security practices, according to a study by two factor authentication firm Duo Security.…

Biological cleansing agent bursts forth in home of Westlife A team of Irish scientists has developed a way to neutralise that threatening sump of biological mayhem you just can’t leave home without - the mobile phone.…

MoD: We've been hacked, just don't talk to The Register about it Exclusive Up to 831 members of Britain's defence community with high-level security clearances had their personally identifying information stolen when the Ministry of Defence's business networking organisation was hacked, The Register has learned.…

Another one gone. When will it end? The shock death yesterday of Prince at the age of 57 prompted immediate worldwide reaction which bore witness both to the man's undeniable talent and influence, and the internet age's obsession with celebrity.…

12 questions later, your life is a little shorter Something for the Weekend, Sir? Gor blimey guv. I jus’ bin dahn the ol’ rub-a-dub for a pokey alright sparrah do us a lemon John.…

We'll give you a clue: it rhymes with shmevidence As a business owner, I want to believe that I have what it takes to lead. I'm charismatic enough that I can usually convince people to do what I want them to do. I am good enough with Google that I can find out many things and I have the ability to learn a great deal about complex topics quickly. Surely I will thusly make good decisions and be a great CEO!…

Who will hold these mandarins to account? More mandarins Update Taxpayers cash that government spends on consultants and temporary staff has soared by up to 90 per cent over the last five years to £1.3bn, as Whitehall struggled to build technical skills in-house, an official report confirmed.…

Bug bounty hunter stumbles across backdoor leaking FB staff usernames, passwords A bug bounty hunter compromises a Facebook staff server through a sloppy file-sharing webapp – and finds someone's already beaten him to it by backdooring the machine.…

Anti-dolphin-munching mission DDoSed car-maker Nissan A pair of Akamai researchers are warning that entities using the name and iconography of hacker collective Anonymous will soon expand a six-year distributed denial of service (DDoS) attack campaign against Japan to other whale-and-dolphin-eating nations.…

Shouty boss humiliated once smut filter upgrade order produced ON-CALL Welcome again to On-Call, our Friday fun in which readers send in their stories of being asked to do odd things around the office.…

Stolen card values on the way down ahead of chip card debut A hacker group has stolen some 10 million credit cards, putting itself in a position to score US$400 million (£279 million, A$516 million) by infecting 2000 payment terminals with the Trinity point of sales malware.…

Leading leaker wants to visit Oslo trip to pick up freedom prize without being picked up Super-leaker Edward Snowden is suing the government of Norway.…

Fibre-to-the-node backer replaces fibre-to-the-premises enthusiast Simon Hackett nbn, the entity building and operating Australia's national broadband network, has announced a new board member.…

Owner couldn't bear to dump Power Mac G5 workhorse. What's your old kit propping up? The Register has been shooting some video of late, and on a recent visit to Key Studio came across a coffee table we think is worthy of some attention.…

File system declared stable, but users warned upgrade is 'non-trivial' Software-defined object storage project Ceph has issued a new release its makers say is a “major release” that “will be the foundation for the next long-term stable release.”…

Oh, you weren't relying on that to lockdown your PCs, were you? If you're relying on Microsoft's AppLocker to lock down your office or school Windows PCs, then you should check this out. A security researcher says he's found a way to potentially bypass the operating system's software whitelist and launch arbitrary applications.…

'Daylight robbery' cannot be allowed says chief minister India's capital city, Delhi, has banned Uber's surge pricing.…

Mini-Chipzilla licenses CPU tech to Chinese manufacturer – and the crowd goes wild About a year ago, we asked you to pray for AMD. It's working.…

For when 'uploading over the network is expensive or not feasible' - cough - NBN - cough Microsoft's flicked the switch on its Azure physical data import service for Australia and Japan.…

Cupertino's calamitous conduct drops users down security hole Apple has finally informed its customers that it is no longer supporting QuickTime for Windows. Adobe, whose code is intertwined with QuickTime, is having to do a rapid reworking of its software to avoid putting users at risk.…

Telco keeps revenues up with strong hardware sales Verizon says that it will focus on "developing new markets," as the telco giant was just able to keep revenues on the uptick.…

In Soviet Redmond, phones rain on cloud Microsoft is putting a brave face on disappointing third-quarter earnings that saw profits fall 25 per cent year-on-year and cloud revenues failing to rise fast enough to offset losses in other areas.…

Wall Street hammers Chocolate Factory for not hitting targets Google parent company Alphabet is feeling the heat after it failed to reach earnings targets this past quarter.…

Billion-dollar Russian Trojan team in the tank for quarter of a century in the US A two-man team responsible for spreading the SpyEye malware that caused more than a billion dollars in financial hardship is now starting extended sentences in American prisons.…

Common standards for set-top boxes? Ha ha ha The US National Cable & Telecommunications Association (NCTA) has threatened to sue the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) if it pushes ahead with plans to open up cable boxes.…

This wouldn't have anything to do with a recent FCC decision, would it? Comcast appears to be suddenly in the mood for murdering set-top boxes.…

Browser offers secure service, world + dog chokes up pipeline Opera has built a free virtual private network (VPN) service into the latest version of its browser for Windows and OS X.…

Nice work, if you can get it Vid FBI director James Comey today suggested the Feds paid security experts over a million dollars to crack a San Bernardino killer's iPhone.…

Boffin probes interstellar microwave engine An explanation for Roger Shawyer's seemingly impossible EmDrive has been offered.…

Secure chat setup swooped on by police forces Dutch firm Ennetcom has pulled its systems offline following a bust by police and accusations that its encryption technology was being abused as a communications network by drug dealers.…

How a $35m revenue hit turns into a $167m profit change Analysis 3D XPoint memory represents a door way to non-volatile profits for Intel and a passage away from NAND production, which is bedevilled by over-supply from costly fabrication plants with high costs.…

Winners, losers... and that dratted Mofcom +Comment EMC saw many pockets of growth in its first fiscal 2016 quarter’s results but overall revenues declined because core legacy product revenues fell, as did RSA and the enterprise content business.…

Claimed while working for Microsoft in Oz, court hears An Irish mother has been given until October to repay the balance of €15,618 in children's allowance payments which she claimed while working for Microsoft in Australia.…

Recruiters target penguinistas for Azure sales joy Exclusive Microsoft is recruiting from open-sourcers to build a unit apparently selling open-source wares on its Azure cloud.…

CEO warns that he's 'cautious as regards overall IT industry spending' Check Point’s share price has dipped a touch after the firm reported lacklustre Q1 financial results.…

Finland tops league, Eritrea at bottom of table The UK has ranked 38th in the 2016 World Press Freedom Index - a league table of "the degree of freedom available to journalists in 180 countries".…

He really has got his head in the clouds... Larry Ellison is rumoured to be mulling a substantial cash injection into a foundering business which has seen itself unable to compete in recent years with more powerful rivals.…

The ghost of Grove that drove CEO Krzanich Only the Paranoid Survive, or so former Intel chief executive Andy Grove once wrote. And it seems that, faced with the demise of the PC market, Intel CEO Brian Krzanich has found his inner Andy Grove.…

Take this free thing and please stop slagging us off Customers still unable to access their websites following a mega cock-up at hosting site 123-reg over the weekend have been offered six months' free VPS and backup recovery services as a sweetener.…

Information Commissioner hands down £80,000 fine Kent Police has been fined £80k by the Information Commissioner's Office (ICO) after sensitive personal details of a woman who accused her partner of domestic abuse were passed to the suspect, who was a police officer.…

Q1 trading update is tale of two countries – Germany 1, UK 0 Some financial services institutions are taking a break from spending cash on tech, London-based supplier giant Computacenter said today as it reported a Q1 trading update.…

Launch tomorrow from French Guiana Europe's Sentinel-1B Earth-watching satellite will soar heavenwards tomorrow from Kourou, French Guiana, riding a Soyuz lifter to a 700km altitude polar orbit.…

Kildare politicians not happy with silence over Leixlip plant Irish county councillors are worried by Intel's refusal to tell them if local redundancies are coming.…

Chasing rising business in Land of the Rising Sun Startup Druva has taken in fresh funding to pay for expansion into Japan.…

We're talking tools, not people. Quiet in the back! Ofcom will decide whether spectrum should be shared based in part on whether the technology is available to enable it to happen, it has said.…