The Register

It would be alarmist to say it sounds like a Stuxnet vector, so we won't do that SAP has issued a critical software update that plugged 23 security holes on Tuesday, including a fix for security issues in its industrial manufacturing software.…

Crap IT systems, huge ANPR database, no statutory footing The Met Police has said it must retain billions of Automatic Number Plate Recognition scans on a colossal database beyond the agreed period of two years.…

Privately held firm boasts about ever-bigger claimed numbers Converged map platform MapR has thanked ex-Oracle executive Matt Mills, who is now the company's president and COO, for its best ever quarterly billings.…

Less flexible than AWS service – but talks to Choc Factory's other toys Google has released an alpha of Cloud Functions, a managed Node.js environment that is reminiscent of Amazon Web Services (AWS)'s Lambda.…

And if you're on Vodafone ... well, it sucks to be you Three emerges as the UK’s most reliable mobile operator and EE as the UK’s fastest, in RootMetrics' biannual network survey.…

It had a bumper year, but expect losses for this one Chip designer ARM once again posted bumper annual results, with profits up 31 per cent to £414.8m on revenue of £968m, up 22 per cent.…

Plus: 'We'd have no ****ing podcast if that weren't the case'

Precision saw, cooling fluid, nerves of steel Firemen from the Spanish town of Dénia, in Alicante, enjoyed an entertaining shout last week when they were called to remove four steel rings from the base of an unfortunate chap's todger.…

But Continual Service Improvement – now THAT'S a real job Is CSI a real thing? No, I don't mean the American TV series about investigating crime scenes: that's clearly a very broad-strokes* take on a real job. I'm talking about Continual Service Improvement – that thing that you see on business cards and on LinkedIn profiles from time to time, and think to yourself: “Is that actually a proper job?”…

More mind-boggling code unfortunately encountered in the wild Line Break Welcome to the latest installment of Line Break, the column in which we share ghastly code readers have sadly encountered in the wild.…

Draft tome published Bitcoin boffins have been gifted a 300-page treatise on the workings of their favourite crypto-currency as told by the academics of Princeton and Stanford universities.…

When IT goes bad, from the end-user's point of view Today, I was a user Every now and again The Register runs articles from sysadmins around the world about the horrors of working in IT. From time to time, however, it is probably worth reading something from the user's point of view. This is one such story.…

But sector still took jobs hit and an 11% pay cut in 'real terms' Want to survive the next global financial meltdown without being forced to trade your shoes for food? Well, you'd be safest to get a job in tech.…

'Linux for the cloud' to host beloved state service Britain’s taxman has embraced OpenStack for a fledgling cross-channel digital tax service.…

Consumer trust central to success of initiative, say law bods On Tuesday, an industry-led group published a new framework for supporting the use of open APIs in the banking sector.…

Smartphones, not headsets driving the market In 1994 this hack had his first taste of virtual reality, shooting pterodactyls in a blocky polygon world, and was assured by the vendor that 1995 would be the year VR really took off.…

Judgements in this case are like buses: none for ages, then two at once The end of the near-immortal “Who owns Unix?” case looks to be near after a US judge knocked out the two remaining arguments with which the SCO group hoped to attack IBM.…

From Shenzen to your two-dollar USB cable: How UK-based biz is trying to block counterfeit silicon FTDI's CEO Fred Dart has given a rare interview to explain that the company's sometimes-unpopular anti-counterfeiting practices are part of a fightback against a professional Chinese knock-off operation.…

Long-ignored issue, or solved problem? Sysadmin Blog It's 2016, and the number one complaint I hear from sysadmins is still about monitoring software. The complaints have evolved with time, and every organization seems to have its own challenges. Despite this, monitoring software seems to be one of the most universal frustrations in modern IT.…

Tell us – are you happy with the new changelogs? Poll Microsoft has agreed to let people know a little more about what they're downloading in their Windows 10 updates.…

Encryption and authentication become part of the webmail UI Google's taking some of the user interface techniques it uses to flag insecure Web pages and applying them to email.…

OpenStack and KVM offered as network function virtualisation platform Intel is starting to deliver on its vision of x86-powered modem/routers in the home , as its Wind River subsidiary releases a server dedicated to delivery of functions to virtual customer premises equipment (CPE).…

Adobe's porous pest scores another seal of thorough disapproval Google's getting serious about hastening the oh-so-timely demise of Adobe Flash, telling advertisers they've just under a year to move to HTML 5.…

Rules for device design and behaviour put thing-makers should shut down shoddiness About time: the GSM Association has released a bunch of guidelines to try and address the chronic insecurity of the Internet of Things.…

Police keep mum as malware activity flatlines One of the worst examples of financial malware appears to have fallen silent after operators were reportedly arrested in Moscow after a rare raid by the Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation (FSB).…

Hardware's gone, but Google's way of doing things won the day. Next stop: cloud Google looks like it has binned its search appliances.…

Arnold Schwarzenegger just called to say 'don't use my name as your password' Don't pretend you can invent a strong enough, memorable password to protect your Bitcoins: crypto-boffins can crack the so-called "brain wallet."…

No, you're not the worst sysadmin in the world, lots of people had to download it Cisco has 'fessed up to forgetting the software needed to manage its Adaptive Security Appliances.…

Will it be the first in the nation to do so in 2019? San Francisco, home of the tech startup, is trying to show its tech credentials by becoming the first city to use open source software for elections.…

Parkes telescope finds a million, billion suns behind the Milky Way Data collected by Australia's Parkes radio telescope from as far back as 1997 has led astronomers to declare they've discovered hundreds of galaxies hidden from telescopes by the Milky Way.…

Anti-doxxing bill proposed Legislators in Utah have proposed a law that would bring serious criminal penalties for those who post others' private information online with the intent to harass.…

Regen your keys ASAP Web hosting biz Linode broke the security in its customers' virtual machines, allowing attackers to eavesdrop on SSH connections and hijack them.…

Zenefits, Imagination, Yelp, Paypal all lose key execs Analysis The rumblings of over-priced tech stocks, made real last month in above-market share falls, have started hitting home with a series of high-profile exits this week.…

Microsoft blats bugs in super-secure web browser Edge, its OS, the Office suite, and more Microsoft has patched 41 CVE-listed security vulnerabilities in its software this month.…

'Workspace One' to compete with Citrix's Workspace Suite, with help from new PCoIP alternative 'Blast' VMware has taken the wraps off what looks like the culmination of several years building an end-user computing business.…

Sysadmin's nightmare: 'I crashed the whole network' A somewhat red-faced Telstra is going to give its customers free data on Sunday to apologise for yesterday's mobile network outage.…

Redmond wants unique minds Getting a job if you're on the autistic spectrum can be hard, but Microsoft is keen to hire people with the disorder for its workforce.…

Tiny nations lead broadband poll Northern Europe and Scandinavia enjoy the fastest streaming speeds for Netflix.…

The Internet of Things is great for us, says James Clapper The Internet of Things is a godsend for the US intelligence services, according to Director of National Intelligence and professional splitter-of-hairs James Clapper.…

Patches for 32-bit processor hit LLVM C/C++ compiler suite It appears Google has quietly developed an in-house 32-bit processor with close ties to parallel computing and networking.…

The Poseidon (malware) Adventure Security researchers have lifted the lid on the Poseidon Group, a global cyber-espionage gang in operation since at least 2005.…

Ker-ching! The small cybercrime ring behind the CryptoWall 3.0 ransomware was able to collect more than $330,607 in ransom from 670 victims, according to new research.…

Rebranded Flash Professional with new features including 4K video export Adobe has released Animate CC, formerly known as Flash Professional, as part of its effort to move away from its proprietary plug-in and runtime in favour of HTML5 Canvas and WebGL.…

Split metadata storage scheme for faster object access. Hmmm Comment If you want a Swift-compliant object storage system, then SwiftStack is the best you you can get. So says, er, Swiftstack itself.…

Good luck getting that through the House, Barry The outgoing Obama administration has proposed increasing federal cyber-security spending by $5bn, or around a third, in the hope of reaching $19bn in 2017.…

Battery-powered 'Sceptor' set for 2019 launch NASA is working towards getting an electric-powered multiprop experimental aircraft off the ground, with an eye to future "greater fuel efficiency, improved performance and ride quality and aircraft noise reduction".…

We're not just stringing you along... QA's Kat McIvor will be taking to the stage at Continuous Lifecycle London to talk about automating security. But her skills don't end there. If config management's your thing, here's Kat's take on getting started with Puppet.…

SSD price cuts and a denser filer make up a satisfying trifecta HPE has added SSDs to its entry-level MSA array, re-priced some SSDs, and brought out a new, denser filer, all intended to help customers with limited budgets.…

ISP: There has been no breach, no idea what you mean Customers of Virgin Media who are increasingly convinced their service provider has been victim of a security breach have formed a Facebook group to share their experiences and push for answers.…

This man is really sick, sick, sick, sick, sick FoTW What could be more warmly received on this brisk winter's day than a delicious, heartfelt bellow of rage from a Commentard who could bear it no more.…