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Updated 2026-05-15 10:01
Google robo-car nearly CRASHES in machine gang road rage incident
Turf dispute between auto autos spills over into metal-on-metal VIOLENCE Before humanity's final battle against our erstwhile robotic minions, both man and tin can must stifle dissent from within. Man has been murdering itself since time inconceivable, but now two "uncrashable" self-driving cars have almost come to blows in California.…
GCHQ heard you liked spying, so spied on itself spying on you
Privacy violations in spy-on-spy spying just human error, says intelligence commish Sir Mark Waller, the Intelligence Services Commissioner, has delivered his fourth annual report to the Prime Minister, revealing that GCHQ's internal monitoring system slurped up its own employees' privates to an unauthorised degree.…
It's sales boom time for (some) converged infrastructure vendors
Integrate all the things! The world’s great enterprise hardware vendors are in a dog fight – to dominate the buoyant market for converged infrastructure.…
Cambridge boffins: STOP the rush to 5G. We just don't need it
Building 4G coverage should be the priority, not yet another standard +Poll The headlong rush into 5G is an unnecessary technology treadmill, or so the great and the good of the wireless world have concluded.…
Warning flags were raised over GDS farm payments system – yet it still failed
Maybe they shouldn't be trusted with complex systems The scrapped Common Agricultural Policy IT system was flagged as being at risk of failing by a government project watchdog last year, due to the “inherent high risk" of the showcase digital project.…
Micron blames dismal PC sales for EVERYTHING
But biz thinks 3D NAND will sell like hot cakes and fix all the financial badness Memory firm Micron's third fiscal 2015 quarter results were pretty poor - and the chief exec blames the slumping PC market.…
Microsoft's magic hurts: Nadella signals 'tough choices' on the way
CEO sugar-coats the medicine for Nokia phone biz There’s nothing like sweetening the bad news medicine, and that’s what Microsoft’s tried with its latest internal staff memo.…
UK.gov spaffed billions into IT projects at 'high risk of failure' last year
Annual Report still makes for ‘encouraging reading’ though The British government blew £2.5bn on a number of IT projects flagged at high risk of failure in 2014/15, a Register analysis of the Major Project Authority annual report into big government programmes can reveal. The lifetime cost of all those IT projects is almost £36bn.…
Bitcoin, schmitcoin. Let's play piggyback on the blockchain
Cryptocash isn't cool any more – and its core mechanism is being hijacked Bitcoin may have generated countless salacious news headlines, but it’s a cameo player in a much bigger act. The blockchain is the real innovation that that makes Bitcoin work, and could well outlast the upstart currency. But it’s in trouble – and Silicon Valley has forked out millions to try and save it.…
GCHQ's cyberspooks had behavioural Nudge Unit envy – leak
Get 'em to a TED Talk, trickcyclist urged. They need neurobabble As 10 Downing Street was establishing a Behavioural Insights Team, or "Nudge" unit, based on pop psychology, so too were the spooks at GCHQ.…
Google IS listening: Binary blob banished from Chromium build
Simply no place for closed-source components, sorry New Chromium builds will no longer download/install the Hotword Shared Module and will automatically remove the module on startup if it was previously installed.…
Rivarly heats up as VXers bake Fobber crypto clobber
Hop, skip, and headache. A malware development squad is so determined to thwart meddling white hat researchers that it has produced a trojan riddled with obfuscation techniques and neurotic encryption.…
We forget NOTHING, the Beeb thunders at Europe
Here are the pages dropped into Google's 'memory hole' The BBC has decided that Europe's controversial “right to be forgotten” laws won't be allowed to undermine its archives.…
Google creates cloud code cache
Chocolate Factory wants to be your GitHub, eventually With an uncharacteristic lack of fanfare, Google has decided to hang around the kitchen at the code repository party.…
Britain beats back Argies over Falklands online land grab
The IANA Lady's not for turning It's been 33 years since the United Kingdom went to war with Argentina and won back the Falkland Islands, but the battle still continues – including online.…
Vegan eats BeEf, gets hooked
Bad taste still lingers Botnet slaughterer Brian Wallace has created a module to detect when attackers are using the popular browser-busting BeEF hacking framework.…
Apple wants to patent iBeacon stalking
'Find a friend', what could possibly go wrong? The fruit of Apple's 2013 acquisition of indoor mapper WiFiSlam seems to have fallen from the tree and landed at the patent office, with Cupertino filing for a find-my-friends feature.…
G.fast is coming, so get ready, telcos tell ACCC
Definition matters The Communications Alliance has told the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission it wants deployment rules to leave room for G.fast in the future.…
That shot you heard? SSLv3 is now DEAD
It's joined the choir invisible We really, really, really mean it this time: take SSL3 and bury it.…
Telstra, Voda bag blackspot bucks
Oz government slings $385 million to connect rural mobes The Australian government has embarked on a mobile blackspot crackdown with funding released for the creation of 499 new mobile base stations to improve coverage in rural and remote areas.…
Facebook! Exfiltrates! Yahoo! Security! Boss!
Uber pickup fills Menlo gap. Facebook has poached NSA-clashing Yahoo! security man Alex Stamos to head up its infosec operations.…
MAC address privacy inches towards standardisation
IEEE hums along to IETF anti-surveillance tune The Internet Engineering Task Force's (IETF's) decision last year to push back against surveillance is bearing fruit, with the 'net boffins and the IEEE proclaiming successful MAC address privacy tests.…
Win the business services race with run-book automation
Stay ahead of demand Bringing a more service-based culture to your IT department is a great idea, but who will manage it behind the scenes? Service-based IT is the holy grail for IT departments that want to improve their standing in the business.…
Google takes latest self-driving buggies to the streets
Relax, Mountain View, they'll have drivers… for now Google has begun public road tests for a line of self-driving cars designed to be free of such fripperies as a steering wheel or pedals.…
Microsoft's new mission statement: It's all about doing MAGICAL THINGS
Nadella's latest mega-memo has Redmond transforming the WORLD Satya Nadella, the man who succeeded Steve Ballmer as Microsoft's CEO and only the third chief exec in the company's history, believes the software giant is poised to achieve "magical things" in the coming years.…
SpaceX to launch Microsoft's HoloLens visors into SPAAAAACE
To boldly go where no augmented reality has gone before A pair of Microsoft's HoloLens augmented reality goggles will be headed to the International Space Station on Sunday as part of the cargo in SpaceX's resupply mission on Sunday.…
FCC boss Wheeler says no more gaming the spectrum auctions
Wireless carriers may not be able to exploit subsidiary loophole Federal Communications Commission (FCC) boss Tom Wheeler is proposing new rules to the upcoming wireless spectrum auction that are designed to limit the ability for large telcos to snap up space meant for small carriers.…
Apple apes Microsoft with iPhone BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH
Fanbois on T-Mobile US confounded by mystery crashes T-Mobile users with iPhones are being beset by a mysterious issue that causes their handsets to randomly flash a blue screen and then reset itself.…
Cisco in single SSH key security stuff-up
Patch NOW, people A red-faced Cisco has pushed out a patch for a bunch of virtual security appliances that had hard-coded SSH keys.…
ICANN's leaving the nest, so when will it grow up?
The org that will run the internet still acts like a teenager Comment ICANN is 17 years old. It's about to be given the keys to its dad's car. And we are all going to have to take a ride with it every day.…
Apple pulls Civil War games in Confederate flag takedown
App Store nixes banner amidst controversy over symbolism Apple is removing games that feature the Confederate flag in their titles or gameplay from its App Store.…
Amazon's Alexa waves $100m developer carrot in bid to out-gab Siri
Online bazaar provides APIs and SDK for its voice assistant service Amazon is reaching out to developers in an effort to build a rival to voice assistant services like Apple's Siri and Microsoft's Cortana.…
Yahoo! displaces Ask in Oracle's Java update crapware parade
Desperate tactics from the Purple Palace At the annual Yahoo! shareholder's meeting, CEO Marissa Mayer unveiled her new strategy for making the struggling web portal popular again by buying its way into Oracle's Java upgrade software.…
Hi-res audio folk to introduce new rules and weed out impure noises
Inaudible or ineffable? Industry bods address 'misperceptions' High resolution (Hi-Res) audio is not as good it should be, causing an industry group to create new production guidelines to address what it says are "misperceptions" concerning what it takes to create the best recordings.…
Courtney Love in the crossfire! Paris turns ugly over Uber
How will you stop us, Frenchies! Mmm, with baseball bats In a development many thought an impossibility, Paris has turned decidedly ugly, as traditional taxi drivers clashed with Uber, dragging pop singer and 1990s grunge leftover Courtney Love into the battle.…
Capita: Call centre workers, can you fall on your swords? Please?
Voluntary redundo for staff managing O2 clients The kind souls at Capita are placing hundreds of workers at risk of redundancy at call centres across the UK that service O2 clients, according to documents seen by The Channel.…
BT: Let us scrap ordinary phone lines. You've all got great internet, right?
Deregulate! But let us keep all the hardware, of course BT is asking Ofcom to be freed from its obligation to provide ordinary PSTN/POTS voice telephone connections across the UK. The telecoms giant would prefer to provide only internet services, and let customers use them for voice calls.…
US SaaS firm bows to Snowden concerns with UK-based datacentre
Clarizen sets Euro customers' minds at rest Project management as a service vendor Clarizen will open a European datacentre this summer as it seeks to assure customers here that the US government will not rifle through their Gantt charts whenever they feel like it.…
Dell cooks up cloud recipes with Microsoft, VMware and OpenStack
Would you like a sprinkling of finance on that, sir? Dell is doubling down on its policy of selling infrastructure, after retreating from its public cloud service provider plan.…
SCC: Look at our bulging figure(s). We're fatter than some MSPs
Ignore crashing product sales, that was planned... honest Classic product reselling at privately-owned Midland tech dynasty SCC’s UK biz has crashed by a fifth but the company execs are still smiling. Why? The shift to services is paying off.…
As the US realises it's been PWNED, when will OPM heads roll?
‘Most devastating cyber attack in US history’ Heads are set to roll at the Office of Personnel Management as director Katherine Archuleta continues to receive a grilling from Senate committees, who are beginning to realise that the country's entire intelligence workforce has been utterly pwned, probably by a hostile nation.…
'Backronym' crowdfunds itself into Oxford English Dictionary
Reg favourite joins 'meh', 'twerk' and 'yarnstorm' in bulging lexicon Proof, were it needed, that El Reg is down wiv da lingo comes with the inclusion of "backronym" in the Oxford English Dictionary – one of 500 new words just added to the bulging lexicon.…
Beyond the Grave: US Navy pays peanuts for Windows XP support
It's $9m a year - whatever Microsoft canned support for Windows XP and Office and Exchange 2003 in April 2014 - unless you are the U.S. Navy, which is paying $9.1m a year until 2017 to obtain security patches for these obsoleted products. The Navy contract also includes support for Server 2003, which is unplugged from life support on July 2015.…
Pirate MEP pranks Telegraph with holiday snap scaremongering
Torygraph skiing correspondent spun by wild Facebook lawsuit claims Teenaged* German MEP Julia Reda, who believes that “your life is illegal” because of copyright laws, has successfully conned a gullible newspaper into reporting that sharing your own photos will soon be illegal too.…
UN corruption cops commence probe into domain-name and patent body WIPO
Worry Gurry, super scurry, call the troops out in a hurry The global domain-name and patents agency WIPO (the World Intellectual Property Organisation) is under investigation by the UN's corruption investigation unit – the Office of Internal Oversight – The Register can reveal.…
FeedHenry now Red Hat Mobile App Platform, gets OpenShift cloud integration
Company makes play for mobile app devs Red Hat Summit Red Hat has launched its Mobile Application Platform, at the company's Summit under way in Boston.…
Will a datacentre be driving your car in 12 years' time?
Keep your hands off the wheel, sir Driverless cars will be taking over our roads in around 12 years time, when comms technology has advanced to deliver the power of the datacentre direct to your preferred motor.…
Bank of England CIO: ‘Beware of the cloud, beware of vendors’
Old Lady grumbles about new thingy The Bank of England is loosening up on IT delivery and recruitment, but not its resistance to public cloud.…
In search of an easier life: Do IT converged systems fit the bill?
Automation for the Common (Sysadmin) People Could converged systems change the way that IT admins spend their time? Figures suggest that mundane tasks such as backups and restores and system patches take between two and ten hours a week for around a third of those responsible for administering systems.…
GoFundMe shows users how it's done, cashes in with $600m valuation
Convincing people to give money to other people is a lucrative business Online hat-passer GoFundMe has sold off a controlling stake of its business to investors who value it at roughly $600m.…
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