The Register

Jump-start your next decade at the Global Digital Conference this week Promo If you’ve decided that your traditional data warehouse or analytics tooling isn’t fit for the next decade, you should take time out to join Google Cloud’s Global Digital Conference tomorrow – Wednesday, 25 September.…

Developers, developers, developers, developers (dev... velopers, dev... splutter...) Microsoft on Monday launched .NET Core 3.0 and Visual Studio 2019 16.3 at its virtual .NET Conf that is under way this week.…

We are the knights who say... Nim! The Nim programming language reached v1.0 on Monday, bringing with it a stability guarantee and enthusiasm from its community of fans.…

From Lambda to Azure, and all points in between, join us this November in London Event If you’re thinking of shifting over to serverless and function-as-a-service, join us at the aptly named Serverless Computing London from November 6 to 8.…

Yeah, well, tough, you get a brand rejig instead Logowatch Remember Yahoo!? It used to be Google but failed to get better, keep current, or do anything useful.…

AI marketing tool sparks lawsuit Vimeo's cloud-based video-editing app Magisto analyzes thousands of people's faces using AI and stores their biometric data in a database without their consent, it is claimed.…

Update browser ASAP after Google gurus spot miscreants abusing bug to hijack PCs Microsoft today issued a rare emergency security update for Internet Explorer to address a critical flaw in the browser that's being exploited right now in the wild.…

Judge blasts Big Blue for trying to wriggle out of revealing Operation Baccarat blueprints IBM was ordered late on Friday to produce communications from CEO Ginni Rometty and other executives related to Operation Baccarat, the IT giant's alleged company-wide-plan to replace older workers with younger ones.…

And yet manages to blag a federal tariff exclusion. #MAGA! Apple has proudly announced it will make its next-generation Mac Pro at its plant in Texas after it received federal tariff exclusions on parts imported from China into America.…

CEO says sorry in U-turn so hard, boffins at CERN thought space-time was distorting Embattled Chef has U-turned and vowed to not work with two US immigration agencies beyond its ongoing contracts, following immense community and employee pressure.…

Audio retention settings to be more transparent (if you know where to find them) Google has laid out what is and isn't recorded when you use your voice to operate its Assistant app, and tweaked some of its preference settings labels to be more upfront about what happens to your audio data. It also said sorry – again.…

Maybe check your credit rating, says red-faced firm T-shirt flogger CafePress has finally informed its customers about a serious data loss dating back to February and first reported last month.…

Rubik's Cube mini-fest marks 39 years of eponymous toy Speed-cubers, artists, entertainers and at least one Guinness World Records judge will have their hands well occupied during next week's free-entry Rubik's Cube "Pop-Up Experience" in London.…

Also, a new font arrives and Microsoft struggles to keep Sets' coffin lid closed Roundup Another new Windows build, a flash of Bluetooth, and Azure gazes into Space: it's another Microsoft weekly roundup, categorically free of references to Dark Mode – except for that one (dammit).…

Plus: Watch cute bot agents master hide-and-seek Roundup Let's kick your week off with the latest happenings in the world of AI and machine learning.…

Gov.uk portal finally lurched back to life after lunch Updated Furious parents have lashed out at Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs after the UK tax authority let a key HTTPS certificate expire on its childcare tax credit portal.…

Plus: Redmond unveils Connected Store Microsoft has new applications for Dynamics 365 that retailers will be pleased to note use data and AI to assist "personalisation" and optimisation across multiple retailing channels, including online and in-store.…

Do not come to hospital unless it's critical, it tells patients on Facebook and Twitter Torbay & South Devon NHS has declared a state of emergency of the tech kind, warning that a “critical IT systems failure” has forced it to cancel all scheduled routine surgery and outpatients appointments.…

Well we say for free... but having too much of it means you prob have fatty liver disease Do you ever feel drunk, even though you swear you haven't touched a drop of alcohol at all? Well, your gut might be harbouring a type of bacteria that brews booze as a byproduct.…

Plus: Start the week right by watching Apple's latest being dropped repeatedly A teardown of the iPhone 11 seems to have confirmed support for bi-lateral charging – the ability to charge another device using your phone's battery.…

Plus, a Windows NTFS flaw, Fortnite hacking, and much, much more Security roundup Here are a handful of security happenings in the past week that are worth noting - aside from what The Reg has already covered.…

A week of 'big-picture thinking' surprisingly small in detail Analysis In the last week there's been no shortage of "big-picture thinking" in digital government circles.…

With 2025 deadline, potential for disruption is huge Interview Most people are unaware of the huge infrastructure challenge the UK is about to undergo as 15 million phone lines are switched off.…

Regulatory compliance? We've heard of it Who, Me? If it's Monday, then it must be time for another jaunt to the hallowed confessional of Who, Me? where Register readers confess their, or their co-workers', deepest darkest sins.…

Find out how your peers are doing getting ahead with Google Cloud Promo Even if you’re not worried about your traditional data warehouse delivering all the insight it could, you’re almost certainly worried about it staying secure and compliant.…

MCubed doors open in just over a week Event It's barely a week till we kick open the doors at MCubed, but there’s still time for you to join us and learn from a lineup of speakers who’ve all put the theory behind machine learning and artificial into practice.…

Free burritos keep the action going but, jeez, open a window would ya? Hardcore gamers no longer have to tread the knife-edge of actual life or death in the physical world while pwning n00bs in their favourite battle royale.…

TMI, luv. TMI. No, please don't look at Goatse. Stop. STOOOP The BBC has launched a mobile app – Own It – with a Beeb-approved interface aimed at keeping kids safer online when using baby's first smartphone.…

Taco titan's e-ordering fails when browser autofill takes over Chipotle Mexican Grill has been leaving money on the table, thanks to an apparent bug in the restaurant chain's e-commerce operation.…

And alleges outsourcing giant then struggled to deliver contracted services DXC Technology has been named in another class-action lawsuit that alleges mass redundancies were used by senior management to boost earnings but left the company unable to service contracted clients properly.…

Oh no I didn't, says disgraced ex-Kaspersky guy An accused Russian hacker has claimed Kaspersky's former head of investigations blackmailed him into stealing approximately £150,000 from local banks.…

It felt as if millions of SaaS customers suddenly cried out in frustration, then headed off for the weekend early It has been a rough morning for Salesforce here in San Francisco: part of the cloud giant's sprawling empire fell over and stayed down for more than 12 hours. In fact, it stumbled over so hard, CEO Marc Benioff's techies are having to apply fixes to servers manually.…

JavaScript packager seeks new boss amid internal friction, firings, unionization attempts NPM Inc, the JavaScript package registry, is looking for a new CEO. Bryan Bogensberger, hired in January to develop the company's enterprise business, resigned today "to pursue new opportunities."…

IntelliFlash flogged to big data storage firm, ActiveScale on the block American drive-slinger Western Digital has pulled out of the storage systems business, telling the world last night that it is selling the IntelliFlash array unit to DDN.…

Tech runs browsers in sandbox to humiliate malware Ink seller HP is buying endpoint security company Bromium, which already comes bundled with some HP computers under the Sure Click brand.…

37-year-old was extradited to Blighty to stand trial A Bulgarian phishing criminal who created fake versions of legitimate companies' websites as part of a £40m fraud has been jailed.…

Perception is an illusion, grasshopper Security surveys tend to confirm what we already knew a few months ago and the 2019 Global Cyber Risk Perception Survey (PDF) from Marsh and Microsoft does not disappoint.…

Prepare for aerial droppings, Virginians After being hounded out of Australian capital Canberra earlier this year, Google has declared that its Wing division will now start hassling innocent Americans with drone parcel deliveries.…

Payday landing for grandson of Churchill, chief exec Rupert Soames Brit outsourcing giant Serco was today named preferred bidder for a six-year £450m ferry and freight services contract between the Scottish mainland and the Orkney and Shetland islands.…

Lighter, flatter and forveal – ooh yes, forrrveeeeal The Apple rumour mill churned a perennial favourite back to the surface this week when new patent applications from the company referring to augmented reality tech were published.…

Chernobyl? That's cute Sellafield nuclear power station in Cumbria, northern England, is calling for help to increase the number of robots it uses to monitor and clean the site.…

Oh shoot, Climate Day. Quick everyone, look green! Google CEO Sundar Pichai used a trip to Finland to tell world+dog that the ad giant would be ploughing billions of Euros into European data centres.…

Pick one trained with salacious conversations for maximum fun Machine-learning chatbot systems can be exploited to control what they say, according to boffins from Michigan State University and TAL AI Lab.…

Ranger Services goes to ground over unsecured Azure blob Exclusive Tesco has shuttered its parking validation web app after The Register uncovered tens of millions of unsecured ANPR images sitting in a Microsoft Azure blob.…

The Reg chats to Dame Margaret Hodge MP about box slinger's tax affairs Interview Amazon's latest PR efforts to paint itself as a responsible corporate citizen in the UK have been branded "complete bollocks" by Dame Margaret Hodge MP, a long-term critic of the online giant's tax practices.…

'Aggravating and alarming!' Nest users are shouting at Google to let them register G Suite accounts to their home assistant and automation devices.…

These things can mess with your brain Something for the Weekend, Sir? I never quite turned out to be the fine young woman my parents were hoping for.…

Operator refusing to apply automatic discounts next year UK consumer charity Citizens Advice has accused telco giant Hutchison's UK network Three of "ripping off loyal customers" to the tune of £32.4m per year, by refusing to apply automatic discounts once contracts end.…

In praise of mouse balls On Call Welcome to On Call, that time of the week when you can luxuriate in the aggravation endured by others, safe in the knowledge it would never happen to you, right?…

Join us, Google, and one of its customers to gain real-world advice on extracting the most value from your info Webcast If you depend on your data to disrupt the market, you’ve probably already built a modern data-oriented infrastructure. But you are also likely coming up against some common challenges facing many organisations that operate at the cutting edge of data.…