The Register

Optane's great as memory, says Big Blue, but we can't do that yet IBM's made good on its promise to fire up a cloud packing Intel's Optane non-volatile memory “in the second half of 2017.” But Big Blue has fallen short of the “broad services suite” it foreshadowed and can't even put Optane to work as memory.…

'Earn up to 90% in less than an hour' apps binned, Apple vows they won't return Apple and Google have pulled options trading programs from their respective app stores after being asked to do so by the Australian Securities and Investment Commission (ASIC).…

If you fancy something more profitable, Oracle's cloudy cross-seller predicts your tastes Oracle's fired up a cloud service that it says can automate and refine the question of whether you'd you'd like fries with that when ordering food at a restaurant.…

Get it? Put the drinks on my tab? Haha, ah. What a wild ride life is Apple is crediting a resurgence in its education programs and school sales in helping to drive up iPad sales to its first gains since 2014.…

We all want totally secure gear. And flying cars. And $1m. And... After years of warnings about the parlous state of Internet of Sh!t security, the US Senate has finally introduced legislation on the matter.…

Final liquidators' meeting to wrap up billionaire boys fun phone adventure Infamous Australian telco One.Tel is finally being read its last rites. The Register understands that the the final meeting of members and creditors will take place in August and it is expected that regulators will erase the company from their registers three months later.…

Far be it from us to lecture journos on overreacting but cripes – calm down If you thought artificial intelligence was already overhyped to death, this week will have given you a heart attack.…

Fake quotes linked DNC staffer to Wikileaks to divert attention from Russia, it is claimed To obscure Russia's role in the 2016 election, the Trump administration collaborated with Fox News to fabricate news about the murder of Democratic National Committee staffer Seth Rich, according to a defamation and discrimination lawsuit filed on Tuesday.…

US comms giant denies buyout rumors, says it prefers Verizon for the time being US cable monster Charter Communications says it has no interest in acquiring mobile carrier Sprint – at least for the time being.…

Magical thinking meets willful ignorance at closed meeting Analysis UK Home Secretary Amber Rudd kicked off a firestorm in the tech community Tuesday when she argued that "real people" don't need or use end-to-end encryption.…

Toshiba pulls plug on reactor construction, uranium becomes u-ran-out-of-cash Energy companies in the US have cancelled plans to build a pair of nuclear power plants – after Toshiba's Westinghouse Electric Company collapsed.…

Bitcoin Cash is the New Coke of cryptocurrency Bitcoin split into two separate currencies on Tuesday because part of the Bitcoin community isn't happy with recent and planned changes to the code that controls the cryptocurrency.…

v5.0 combines end-to-end data protection and big data storage Secondary storage consolidation player Cohesity has fulfilled a long-term promise and added archive-accessing workload support for Big Data analytics.…

Undulating propulsion system makes waves, useful for amphibious missions Feature In Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem "Paul Revere's Ride," light from lanterns served to signal how British troops would arrive at the start of the American Revolutionary War: One if by land, two if by sea.…

Replication tech integrated with data truck - yes an actual truck... WANdisco is integrating its Fusion product with Amazon's Snowball product, which moves massive amounts of data to its public cloud.…

Firm now tackles smaller crises alongside disaster recovery Databarracks has started offering business continuity as a service (BCaaS) to small and medium-sized businesses in the UK.…

Usage up 0.08% while Windows 10 continues to win converts Windows 10 adoption keeps rising and Windows 8 usage continues to fall, StatCounter confirmed in its latest monthly worldwide traffic sniff to discern who's using which desktop operating system.…

Isolation-based security is getting important Sysadmin blog Do you remember Web 2.0, Web 3.0 and so forth? It's marketing terminology that was popular at the turn of the millennium and was as used and abused as "cloud" is today. Underneath all the fluff, however, were solid and reasoned ideas about how technology would evolve and the benefits they'd bring.…

Networking biz forks out for loss-making outfit Comms and networking integrator Maintel has snapped up Merseyside-based reseller Intrinsic Technology for £5.2m.…

Bewilderingly, algo-crafting boffins fail to reference Reg standards Academic research is always best when it confirms your preconceptions, and a pair of data scientists from Lawrence Technological University have done just that.…

Don't take our name in vain, DJI veep tells trade union Drone manufacturer DJI has publicly challenged a pilots' union to release the disputed results of an aircraft collision study it sponsored.…

With a knick knack, piggyback, throw broadband folks a bone In its on-going efforts to break Blighty's broadband dependence on BT, regulator Ofcom has today proposed a cap on Openreach's rental charges for smaller providers accessing its ducts and poles.…

'Substantial upfront cash payment' from licensing spat Apple has handed over a cool €1.7bn (£1.5bn) cash payment to Nokia following an intellectual property dispute with the Finnish firm.…

Wants to hand out £40m from £200m full-fibre investment pot The government is to begin trialling a gigabit voucher scheme with small businesses in autumn, according to proposals seen by The Register.…

Jailbreak it the official way, kids... Review Student debt in the United States now stands at $1.2 trillion. In the UK outstanding student loans top £100 billion. Microsoft has made an fascinating contribution to the student debt crisis, by attempting to increase it.…

Heard about this, Cray? DDN says it will provide support to stranded ClusterStor customers following Seagate’s product line shutdown - only they are not stranded.…

Wait, come back. There are some... good bits, promise Skype revolutionised IP-based video calling to such an extent it became a verb, much like Google. This largely consumer technology went pro in 2011 when Microsoft bought the firm for $8.5bn.…

Backpack PC aimed at designers who move between metaphorical mice and VR HP Inc has released a backpack PC for the office.…

Telematics torched in BMWs, Infinitis, Nissan Leaf and some Fords A bunch of mid-age Ford, Infiniti, Nissan and BMW vehicles are carrying around a vulnerable chipset from Infineon that America's ICS-CERT reckons is easy to exploit.…

Stallman says ZFS-on-Linux is impossible ... now Red Hat has dedupe without GNU legals Red Hat has acquired “the assets and technology of Permabit Technology Corporation”, a data-shrinking concern, for an undisclosed sum.…

Room-temperature single-photon-emitter boosts conventional networks Single-photon emitters aren't a new thing in physics labs, but they usually require liquid-helium-chilled freezers.…

Attackers can look legit while hitting APIs that make the most work for an app Netflix has identified denial of service threat to microservices architectures that it's labelled “application DDOS”.…

Prank prompts 'vinyl sounds so much better than toys' debate Canadian indie outfit Arcade Fire has released an album on a USB-flash-drive-packing fidget spinner.…

38 lines of code later, you're owned. Good thing the fix is in, eh? McAfee has moved to patch a bug that falls under the “didn’t you get the memo?” category: among other things, its free Security Scan Plus online tool retrieved information over HTTP – that is, in plain text.…

Facebook hits the acqui-hire button to boost its instant-messaging assistant Facebook has acquired Ozlo presumably to help the gigantic social network improve its virtual assistant M on its Messenger platform.…

Entertainment giant acknowledges attack, stays mum on details HBO is the latest entertainment giant to have its precious content stolen and leaked by hackers, including program episodes and possibly Game of Thrones scripts.…

Facial recognition? Amazing. Edge screen? How is that even possible? Eagle-eyed code-jockeys have dug out some intriguing details about the new Apple iPhone – most notably that the company is still desperately chasing Samsung.…

Enceladus, Europa will not be habitable, scientists warn The possibility of alien life on the icy planets and moons in our Solar System could be lower than previously thought, because any water on them will quickly vaporize, according to a new study in Nature Geoscience.…

Amber alert! The UK's Home Sec is heading this way Executives at Facebook, Google and other terrorist-enabling online services are said to be quaking in their boots as UK Home Secretary Amber Rudd swoops into Silicon Valley this week to read them the riot act.…

Watchdog goes to court to open up black box system Google's advertising systems that connect people's in-store purchases to their online browsing may face regulatory review – because the Chocolate Factory won't disclose details about how it slices and dices its data.…

'We do not plan to continue selling to these accounts' Amazon has sold around $30,000 worth of consumer tat over a period of six years to several accounts that may have been clicking on the basket in service of Iran - in possible violation of US-imposed sanctions against that country.…

How would that work, exactly? Comment Steve Bannon, President Trump's chief policy strategist who has been dubbed "the Second Most Powerful Man in the World", wants a clampdown on Silicon Valley.…

A viable option with a slew of new difficulties Some Toshiba creditors and shareholders are thinking the unthinkable, saying the company should seriously consider declaring itself bankrupt.…

Hong Kong’s richest man just got a bit richer UK mobile operator Three's Hong Kong-based parent company Hutchison is to flog off its fixed-line phone business for HK$14.5bn (£1.4bn).…

What's a few more billion between friends, eh? US defence technology firm Raytheon’s advanced GPS project has encountered yet more cost-inflating delays, according to reports.…

Can Seagate escape coming HDD crash? Analysis The flash industry is worth more than twice the disk drive industry in terms of product ship revenues. Trends suggest a shrinking disk drive industry will squeeze the three drive manufacturers, leaving Seagate with no escape.…

Security analysts: None of our systems were pwned Hackers have leaked what they claim is information stolen from FireEye/Mandiant after apparently breaking into the incident response biz's network. Mandiant has denied this.…

The best of the rest from Black Hat and DEF CON Analysis BSides, Black Hat, DEF CON... For the last six days, Las Vegas has been home to the top brains in the computer security industry and the business menagerie that follows them – causing some panic among locals.…

Troubled NoSQL database-flinger was in ‘financial freefall’, court docs show Basho, the biz that developed the Riak distributed database, has been put into receivership after it stopped paying the bills to its main creditors.…