Story

My necklace is an abacus of physical bitcoins so I can do my accounting anywhere (front vs. back, multiple rows) and when the IRS calls I only have to walk in the door :P

Sure it's big and weighs a ton but it also costs several millioioioins dollares because of the bitcoin and nobody will ever steal it because nobody steals necklaces and nobody thinks that anyone wearing a necklace would be wearing anything but a cheap trinket and it's not like it's the most visible, alluring, and easy theft around except for dumb smartphones.

That's what I think of wristwatches, they were enough of a pain when they weren't computers :)

Yes I know the shallowness of human social interaction requires something easy and nontaxing to latch on to for the bragging rituals to start, wear a colorful band-aid on your forehead and it will serve the same purpose for cents and be even more "in your face", in addition you will know it's "you" that's wanted because who the hell digs for band-aids? :D

"Did you hurt yourself?"
Genuine smile. "Yes emotionally, I use this to get into conversations with people and to invite members of the opposite sex"

Consternation = avoid, interest = snog, laugh = marry.