Article 44YFF Mortician Always Keeps Hammer At Tableside Just In Case One Comes Back To Life

Mortician Always Keeps Hammer At Tableside Just In Case One Comes Back To Life

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The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Oni
from The Onion on (#44YFF)
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PUTNEY, VT-Claiming past experiences taught him to be prepared for sudden displays of vitality, mortician Radiston Nikolov, 38, told reporters Thursday that he always keeps a hammer beside his mortuary table in case one of his embalming subjects comes back to life. "I just like knowing this baby's within reach in the"

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