Article 47M73 Doctors Assure Recovering Patient He Has Many More Years Of Looking At Phone Ahead Of Him

Doctors Assure Recovering Patient He Has Many More Years Of Looking At Phone Ahead Of Him

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The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Oni
from The Onion on (#47M73)
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KANSAS CITY, MO-After a biopsy determined a tumor removed from his kidney was benign, local 28-year-old Andrew Keller was reportedly reassured by doctors Wednesday that he still had quite a few years of staring at his smartphone ahead of him. "Good news: The tests came back completely negative, which means you'll be"

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