'Occult' text from Buffy The Vampire Slayer ep actually just story about new bus lane in Dublin

And it's still a better love story than Twilight

Conundrum. You're working on a burning trash pile of a '90s TV show and need some spooky, mysterious language to lorem ipsum into a book of supposedly occult nature. Which tongue has a suitable enough clusterfuck of vowels to make the prop look like it's about to summon Yog-Sothoth?"