Article 49P2C Stock Market Soars After Investors Decide That Would Be Fun Thing To Make Happen Today

Stock Market Soars After Investors Decide That Would Be Fun Thing To Make Happen Today

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The Onion
from The Onion on (#49P2C)
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NEW YORK-Attributing the gains this morning to them being "just kinda in the mood," top Wall Street investors confirmed the U.S. stock market soared in early trading Friday after they decided it would be a fun thing to make happen. "Often, you'll see the S&P 500 rise because of a jobs report or international trade"

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