Article 4ADDW God Purges Millions Of Souls From Heaven Now That Sexual Assault Being Taken More Seriously

God Purges Millions Of Souls From Heaven Now That Sexual Assault Being Taken More Seriously

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The Onion
from The Onion on (#4ADDW)
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THE HEAVENS-Attempting to do His part in holding abusers accountable amid the rise of the #MeToo movement, God, our heavenly Father, announced Tuesday that He would supervise the purging of millions of souls from Heaven now that sexual assault was being taken far more seriously. "I had definitely heard many rumors,"

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