Article 4GNJ2 Man Wastes No Time Masturbating While Roommate Gone For Weekend

Man Wastes No Time Masturbating While Roommate Gone For Weekend

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The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Oni
from The Onion on (#4GNJ2)
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PITTSBURGH, PA-Frantically removing his pants while simultaneously shouting "See ya Monday!" through his bedroom door, local man Tyler Mackey wasted absolutely no time masturbating directly after his roommate left to spend the weekend out of town. Upon hearing the door close and the key withdraw from the lock, Mackey"

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