Article 4WPH3 All Of Area Man’s Positive Qualities Stolen From Past Friends

All Of Area Man’s Positive Qualities Stolen From Past Friends

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The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Oni
from The Onion on (#4WPH3)
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DALLAS, CO-Revealing that not a single favorable attribute had emerged organically from his own personality, all of area man Spencer Lindell's positive qualities were stolen from past friends, sources confirmed Tuesday. "I legitimately don't think there's a single good characteristic Spencer has that he didn't pluck"

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