Good folk of Forfar: Alan Hattel would like you all to know he's not dead despite what it says on his tombstone

So give him a call FFS

Like the unfortunate soul who finds himself being loaded onto a cart of plague victims in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, a bloke from Forfar in Scotland has had to declare himself "still alive" after finding his name on a headstone in a local graveyard."