Article 54Y3J Heavily Armed Self-Help Gurus Demand America Reopens Their Hearts

Heavily Armed Self-Help Gurus Demand America Reopens Their Hearts

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from The Onion on (#54Y3J)
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WASHINGTON-Following months of lockdown due to the Covid-19 pandemic, an angry mob of heavily armed self-help gurus reportedly demanded Tuesday that Americans reopen their hearts. It's time for U.S. citizens to find a way to look inwards and embrace their own divinity or face the inevitable consequences," said an...

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