Panicked Officials Agree To Reopen Gyms After Disastrous 85% Drop In Nation’s Chiseled Studs
BOSTON-Addressing a precipitous nationwide decline in bicep circumference, pectoral definition, and rigid, beautifully cut abs, panicked officials in every state announced Thursday they would immediately reopen gyms following a catastrophic 85 percent drop in chiseled studs across the country. Cutting off access to...