Living in a woman’s body: I was obsessed with being thin, then I became pregnant and felt invincible

After years of disgust, I saw the possibility of beauty in my body just as it is. Now I am the happiest I have ever been

My body is an accordion. Not because it sounds horrible. I mean, it does. It clicks and cracks and honks, and when I try to sing nicely my son screams from the pit of his soul, like I've brandished an axe. No, what I mean is, it's like an accordion because, for 32 years I was squeezing her in. In and in, for a half-life.

On a BMI chart, I've always been obese" - technically, ill. So for decades I saw my body as defective, disappointing and disgusting. If I looked at it, I felt the kind of hatred and repulsion I normally reserve for racists or people who say hashtag justsayin'" out loud.