Make Linux look exactly like Windows 95

Linux themes and icon sets, inspired by other operating systems, have been around for as long as Linux has had a GUI. Some times those themes get pretty close to looking like the original. But...

What if - what if - you could make your Linux desktop look almost exactly like Windows 95?

It's damn headerbars in GNOME (and now also Xfce) that mess this utopia up. They looks preposterously bad using these classic operating systems skins.