Article 6049R Nationwide Lifeguard Shortage Could Postpone Thousands Of Sexual Awakenings

Nationwide Lifeguard Shortage Could Postpone Thousands Of Sexual Awakenings

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from The Onion on (#6049R)
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MILWAUKEE-Amid a continuing labor shortage impacting small towns and cities across the country, officials warned Wednesday that the inability to fill lifeguard positions could postpone thousands of sexual awakenings. Without anyone jogging along the beach while their breasts move up and down in slow motion, we fear...

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