Friends Enjoy Being Reached Out to More Than We Think
hubie writes:
The greater the surprise, the greater the appreciation, study says:
People consistently underestimate how much others in their social circle might appreciate an unexpected phone call, text or email just to say hello, and the more surprising the connection, the greater the appreciation, according to research published by the American Psychological Association.
"People are fundamentally social beings and enjoy connecting with others," said lead author Peggy Liu, PhD, of the University of Pittsburgh. "There is much research showing that maintaining social connections is good for our mental and physical health. However, despite the importance and enjoyment of social connection, our research suggests that people significantly underestimate how much others will appreciate being reached out to."
Across all experiments, those who initiated the communication significantly underestimated the extent to which recipients would appreciate the act of reaching out. [...] "We found that people receiving the communication placed greater focus than those initiating the communication on the surprise element, and this heightened focus on surprise was associated with higher appreciation," said Liu. [...]
Many people have lost touch with others in their lives, whether they're friends from high school or college or co-workers they used to see at the water cooler before work went remote, according to Liu. Initiating social contact after a prolonged period of disconnect can feel daunting because people worry about how such a gesture might be received. These findings suggest that their hesitations may be unnecessary, as others are likely to appreciate being reached out to more than people think.
"I sometimes pause before reaching out to people from my pre-pandemic social circle for a variety of reasons. When that happens, I think about these research findings and remind myself that other people may also want to reach out to me and hesitate for the same reasons," Liu said. "I then tell myself that I would appreciate it so much if they reached out to me and that there is no reason to think they would not similarly appreciate my reaching out to them."
Journal Reference:
Peggy Liu, SoYon Rim, Lauren Min, and Kate Min, The Surprise of Reaching Out: Appreciated More than We Think [pdf], J Pers Soc Psychol, 2022. DOI: 10.1037/pspi0000402
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