The chancellor tries being nice as if it’ll stop us noticing the horrors ahead | John Crace

The cuts will still be terrible, but not as terrible as they could have been. Rejoice! Celebrate St Jeremy, the patron saint of expectation management

First, roll the pitch. For the last few weeks Jeremy Hunt has been going out of his way to explain just how screwed the economy really is. That he is going to have to do some desperately unpleasant things to stabilise the situation. Things so unpleasant he doesn't really want to mention them. But he's such a decent guy - fall into my eyes and surrender to my embrace" - that he's going to tell us anyway. Because we deserve to know the truth.

It's not us. It's not even him. It's just life. The war. Things are just too, too bloody. Bloody bloody. So he's going to ask us all to make sacrifices. Some may even have to make the ultimate sacrifice. Not all of us are going to get through this. The elderly may die of starvation in their unheated homes.