Article 6JCP8 38-Year-Old Assumed He’d Have Settled Down On Distant Monster-Filled Planet By Now

38-Year-Old Assumed He’d Have Settled Down On Distant Monster-Filled Planet By Now

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from The Onion on (#6JCP8)
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WAITSFIELD, VT-Feeling like a failure upon realizing that he had never even been to space, local 38-year-old Mike Arroyo told reporters Monday that he assumed he would have settled down on a distant monster-filled planet by now. I dunno, I just figured at this point in my life I'd be fighting off grotesque,...

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