Article 6M97J Tearful God Admits To Kidnapping Humanity 4,000 Years Ago To Raise As Own Children

Tearful God Admits To Kidnapping Humanity 4,000 Years Ago To Raise As Own Children

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from The Onion on (#6M97J)
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THE HEAVENS-Saying He did not expect the species to forgive Him, a tearful God, Our Lord and long-supposed Heavenly Father, admitted to reporters Tuesday that He kidnapped human beings 4,000 years ago to raise them as His own children. I'm so sorry-I know I've always said you were created in My image, but that's not...

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