Trump Targeted In Second Assassination Attempt

The Onion Staff

from The Onion on 2024-09-18 15:49 (#6QTV8)

Former President Donald Trump is safe following what appears to be an attempted assassination while playing golf, occurring two months after another attempt on his life at a rally in Pennsylvania. What do you think?

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I didn't realize it was such a challenging golf course."
James Puello, Microphone Tester

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I don't care what the excuse was. Either finish the hole or let me play through."
Omar Ordaz, Clock Setter

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Someone needs to investigate how these gun-wielding lunatics keep getting into the United States."
Alexis Nguyen, Cubist Landscaper

The post Trump Targeted In Second Assassination Attempt appeared first on The Onion.

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