High School Quarterback Using Tire Swing To Practice Putting Head Through CT Scanner

TYLER, TX-Honing his brain imaging-form until sundown most nights, local high school quarterback Brendan Porter has reportedly used a tire swing this week to practice putting his head through a CT scanner. With the big game coming up, I'm putting in the hours on this tire and making sure I'm prepared to remove any metallic objects or jewelry before lying down on the CT table," said Porter, explaining that the more he worked on his control and held his body still as it passed through the tire swing's opening, the better chance he'd have of getting a clear image of his excessive brain swelling that doctors could read and make a diagnosis from. My dad was a star high school concussion patient, so he's been showing me the ropes. I'm hoping to get admitted to the same hospital he went to. Trust me, when game day arrives and I have to be treated for internal cranial bleeding, I'll be ready." At press time, sources confirmed Porter was pumping himself up for the big scan while suiting up in his hospital gown.

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